is this just a mama preferance?

[porenn]

I'm fairly certain this goes in nighttime parenting...

My daughter will be 2 next week. We co-sleep, and are not trying to move the her into her own bed, although she does have on, and sometimes we do start her in her bed- she always ends up with us tho.

Sometimes when she wakes at night she screams like she's getting stabbed. I can usually get her calmed down, but if my husband tries, she screams even harder, and and actively turns her back to him to snuggle me.

this is the only time she does this- during the day, I'm totally chopped liver, and if he has to leave for any reason, she's a puddle at the door until I can distract her. He's always been involved in day or night time parenting- they have a dozen different special activities that daddy does so much better than I - bath time, nap time, book reading, play with every toy and don't put it away time.... when she gets sleepy and he's home, she'll choose to snuggle with him until she falls asleep. when she wakes up in the morning, she'll roll over to wake him up first, I assume because she knows he's less grouchy. If she gets hurt, she's just as easily comforted by either one of us.

But the two am waking is horrible! If I get up and leave for any reason (fill water bottle, er a diaper)it's awful- like a blatant cold shoulder when he tries to comfort her. is it just that the middle of the night wakings aren't real "clean" wakings? that she's still semi asleep, and she reverts to instinct, and only recognizes me? is that possible- she is only two. and it's started only in the last few weeks, maybe three weeks?

Does this ever happen to anyone else? is there any way to make this easier? will it stop at any point? (the cold shouldering- I don't expect that the waking will stop anytime soon)

thanks very much!

-n

[lisavark]

I don't know about the mom-only nighttime parenting, because my two year old prefers me all the time except playtime on the weekends and has never gone to sleep without nursing, but the waking up screaming sounds like teething to me. Could she be getting her molars? Don't know how you feel about medicine, but that's the one time I use tylenol. The waking up screaming in pain just breaks my heart.

[briome]

My 2 1/2 year old just started doing this...
I think it is a developmental stage where they are better able to imagine things, good or bad. Dreams etc.....

We also moved last month so I think that threw the reaction into overdrive, oh and I am also expecting our third in a few weeks.....

SO i guess I am saying that I think this will pass, and if you can think of any other changes going on in the family life that might add to it.
I think it is better if you still try your best to coddle it a bit so she is in a safer place--then when the symptoms lesson a bit, then make gradual changes.

Good luck!

[liliaceae]

Sounds like it might be night terrors; I think 2 is a pretty common age for that. I wouldn't worry about the preference for you, I doubt it really means anything significant. My son has had things he's only wanted me, or only wanted DH to do throughout his life, and it seems to randomly switch sometimes.

[One_Girl]

Originally Posted by liliaceae

Sounds like it might be night terrors; I think 2 is a pretty common age for that. I wouldn't worry about the preference for you, I doubt it really means anything significant. My son has had things he's only wanted me, or only wanted DH to do throughout his life, and it seems to randomly switch sometimes.

I agree with this. There are some things that you can do to make it less likely that she will wake with night terrors. When my dd had her first one we went to the ER because she wouldn't be comforted by anyone and she cried for 20 minutes like she was in pain. She seemed to be awake but was not. They gave us a print out with advice that worked well but I don't remember what it was.

[beebalmmama]

Originally Posted by liliaceae

Sounds like it might be night terrors; I think 2 is a pretty common age for that. I wouldn't worry about the preference for you, I doubt it really means anything significant. My son has had things he's only wanted me, or only wanted DH to do throughout his life, and it seems to randomly switch sometimes.

Yep, we had night terrors around that time too. Although ds would usually respond to dh and I the same, with hysteria. We found that with night terrors for our ds it was better to sit with him but not try to comfort him. When we tried to hold him to calm him it seemed to make it worse because he wasn't really fully awake, even though his eyes were open. Although sometimes when I could calm him enough he would nurse and so that helped me better able to deal with it than dh.... I wouldn't worry about her relationship with dh and her night preference for you. I also found preferences for both of us has changed, even though ds has always been a mama's guy.