Weekly chat - April 18

[Burnindinner]

All the baby shower excitement sounds so fun! Both bananabee's from yesterday and the upcoming ones scheduled.

So we just got home from the hospital. Went in yesterday for bleeding and they did a 24 hour observation plus steroid shots in case the babe comes early.

I'm really tired now, feeling weird because of the steroids and the disruption. I feel discouraged that the placenta won't be safely out of the way. I feel sad and frustrated that I can't keep up my house. I feel sad that I had to spend 24 hours away from my 17 month old DS.

I will have a follow up u/s in 2 weeks to see where the placenta is. I hope to go get an appt with my CNM tomorrow so she can tell me what the docs really said about it this weekend.

That is me. Self-focused, dramatic, and not too much fun. I could really use a hug! And a glass of wine, but I don't think that is a good idea with the steroids.

[*mama moose*]

oh mama I'm sorry Is there no chance it will move out of the way safely in time?? I'm sending all the "move placenta" vibes I can muster up to you! And some cheer up vibes too



We planted our garden today, FINALLY. I live in sunny CA so I could have planted way back in March but it kept getting put off further and further. We have 7 tomato plants (different types), some zucchini, yellow squash, snap beans, cucumber, and one jalapeno that my 4 year old apparently couldn't live without
We also: went to the farmers market, went to Lowe's, I cleaned the deck and outside table and chairs while DH mowed the lawn, went to the store to get some BBQ stuff for dinner, and then I made a berry cobbler that's currently in the oven.....and now I am EXHAUSTED!!! It was almost 80 degrees today too, and I kept getting so hot I felt like I couldn't breathe. I'm so so glad I'm not having a mid-summer baby again. Late May/Early June will be hot enough without going into July and August!!

[GoBecGo]

Aw, burnindinner to you hun! It must be so hard and discouraging having bleeding - i'm sending you lots of MOVE vibes too - is it not possible the bleeding is due to movement? I'm really hoping so.

We had a pretty quiet weekend. On Friday afternoon DH finished work on time (which is early - he often ends up staying later though!) and we went swimming with DD. I'm sooooo heavy now, the water is heaven, i'm actually still able to swim and move well in the pool. DD is getting really great in the water too, so it's always great fun. DH and I were talking in the water, trying to get our heads around the fact that we'll have another littly to swim with soon. I love my waterbaby, i hope this LO is as keen as their sister

Saturday we went for a long drive and poor DD was car sick! She hardly ever is but it was a real windy road. She was fine after she'd thrown up though, and given what she threw up was a raw carrot, a few bites of apple and a glass of water it was the least offensive mess i've ever had to clean up in the car! Just as well given i'm pregnant and a bit sensitive to all that! Afterwards we found a nice park with a place to eat and had late lunch with DD who behaved really well, then let her run about and play in the park for an hour or so. She went to her biodad's that night so DH and i went to the cinema and the seat was NOT comfy for my poor pregnant frame!

Sunday we went to the local DIY supermarket and bought paint for DH's study. We moved house in January and his study is currently purple-with-flowers - i cannot imagine the sort of person who would actively LIKE the decor in there! Of course because i'm so visibly pregnant everyone assumed we were getting paint for "the nursery" - we plan to co-sleep for around a year, then move babe in with its sister, so no nursery for us, but i wasn't going to the effort of explaining, so a lot of staff up there now think we're painting a nursery sage green!

That was it really for us - i had high hopes for knitting the baby something and for the garden (which i'm putting minimal veg in this year since i haven't seen it through a full turn of seasons yet, and it needs more preparatory work than i have effort for in my current state!) but none of that happened...lol

I'm 34 weeks tomorrow, and picked up some RLT on Saturday. Bit exciting but then again, still 6 weeks to go....

[Burnindinner]

I'm impressed with your garden, mama moose. We put in just 13 plants. We love to play with heirloom tomatoes, so we have 2 each of the usual - Cherokee Purple, German Johnson, and then we got Carbon and Cosmonaut Volkov. I just got that one for the name.

DS slept until 9 am today, so I'm feeling a little better emotionally today. The most confusing part of the weekend was that docs keep telling us different things. The OB residents said the placenta is 1 cm away from the cervix - so it had moved from 3 cm covering. Which is awesome. But the family med docs (In their practice trying to do parallel care with a CNM and then birth at home if this resolves) keep saying it was 1 cm covering. So I don't know what to hold out hope for now.

