Originally Posted by Galatea
So back to my hypothetical woman above - if we hear her story in conversation (maybe she is a friend of a friend and we are hearing it third-hand and she is not present), then what should a NCB advocate say? D
Now what if this hypothetical woman is a poster here on MDC and she says, "I had to have a c-section b/c my baby was 9 lbs." Then what is okay to say? Now we have a statement that will live on the internet and be read by thousands of women, rather than just vanish into the air. This statement definitely has the potential to harm. What does the MDC member and NCB advocate say or do in this situation? Again, I am genuinely asking for solutions and advice from people on this thread.
If the answer to both these questions is that we say nothing in either situation, then I have to wonder if some people here would rather nothing be said in order to protect any mother from potential bad feelings. How is the NCB ever supposed to advocate for NCB, or at least, how we can do it without c-section mamas becoming angry, if we cannot address the risks and benefits of any given practice before and during birth?
There are two things people learn from - social stories, and authoritative reports.
re: Authoritative REports - The first thing to do is to work hard to get the flipside to the myths that *some* OBs and hospitals perpetuate out there. Get the authoritative reports going. And to do that means being willing to take science and medical research *seriously*, rather than treating it as the enemy. Want to build a culture where that cascade of interventions isn't a standard practice? Get real evidence-based stuff out there. No "Your body won't grow a baby it can't birth." Pull actual evidence on positioning, or pelvic openings, etc.
your hypotheticals, meanwhile, are social stories. The anecdotal evidence that so many people cling to. And the answer to that? Tell your own story
. Tell other stories that you know. Tell them without twisting the "I did it BETTER." Knife.
You're at someone's house and you hear that "Oh, you can't deliver a 9-pounder vaginally!" You say, "Hey, I had a 10-pounder and it wasn''t so bad! I didn't even need stitches! I think it's because I stayed upright in labor - I read someplace that squatting opens your pelvis up 40% more!"
The birth story on MDC where someone says they "needed" a c-section?
I still think the only answer to that is "What a beautiful baby! Heal fast and enjoy your babymoon!"
Further hypothetical: Someone on Birth and Beyond posts a question about delivering big babies. The *same* person mentioned above, who posted their birth story about the "necessary" section that you doubt was so necessary, posts to it, saying "Oh, my baby was 9 pounds and I just didn't progress for 6 hours...."
There, in a general discussion, you *do* share your experience and knowlege again. Don't quote the person to imply they're wrong. Don't use them as an example. But respond to the OP with your own experience. Build a library of *other* viewpoints for those future googlers to read. Don't judge, don't comment, just share your own testimony. Or if you want, refer to those alternate, NCB-supporting Authoritative Voices. "The one centimeter per hour rule is really quite arbitrary - women dilate at different rates, for example..."
But no, a sensitive, hormonal new mother who is still trying to find her way and get her bearings and establish breastfeeding does NOT need her birth story greeted with all the ways she screwed up. No way, no how.