How do i get an almost 3 1/2 yo potty trained and off the bottle?

[tinyblackdot]

DD was just about out of diapers at 18 months, i thought i was putting to much pressure on her so i stopped and now im paying the price! She almost 3 1/2 and i can not get her out of diapers. She will not go to the potty, she fights me every time and does not seem to care if she pees or poops in her panties or pants. She does not want to wear diapers, but at the same time once she has one on she will not let me change her without a fight either.

We got "special surprises" for her for when she sat on the potty and for when she went potty on the potty too, we got her a special princess potty, pretty new panties that she picked out, we tried a gumball machine, we tried talking to her about how her body works, we have tried just about everything and we can just not get it down!

The only days we dont have accidents are the days when we are home all day and i make her sit on the potty every 45 mins or so, but every time is a huge fight and sometimes she will refuse to go on the potty and then she will pee in her pants 3 mins later! She refuses to pull her pants up or down, and will not go to the potty on her own at all.

I think that i have maybe babied her a little too much, she was very sick when she was little and we have let her have her paci and bottle way too long, and she still wakes up through out the night for a bottle of hemp milk. I guess i let her do it because i felt so guilty that i could not BF and comfort her,and we where so desperate to get calories and fat in her that we let her have that extra bottle or 2 at night for the nutrient. So what do i do?

Should i have a big girl party day or something and tell her that there will be no more bottles, pacies, or diapers? Or concentrate on one at a time? And how in the world to i get her to sleep?

[LindsC]

I would tackle one issue at a time. Personally, I would take the bottle or paci away first. Have you tried to take either of those away before? If so, how did she handle that?

DS will be 3 years old in a couple of weeks and has only shown interest in potty training in the last few weeks. One morning he just woke up and told me he did not want his diapers anymore and that he wanted to wear underwear. We have been talking to him for awhile now about potty training and like your DD, he wanted nothing to do with it, but at the same time, diaper changes were always a struggle. I figured that we wouldn't force the issue and knew that he would eventually decide for himself.

Good luck with everything and try not to stress out about it too much.

[tinyblackdot]

Well we have never tried to take them away complelty, but we have tried to put water in her bottle, or to just tell her that we dont have any, and all hell breaks loose! She already has a hard time sleeping for some unknown reason, so im scared of what will happen if she wakes up for a bottle and she dosnt get one. Its how she get herself to sleep, she puts it under the covers like her baby.

Ok, maybe bottle first, and then diapers and then the paci. She only uses it at night when she is sleeping, so its not a huge deal. But the bottle needs to go first i think, she will have 2 or 3 through out the night and will wake up soaked through her diaper, so if we are going to pt that sure isnt going to help.

[liliaceae]

I agree, I'd try to get her off the bottle first and just forget about potty training for awhile. I don't really know about weaning off a bottle, but I guess I would just talk to her about tooth decay and cavities, and tell her that it's bad for her teeth to drink a bottle at night. It has the bonus of being true. You could try getting a book from the library about tooth decay.

[liliaceae]

Oh and maybe she doesn't sleep well *because* she gets a bottle at night. I know nightweaning usually results in longer stretches of sleep. Just make sure her belly is full before she goes to bed.

[lilmom]

I agree with doing it one step at a time. First thing I would do is do not buy any more pacis. When the ones she has get old, or lost, just don't buy anymore, and one day they will be gone.

We did this with DS and it worked. He didn't even fuss.

Bottles. I thought we'd never get him off the bottle. When he was a year old, we had sold our house and were temporarily moving to an apt. So we held off on getting rid of the bottle. Plus, I too could not BF. in my case I was extremely sick while pregnant with him and I had no milk. So, since this was his form of comfort I was so hesitant to take it away. So 3 months later we moved to another town. He was 15 months but we thought, after we move and he gets adjusted, we'll be rid of the bottle. But no. It took a long time for him to adjust to the move. And he was ready to be rid of it BEFORE we moved but I was too scared to do it before. SO fast forward to him being almost 2.5, and still on the bottle. We had tried getting rid of it, and like your DD he just was not having it. But finally we realized it wasn't going to ever get any easier. So we just got rid of them at a time when we knew if we had to be up all night, so be it. But it turned out ok. We just told him, there are no bottles. And he started saying "Go to store and get bottle!" But we told him there just weren't going to be any more. And he finally went to sleep. Then we were done! One night of drama. Totally worth it.

I have no advice on the potty training becuase right now he CAN do it, but he is refusing and we have tried everything so we are just hoping one day he will be ready and let us know. Sigh.

Good luck mama. Hang in there.

[tinyblackdot]

Well here is an update

DD did not have any accidents today! We tried a new thing where we go and sit on the potty and count together to 25 and then if she hasnt gone we get up, BUT she went every time! At one point she was kind of crossing her legs and hoping around and i asked her if she needed to go and she responded "no" of course, but i got her to go into the bathroom and try all on her own! I talked to her about how it takes alot longer for us to change her panties and clean up the wet spots than it does to just try to sit on the potty, she was sooooo proud of herself! Then while we where brushing our teeth i talked to her about how the bottles can make sores in her teeth and make her mouth hurt if we kept using them. I asked her if she thought we could try to sleep without a bottle and she seemed completely ok with it! Got into bed, and said she did not need a bottle because she was a big girl and was asleep in 10 minutes, which is unheard of! it usually takes about an hour to get her to sleep, maybe its the sugar in the milk?

great day mamas, thanks for your help so far!

[ledzepplon]

Originally Posted by liliaceae

Oh and maybe she doesn't sleep well *because* she gets a bottle at night. I know nightweaning usually results in longer stretches of sleep. Just make sure her belly is full before she goes to bed.

I was thinking the same thing. Once my kids weaned, they magically started sleeping through the night. It might be rough for a week or so, but I think it would help in the long-run to put an end to bottles at night. You might have a sippy cup of water available in case she says she's thirsty, but that probably won't be enough motivation for her to keep waking at night.

[lld]

Originally Posted by tinyblackdot

Well here is an update

DD did not have any accidents today! We tried a new thing where we go and sit on the potty and count together to 25 and then if she hasnt gone we get up, BUT she went every time! At one point she was kind of crossing her legs and hoping around and i asked her if she needed to go and she responded "no" of course, but i got her to go into the bathroom and try all on her own! I talked to her about how it takes alot longer for us to change her panties and clean up the wet spots than it does to just try to sit on the potty, she was sooooo proud of herself! Then while we where brushing our teeth i talked to her about how the bottles can make sores in her teeth and make her mouth hurt if we kept using them. I asked her if she thought we could try to sleep without a bottle and she seemed completely ok with it! Got into bed, and said she did not need a bottle because she was a big girl and was asleep in 10 minutes, which is unheard of! it usually takes about an hour to get her to sleep, maybe its the sugar in the milk?

great day mamas, thanks for your help so far!

I love it!!! I've found so many things I worried about were so much easier when they really happened! The only advice I have is stick with it! The next time may be hard and she might want her bottle back...know that it is developmentally appropriate for this to end now - provide her with love, support and encouragement but stay firm

[tinyblackdot]

Originally Posted by lld

I love it!!! I've found so many things I worried about were so much easier when they really happened! The only advice I have is stick with it! The next time may be hard and she might want her bottle back...know that it is developmentally appropriate for this to end now - provide her with love, support and encouragement but stay firm

Well we are battling one thing at a time here. We have gone about 8 days of no diapers with only a handful of accidents!!!! We are working on having water in sippy cups instead of bottles, but its a slow progress.

Thanks again for all of the support!