How to put siblings together?

[newbymom05]

I have an almost-5 y/o who has his own bed and room, and an almost-2 y/o who cosleeps with me. DS1 has two twins in his room, with the expectation that DS2 would wind up there eventually. Currently, DH sleeps in that twin b/c DS2 still wakes up all.night.long. and DH can't function for work w/ so little sleep. To say I'm sick of sleeping with a wakeful toddler vs. my DH is an understatement, but I/we are at a loss at how to fix this.

DS2 is "sort of" night weaned, meaning I tell him no, he grumbles and goes back to sleep 80% of the time, the other 20% I'm so tired I forget and start nursing him before I fully wake up. Whether I nurse him or not, he's up every 2 hrs or less and he's 23 months old. It's driving me freaking crazy. DS1 was the same way, but at least my DH slept with us (no extra beds at that time, lol) and I could nap during the day (not possible with non-napping into-everything 4.5 y/o).

How do I transition DS2 into DS1's room? Is 2 y/o too young? With DS1, once the baby came along it was so noisy he was happy to switch, plus he was 3 and able to understand/verbalize the whole thing. Do I just stick DS2 in there? Sleep on the floor until he settles? Will he ever settle at this age? With DS1 I seriously almost lost my mind, he was such a crappy sleeper, but he just had to grow out of it. I don't want to sleep apart from my DH for another year!!!

Please, please someone give me some BTDT advice.

[newbymom05]

No one?

[SeekingJoy]

Sorry, but no idea.

[momma-z]

Not sure this will help. . . take it or leave it! I have a 2.5 year old daughter and a 5 month old son. Whenever we need to make some change to DD's room/sleep arrangements/schedule, etc. (mostly to accommodate DS, despite our best efforts to maintain consistency for her), we prep her by playing up how exciting the change will be for HER. Like when we moved her out of the crib so we could use the crib for DS, we talked about it for a week or two before, then we went shopping and picked out some sheets and a pillow (first time using a pillow and kid comforter), she "helped" us put the bed together and make it, she chose out a couple favorite stuffed animals to put in it, etc. We gave her the option of sleeping in her old crib or the new bed and after a week she was exclusively sleeping in the new bed (encouraging the new bed, but never pushing). When she seemed really settled and the crib became nothing more than a storage place for clothes, blankets (about two weeks later) we finally moved the crib into our room for DS. For the transition of moving the crib out, we filled the empty space left behind with her favorite kid chair, some shelves for toys, and a couple pictures on the wall. She thought it was the greatest! When we finally move DS and crib into her room again (who knows when, his sleep is so terrible right now!) we'll play it up in advance - she gets to show him all the things in her room, she can help set up his corner of the room.

Maybe you can modify your son's routine a bit so it is similar to or overlaps your older child's routine (reading books together, putting on PJs, etc.) He might like the idea of getting to do what his older brother does. He may also feel comforted by having his brother in the room at night instead of you. By 2, our DD was mostly just comfort nursing, and weaned herself - one thing that helped was giving her a sippy cup of water to keep near her bed, which we'd encourage her to use instead of nursing (unless she really wanted to nurse). Finding the right sippy cup that wouldn't leak at all (and could be used sideways, upside down, etc. was a trick - we got one from playtex shaped like an hourglass with no straw). Maybe get him a new stuffed animal or toy that he can take to bed when he's in his "big kid" (but not in his old bed). I'd play up the new digs as much as possible but leave him the option at first of choosing what he wants to do, and then after a few days be a bit more firm about it. But maybe it'll be you and both DS's in the room for a while! Two steps forward one step back, or is it one forward and two back?

As for how you get your 2 year old to settle down. . . we're still having trouble with this. DD has always had trouble sleeping and although she sleeps great now and bedtime is pleasant, it takes a long time for her to settle down and go to sleep. DH usually puts DD to bed, but the time has lengthened from 1 hour to 1.5 hours, because he waits until she's completely asleep! So we're going to switch kids for bedtimes for a while. My DS is nursing to sleep and wakes up hourly, so DH is going to do the last step of cuddling and putting him in the crib to see if that helps. I'm going to put DD to sleep, and work on weaning her from endless back rubbing (yes, that's how she goes to sleep!)

I hope this helps. With two bad sleepers, I know how you feel!