Mommy... Daddy hurt my penis!

[txbikegrrl]

I've been having DH take over more of the am and pm routines with 2.5yo DS unassisted so I can spend some snuggling/nursing time with our 4mo since I returned to work. So I asked DH if he did anything different he said no. But penis was red and when I bathed him a few days later he didn't want to sit in the water and covered his penis when I went to rinse him off with the showerhead. DS usually enjoys that so now I'm baffled asking more questions so I can call the pedi. DH says something about just cleaning it out...

So my intact DH retracted the foreskin... several times


Now what do we do?!? This was last week and DS is enjoying the bath or shower again so I'm hoping it's okay...

[eepster]

Really the only thing to do is make sure your DH doesn't do it again.

Unfortunately when men born between the 1950-1990 were left intact their moms were systematically told to do this. It is only older men (and ones from non-circ countries) that remember that they couldn't retract till they were older.

The good news is that most of these men didn't suffer permanent damage, so chances are your DS will be fine now.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I would talk to your dh in a non confrontational manner and explain to him about retracting (moving the foreskin back any at all) is a big and can cause infection and pain and scar tissue for your ds.

As long as from here on out no one retracts him he should heal and be fine. But it is very important that it be left alone and keep soap off of it because soap is bad for the genitals. Be sure to rinse him well after a bath so that the soapy water he was in is removed totally.

[Night_Nurse]

Yikes! Please let DH know to never, ever retract and clean like that. Your ds can do that on his own when he's old enough and needs to. Maybe since your ds has now been retracted by someone you might tell him that no one else but him should ever do that and to say "no" if anyone ever tries again (in case a grandparent, aunt, sitter tries to do it).
Most of the time if left alone, the foreskin will "heal" itself within a short time. So that's my advice. Just leave it alone and let it heal. Just tell your ds to let you know if he's hurting again.

[txbikegrrl]

Thanks for the quick replies! DH is from a non-circ country/culture but has a bad memory. His mom reminded him that cleaning didn't start until later bc he doesn't remember anything before like 4th grade and I have to remind him of "mundane" stuff but he can solve all types of complicated math problems etc. Anyway I'll remind him periodically I guess...

We quickly rinse DS off with the showerhead after baths usually bubble baths. I think DH could use WAY less soap but he gets defensive if I critique so I try to pick battles