9-year-old and household tasks

[greenemami]

So, what kind of tasks can/does your 9-year-old do around the house-I mean things like meal prep, dishes, sweeping, making their own snacks, making their own lunches, taking out trash, etc.? I am particulary intersted in if they make their own food-snacks, lunches, etc., and what kind of things.


I am just wondering what the norm is-Dsd is almost 9-thanks

[velochic]

Dd just turned 8, so I'm not sure how much more capable 1 - 1.5 years might make her. I don't have her make her own lunch because I make it at 5:30 in the morning, and I'm not going to wake her that early to do it herself. She gets her own snacks, for the most part. She has been in the kitchen with me since she was about 2 and I can trust her to even use my extremely sharp chef's knives to chop. She likes to peel and chop potatoes, fruit, veg and lettuce for salad. She can make the salads all by herself. She helps me cook, knead bread, bake treats, and help with the clean up. She helps me weed and plant the garden, water it. She is actually in charge of the herb garden all by herself. It's her baby. She does a lot of the harvesting, too. She makes beds, dusts, vacuums, folds clothes and puts her own away, cleans glass with vinegar water, dries dishes and loads the dishwasher. She can't put away most dishes because they're too high up.

These are not regular chores, just things she helps out with and is capable of doing on her own. Her regular chores are picking up her things, making the bed, putting her clothes in the dirty laundry, setting and clearing the table, and tending her herb garden (in season) and hauling firewood in the winter. On school breaks and weekends, she does more of the above mentioned things.

[ProtoLawyer]

My stepdaughter is 7.5 and I believe she is CAPABLE of doing everything you mention, at least simply (a PB&J and some fruit, for instance).

As she's in a major "I'm not going to" phase (to the point where she'll say: "Fine, if you won't get me a snack I like I'll just be hungry for the rest of my life and tell my mom so you'll never see me again"), most of that stuff either gets done with much protest, or not at all.

[mamalisa]

Like Velochic, my 9 year old does a ton of stuff around the house.

He's slowly learning how to cook, only because I tend to have dinner done before he gets home from school. He does laundry, dishes, takes out the trash and recycling (although the recycling he just taught his little sister to do), he wipes down the bathroom daily, keeps his own room clean including dusting and vacuuming and does a lot of odd little things around the house. He is responsible for making his own lunch and telling me when he gets low on lunch things. He takes care of his pet turtle (with a lot of reminders) and walks/feeds/ takes care of the dog.

He doesn't have to do all of them all the time, but he is able to and does them well. I am a huge believer that it is OUR home and we all have to do the things that have to be done.

Right now he's in his room sorting through his clothes to see what is too small and can be donated

[eclipse]

My son is 9. He does most of his own cooking because he's very, very picky. That mostly consists of using the microwave or the Foreman grill, eating cold things, or sometimes using the stove with supervision. He takes the kitchen trash to the big can outside and replaces the liner. (He has to be reminded to take it out, but he does it). He can do laundry. I usually do it myself, but I'm dealing with a back injury right now, so he's been helping with that. He puts away his own laundry (I fold). He picks up the floor in the den/office every night (6 yo DD does the playroom). He helps with gardening - watering plants, pulling weeds, clipping bushes. He's supposed to put all his dishes in the dishwasher after meals, but he usually forgets. Sometimes I pay him to clean out the van, and he does a decent job of it. Sometimes he sweeps outside. Sometimes he cleans the walls (especially since he seems to love to put his dirty feet on my walls ) It's important to me that he learns how to do housework. Dh's mother did everything for him, and it's been a big struggle to get dh to pull his weight at home. He's better now, but when we first moved in together, it caused a lot of fights.

[MJB]

My son is only 7 and I'm sure he'll be able to do more when he's 9, but for now he can make:
-scrambled eggs
-toast
-oatmeal
-sandwiches
-pasta
-rice (in the rice cooker)
-frozen food (boil or microwave)
-slice veggies

Pretty much anything that I can, as a non-cook (my husband does the real cooking). He makes eggs for breakfast several mornings a week without supervision. He helps my husband with dinner prep most nights (less now that it's springtime!) I want to get him a kid's cookbook so he can make dinners that aren't processed Trader Joe's stuff.

He cleans the cat litter (the deal when he got his cat), can clean the toilet, vacuum, sweep, do the dishes, clean his room, take the trash out, carry the recycling bins to the curb and back in. Like another poster said, these are things he can do, not his regular chores. He's expected to clean his room, make his bed, and do the cat litter. Everything else is on a more infrequent basis. If the kitchen trash is full when he's taking the cat litter out to the trash, it makes sense for him to take the trash out. If he asks how he can be helpful I might ask him to vacuum or clean the toilet.

[MusicianDad]

By the time DD was 9 she was fully capable of making her own snacks. Most of it was simple stuff since she, um... is less than naturally talented in the kitchen (much like DH). She could bake a great cake by that point in time though. She's getting better at cooking and can make a simple meal for the family now, which she does about once or twice a month.

[greenemami]

Okay, this has reaffirmed that we need to be expecting a bit more! I'm sure part of it is that she doesn't live here full time (about 40%) but overall I think we have just been lazy about expecting her to do a lot of things because it is easier to do it ourselves-however, with another baby added to the mix, I think the time has come Thanks for the input-and congrats on your very capable kids

[greenemami]

Actually, here is another part of the problem-I am often doing all of those things for the little kids (making snacks, meals, etc.)especially since dsd isn't here all the time, so I am used to a different routine and have trouble switching things up right away.

So, is it "okay" to expect dsd (the 9-year-old) to also do things for the littles? ACtually, she is great about helping dd (3) out with tons of little tasks, so I'm sure she wouldn't mind, it would more be my guilt that I should be doing it, lol. How do you guys handle that if there are little ones around too?

[eclipse]

I think it's fine to ask my son to help the littler ones. He just made all three of them grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch, in fact. I don't expect him to clean up after them - except he cleans up whatever mess happens in the den/office, because that's his area. But DD cleans up the mess in the playroom everyday, even if ds contributed to that.

[MusicianDad]

There is no problem with the older kids helping out with the smaller ones. It only becomes a problem when the parent just completely checks out when the older kids are around and make them do all the work.

DD helps a lot with DS, she gets him snacks, cleans him up, gets him dressed and changes diapers. At the same time it's pretty much when DH and I are just not in a position to attend to him immediately, or if they are playing together and he needs something.

[AAK]

Originally Posted by greenemami

Actually, here is another part of the problem-I am often doing all of those things for the little kids (making snacks, meals, etc.)especially since dsd isn't here all the time, so I am used to a different routine and have trouble switching things up right away.

So, is it "okay" to expect dsd (the 9-year-old) to also do things for the littles? ACtually, she is great about helping dd (3) out with tons of little tasks, so I'm sure she wouldn't mind, it would more be my guilt that I should be doing it, lol. How do you guys handle that if there are little ones around too?

For us, that actually helps a lot. Anna doesn't always want to do it for herself, but if she can be the "grown up" and help the four year old, she is more cooperative.

Amy