my mom totally flaked on us....vent

[snoopy5386]

DD2 was born on Sunday and my mom was on spring break this week so she was home on vacation. The plan was she would come down to visit/help if the baby was born this week. She started stalling on coming right away, during the phone call when we told her DD was born. She ended up begging off until next weekend because 1. she couldn't get in touch with her cat sitter and 2. she "didn't even have a 2nd litter pan in the house". Umm...seriously? My sister, grandma and aunt all live within 20 mins of her and I'm sure would have taken care of her cats, but in reality I think she is just flat out lying about it and I believe stores sell litter pans and since you are not working right now you could go buy one?
Now she is supposedly coming next weekend with my sister, but I'll believe it when I see it. I guess the unreliable cat sitter will watch her cats?
She hasn't come to visit us in over 18 months (we live 3 hours away and are expected to come there all the time), but I was really hoping she would come through this time, the time when I needed her more than ever. Seriously what Grandma wouldn't want to come spend time snuggling her newborn granddaughter and her 4 yo granddaughter who adores her?

Thank goodness our friend who was DD1's childcare for the birth was able to stay the whole week with us, I don't know what we would have done without him. The in laws come tomorrow to help out, but would have scheduled their visit earlier if my mom had been honest up front. So they missed out on seeing DD2 as a new newborn as well because of my mom. So frustrating.....

[sanguine_speed]

[mom2happy]

Hopefully she'll come soon and you wont feel too bad.
Some people are wrapped up in their own lives and cant help but put them selves first. Iv'e been trying to cope with this type of stuff from my mom for years. For the first and second baby she was barely around. Now all of a sudden for this one she is helping a lot. Im greatful for the help, but I also know that its only temporary because she is bored. Her boyfriend has been working evenings. I know as soon as his schedule matches hers, it will be over.

[laughingfox]

Unfortunately, there are some people that you just can't count on.. and they can't even be upfront and give you any advance notice either.


I'm glad you did have someone who could help you out.

[crazyrunningmama]

I am feeling let down by my family too. I am trying hard to ignore it and/or focus on how it is "their stuff" and not about me. They do the best they can with who they are, kwim? I hope you are able to put it aside and focus on your new addition. Focus on the love!!!!

[finn'smama]

My mom has flaked out too. She did take the older two the night Henry was born, but she had promised for a month that she would take them to a maple festival on the 10th, which she bailed on the night before. It's the canceling or changing of plans on short notice that bugs me. And the fact that it's a big deal for her to help at all. She's very self absorbed these days. She actually said between me having a baby, my sister selling her house and my other sister immigrating to New Zealand, she is very stressed out. Poor thing

[pacificbliss]

I'm sorry. That would be tough.

[pacificbliss]

Sorry, just realized I crashed your DDC. I'm in the June DDC and saw it on new posts. Congratulations!

[snoopy5386]

The flaking continues.....now she is not coming next weekend because my sister's dog is sick and so my sister has to stay home with her dog (which is fine and I get) but my mom doesn't want to come by herself (this will be the 1st time she drives here). Cause you know, the baby was a complete surprise - she didn't have 9 months to make a visit once so she was comfortable with the drive. Now she is talking about not coming until the 2nd or 3rd week of May.....I just can't get over it - she loves, loves, loves DD1, I know she loves her grandkids, so why won't she want to come see her newborn granddaughter?

[virgo]

Is out of character for her? Maybe she is going through a personal issue but doesn't want to bother you with it while you're celebrating your new addition?