I think that it has a lot of time to move - I'm only 32 weeks. The trick is to not bleed so that we don't have to do an emergency delivery. There is no apparent reason for the bleeding, sometimes it just happens. I was glad there was not an abruption, though I had no pain of course.

I'm feeling - something - scared? Sad? All of it? DS's pgcy was a BREEZE and his delivery was textbook. Now I am doubting my intuition and what my body is doing. I am worried I'll be too scared to be at home, and I love it here! At least there will be plenty of time for both physical and emotional resolution.

[bananabee]

Burnindinner. I hope you get a clear answer soon. Having things up in the air is just not where you want to be at this point.

[*mama moose*]

Can I just post that I love my midwife?
I wrote on Facebook yesterday about what a crappy morning I was having, and that I've gained some extra weight and was frustrated about it. Well, this morning I got up to see she left this in my "comments" (yeah, we're FB buddies ) : "Pay more attention to loving your food and body and less attention to the scale " It made me smile!

[lisko15]

Burnindinner - I'm sure that wasn't a very fun day and I can only imagine how hard it is to stay low-key with your toddler DS. Just keep thinking only 8 weeks left... but I hope the placenta continues to move the right way in that time. But if not, that it doesn't move the wrong way!

Being in New York, we won't be planting our garden for a few more weeks. Its way too cold at night still. We had our first garden last year, and we learned some things about our yard and what grows/what doesn't (although last year was really wet and not the best for growing). I'm hoping we get a good turn out this year!

DD had a horrible tummy bug this weekend. For 24 hours she couldn't keep anything down, not even Sprite or ice chips. It was really sad and quite tiring for both of us. Now I'm just hoping I don't catch it. So far I feel fine... let's hope I stay that way!

She's off for spring break where we are... so this morning we went through some of the bags of hand-me-downs and picked out what I think will really fit Caleb this summer (and that's practical) so I can know what to wash and really put away. The rest can go in some totes and in the attic until September or so. That was fun!

Hope everyone else is doing good too!

[Burnindinner]

mama moose, i'm glad you are fb friends with your midwife. one thing i love about the midwifery model of care! i'm friends with my home birth midwife... and her proctor!

so i talked with the cnm earlier. i feel a lot better, just to talk it over with someone i know and trust, and who knows me. i don't think she said anything new, but i don't think i needed that.

she said the placenta is 1 cm away, not covering. which i guess makes it marginal instead of complete? not important. either way, she is checking to see how far it needs to be to be safe to birth at home, safe to birth vaginally at the hospital, or what. so now the trick is to avoid any major bleeds for about 4-5 weeks until he can safely be born closer to term. would really like to avoid any nicu stays if possible.

i think with the look of things and my own emotional state right now, i'm "planning" for a hospital birth, but if it turns out at 37 weeks that we are cleared for home birth, i would switch back to that. it is just easier to switch from hospital to home versus home to hospital suddenly, you know?

[at_the_hip]

Burnindinner - wow so sorry to hear that you had to spend 24 hrs in the hospital, steroid shots and all! It must have been so tough to be away from your little guy. I hate being away from my 22-mo-old. :*(

I did some gardening too...the front area of our townhouse looks so pretty now. I'm partial to purple so that is my theme. I bought a new hanging basket with pretty purple daisies that brings me cheer. Now I have the back patio garden to clean up and plant!

I finally went to our backup hospital to register in case of transfer...and wouldnt you know that my midwife was there delivering someone! It was so great to run into her and get a good squeeze. She is a sweetheart!!

I also managed to order all of my birth supplies so those should be here in the next week or so! Things are coming together and I just can't believe that we have only a couple months left.

I had a checkout girl ask me how many DAYS I have to go...LOL I was just like Ummm...like 2 MONTHS! Yes I have a huge belly. I love it though! I am feeling quite bruised from this little mover though...so sore today!!

[Pinoikoi]

wow, burnindinner, that is a lot.

In other news today is my birthday! I will have some paypal to spend- what should I get?

[Burnindinner]

Happy birthday!!! Man, you can use paypal on Etsy right? And several of the cloth diaper makers I luuuuuve take it too. I am no help...

