Please convince me to keep going...

[ltlmrs]

Deleted for privacy reasons

Edited by ltlmrs - 7/13/11 at 7:15am

[calebsmommy25]

's Mama. I'm sorry you are struggling with this right now. You and your little ladybug should be the only ones to make the decision to wean. Despite your frustrations, it sounds like you really don't want to. I am nursing my 2 year old, and feel very frustrated sometimes. For me, I find that it has NOTHING to do with the actual nursing. It is all on me. I feel this way when I don't have time to myself, when I haven't had enough time to decompress, to just be me. I know as a mother it is very difficult to find these moments, but it is very, very important. I find that once I get even a 1/2 hour alone to shower, meditate/pray, read a magazine or simply sip a cup of coffee and check my email...I feel better. So, if you can...try to schedule some mommy time. See if you can get a sitter, or have your dh watch your lo so you can go to dinner with a friend, to the bookstore, walking, whatever your cup of tea is to re-energize your spirit. I'm sure there will be some Mama's here who can advise you on some nutrition tips, especially if you are bf and ttc.

She is STILL getting lots of good things from your milk Mama! Many children not nursing have cows milk, which doesn't even compare to the wonderful things your milk is giving your lo. Check out this link on extended breastfeeding from kellymom: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html

[PGTlatte]

If you truly feel that you don't really want to wean, and would feel sad about initiating it, then I will encourage you to set thoughts of weaning aside for now, since you asked for it. Now, I don't think there is anything wrong with a mom deciding that she wants to begin taking steps toward weaning. But I do think it's important that her feelings on it are clear. I don't think it's a good thing to do when you have mixed feelings about it. There is no hurry, and you can take the time you need to decide what you will feel good about doing.

In the meantime, perhaps setting some limits might help you feel better if you are feeling depleted or invaded or something like that. They can be whatever you need them to be - whether it is number of times, length of time, or just certain situations that bug you. And I agree, any breaks you can get for yourself would be good and might go a long way toward helping you feel better. It may very well be that it's not the nursing that is draining you, but just the demands of being "on" for a child this age for so many hours of each day.

As for feeling nutritionally depleted, I would recommend a post to the nutrition forum about your situation. There are so many wise ladies there. What works for me when I feel depleted is lots of vegetables in soups or stews that I make with bone-in meat. I also take cod-liver-oil capsules that have the natural A and D vitamins. This is what helps me - but I am no substitute for the nutrition forum

Originally Posted by ltlmrs

And deep in my heart I don't want to wean either. I want her needs to be met and just like when she was tiny and I was sleep deprived and I was tempted to just let her CIO and my whole being rebelled at the thought, my very being rebels at the thought of her not nursing anymore. But, my mind keeps telling me that she doesn't need the nutrition anymore and we can find other ways of comfort and I'll feel better if only she stops nursing.

[donutmolly]

Are you possibly already pregnant? If these are new feelings of ambivalence then it might be because you're already growing another baby...?

When DD2 was around 19mo, someone said to me that I must really love nursing since I was still nursing her (and pg with #3...) Obviously that person never nursed a toddler! I find that just as toddlers can be challenging in other behaviors, they are often a challenge to nurse. I am dedicated to nursing my child because it benefits her, not because I enjoy it. I also change diapers, but not because I get a thrill out of it, you know?

So, I like the suggestions about giving more limits so that nursing doesn't drive you nuts. As well as focusing on nourishing yourself, both with food and whatever re-charges you personally.

And, JMO, but if you are able to postpone TTC a bit, I would highly recommend it... Tandemn nursing is fine, I'm doing it now and am not run down or worn out by making milk. But, I wouldn't make a plan that involves tandemn nursing because I would really prefer to nurse only one baby at a time. It's hard to explain logically, for me it's more of an emotional response. But if you're already feeling annoyed by nursing a toddler, it's only going to be worse when you're pregnant, or have a newborn. If you can wait to TTC until your DD is ready to wean, I think it will be easier on both of you. I do think each kiddo really has a "birthright" to his/her fair share of breastmilk, and pregnancy can definitely compromise that. Again, JMO, as a currently tandemn nursing mama, I wouldn't plan to do this again... of course, if it happened then I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

[lunarlady]

Hugs to you mama. I know what you mean about being the only one who is still nursing. In my circle, heads would fall off if they knew DD (3.5) is still nursing.

I, too, struggled to balance my own diet with the demands of nursing. I was run down, too thin, and frequently tired. What worked for us was limiting the number of times per day we nursed as well as the duration of nursing sessions. Since my DD was about your ladybug's age, I've not let her nurse until she decides she is done. I eventually tell her when to stop. I use the snooze on my clock, so I can tell you it is 7 minutes a side. She is down to 3 sessions a day, max. Yes, I know that this is not the true spirit of CLW, but it kept me from weaning her entirely, and it might help you feel better too.

Find a balance that works for you, whatever that may be. Don't feel bad about putting some limits on the nursing. Some nursing is better than none!

[averlee]

Mama, I had to look back again to see- your baby is only 19 months. Nursing at least until age 2 is what's recommended- at least my daughter's pediatrician and the folks at WIC drilled that into me. It really jumped out at me, that there's an attitude that your baby is getting "too old" to nurse but that isn't the case at all! Realistically, I know 2+ years of breastfeeding is not going to be what works for every mother & baby, and babies obviously can do well on solids-only starting at about 1 year. Also, any amount of breastfeeding is going to give great benefits, even a single nursing session is better than none. 19 months is wonderful, and much longer than many babies get, you should be totally proud of yourself! Weaning sometimes makes a baby behave more annoying, rather than less- they can get clingy and whiny, constipated, and sleepless. One thing that might help your nutrition are drinks- juice, chocolate milk, nut/rice/soy milks, yogurt shakes, and different Odwalla blends, even milkshakes, might provide calories, protein, and fats while keeping you hydrated- I often find a beverage more appealing than a snack. Also, it really helped my daughter's nursing behavior when I explained to her honestly and simply, that her wiggling & grabbing did not feel good to me, and that nursing is supposed to feel good to mama AND baby. If she kept up the crazies, I removed her and did another activity (patty-cake, read a story, look out the window) for a few minutes before asking if she was ready and offering again. Both mother and baby continue to get great benefits as long as breastfeeding continues- for mother, less risks of reproductive cancers, and for baby, an IQ point every month.

[ltlmrs]

deleted for privacy

Edited by ltlmrs - 7/13/11 at 7:13am

[averlee]

ltlmrs, That's great to hear! I was thinking of you when I remember something- last spring, to reward myself for sticking with the nursing, I splurged on a gorgeous sundress from milk nursingwear. Maybe if you can do something similar, to really honor and celebrate the hard work and dedication to nursing that you've committed to, you'll feel more joyful about the breastfeeding relationship.

[langdonslady]

I relate a bit, though my DS is 2 1/2 now.
I was bold enough to nurse my DD til 2 1/2, and weaned because I couldn't handle the nipple pain and strong hormonal icky feeling I got every time she nursed (commonly called the heebie jeebies), but weaning her was non-traumatic. She just fell asleep in my mother's arms in the rocker 3 nights in a row, and I was dry because nursing to sleep was the only time she nursed by then.

Now, I have friends who nursed til their child was 4 or 5, and fully intended to do Child-led weaning with my DS, who is now 2 1/2. But surprise surprise, I am getting strong heebies while nursing now, and my supply dips to almost nothing mid-cycle. Eating ground flaxseed really helped with the severe nipple pain I was also getting mid-cycle, but the heebies are still there, and now appear to be not just mid-cycle.

DS is very attached to nursing, and on top of it, I would continue nursing if I could, because he has food allergies, and can't have cow or goat milk, is also allergic to soy and almond (I make my own almond milk, and it was great, til he became allergic to it!), so weaning has a big price attached. Once he's weaned, I will be jumping through hoops to supplement him daily with calcium, AND lactose which breaks down into galactose which is vital to normal mammalian brain development, AND probiotics, AND DHA/ARA/Omega-3s.

On the other hand, once he's weaned, I can have chocolate, dairy, egg, soy, almonds, tomatoes, blueberries, and strawberries again. Those are his food allergies.

I admire women who do Child-Led Weaning, and expected to do it myself, this time, but it's not working out that way for me. Whether it's because I am almost 37 and possibly in perimenopause, hypothyroid (treated with daily meds, but still), have high testosterone and PCOS, who knows. But for whatever reason, my supply is petering out, and I am getting strong aversions to nursing, nipple pain on and off, etc.

If you can nurse, and want to, I would say go for it, and just focus on finding friends who do child-led weaning or have at least nursed past 2, for support and encouragement. La Leche League is great. Your child will benefit, and of course the benefits for your health are good too.

If, like me, you find you have physical issues that are pointing you toward weaning, then don't crucify yourself. I have learned to appreciate CLW, but also to forgive myself for being human and not having a hormonal situation that is ideal. I wouldn't have considered weaning my son before age 2, but I think I will plan on weaning him before age 3, and I think I can do it in such a way that no one will be traumatized.

For the nutritional deficiencies, my advice would be to resolve them before TTC. Being deficient at conception and 1st tri can have detrimental effects on the baby, and on the pregnancy, and you.

And if correcting the nutritional deficiencies, saves your nursing relationship, even better!

Might I suggest kelp and other sea vegetables as a mineral-rich superfood? If you don't like eating them, you can get them in capsules.

Big hugs and I hope you find the support you need, both nutritionally and socially, to keep nursing, if you really do want to but are hindered by lukewarm social support, and lack of adequate nutrition. Your baby is less than 2, and whereas I won't say she'd be doomed if you weaned, she'll be better off if you can make it a while longer.

When you wean, ideally it will be when and how it feels right in your heart to do so, and not for someone else's reasons, or because of a health situation that can be resolved, and needs resolving anyway.

HUGS!

[belle.h]

I totally know how you feel.... DD#1 weaned at 26 months and DD#2 at 23 months. I was pregnant at both times (DD#3 is due in 2 months). We were both ready. I was on board with CLW, but at the same time I set some limitations to keep my sanity. With DD#2, the night she moved into her toddler bed from her crib, I just didn't nurse her. I figured it was a good time to try it, see what she did. SHe didn't miss a beat. I figured she was ready. She never asked again. Anyway, I had just reached that point, getting the creepy crawly feeling, almost dreading that 'before-bed' nursing.

If you decide that you want to take the path to encourage her to wean, or to give her the opportunity, don't feel one bit guilty. You've given her so much already. You've done a great job .