[SeattleRain]

Yesterday I went over to a friends house and looked through her bins of baby clothes and got 2 big bins of clothes, especially for the beginning. It's really nice to be able to save a little money on that stuff. Especially since it seems like babies aren't really in that teeny size for all that long. I'd rather not get stuck with a million outfits the baby will never really wear. Now I just need to rewash them, fold them and put them in the dresser... oh yeah, and clean out the dresser

I've been really nesty lately. We don't plan on cosleeping, so I'm trying to figure out what I want to put in our bedroom for baby. My MIL is buying a crib for us, so we're going to put that in the nursery for now, but the baby will sleep in our room for the first few months. I was just going to get a pack and play, but now I'm thinking the baby might like a tighter womb-like experience like a bassinet or a cradle, so I'm looking into those options. I really like the look of a cradle, but i don't know if its practical or anything. I've been looking at some on Craigslist that look like a good idea.

[Burnindinner]

I liked a co-sleeper for Micah, but we did end up just bedsharing and I really used it for storage. So obviously I'm not sure how relevant my experience is to you.

Got our state tax refund today. Vastly improved my mood!

[Aka mommy]

We have always co-slept and i'm betting that's how this one will end up but i'm getting the pack n play with the sleeper thing in it, its very cozy and papasan like. But the main reason for getting it, is for the changing table part lol.

We've decided to stay here in this TINY apartment so i'm starting to also get nesty. I'm feeling panic actually about getting everything done. And my biggest mommy guilt, realizing that out of needs we have to move our girls out of our room. It's literally breaking my heart. But we see no way around it. Our bedroom is TINY (10'by 11') and we have an olympic queen, a toddler bed and a nightstand barely squeezed into it. And there is no room for a newborn or my dh currently, so it's just been me and the girls sleeping in there. So we will have to get the sleigh/trundle bed out of storage and set up their play/school room as a real bedroom. Makes me want to cry. I LOVE sleeping next to my 4 year old and she loves it even more. No one understands when i talk about it, everyone things that 6.5 and 4.5 are old enough to be in their own room and brush it off as no big deal. But its a huge deal to me. Darn hormones. But it's the only way we can stay here, and honestly we need to save the money instead of upsizing to a bigger house/bigger rent.

So i told dh we have 4 weeks to get the apartment streamlined and all the baby stuff set up to where i dont feel so cluttered here!

Sunday is my 30th bday and saturday is the baby shower. After the shower we are going to have a family bbq (2 sisters andtheir kids are coming in from out of town) and we will celebrate my bday. Sunday my parents are going to come to church with us (we go to different congregations) and then out to lunch afterwards. I have to admit, originally i was really bummed to be spending my 30th bday big huge pregnant and feeling so fat. But i'm kind of excited for the festitivies this weekend.

I'm so envious of all you gardners. I tell dh i have a brown thumb lol!

[*mama moose*]

I'm GBS negative! Woo hoo!!
So now, do I do the stretch/sweep at 37 weeks or not? My BP is still in the very good range, but I have gotten a few higher readings.....I'm so nervous because there's been a few people in the May DDC who had good BP all along and are now suddenly on bedrest because of high BP and swelling I don't remember how many weeks I was when mine shot up last time, but it wasn't "risking out" numbers (I think it was 150/100 that day) until 40+5, and then it was fine again when they took it at the hospital, so I went home and had a baby. I so so so desperately don't want to risk out. But I so so so don't want to mess around with nature either, you know? blah!

[Burnindinner]

mama moose, what does your mw say? Are you drinking RRL tea and taking EPO? Could you do internal EPO too?

Aka mommy, sounds like a nice weekend you have planned there!

I am feeling soooo much better today. I got to talk to my home birth midwife for a while. I am more rested, DS is starting to regulate a little bit, and I got some time by myself this morning (crucial for an introvert). I had been really worried that my home birth midwife would maybe have a conflicting opinion or something, but she confirmed everything I'd talked about so far with the nurse midwife.

I think today I'm good with hoping for home birth but being at peace with hospital birth, and knowing that if something goes down unexpectedly in the next few weeks it might be a c-section. Hope I can continue in this place.

[*mama moose*]

burnindinner- I really really really hope you get your homebirth I'm so glad you can be at peace with whatever needs to happen though, that is so key to a good birth experience, and a good rest of your pregnancy.

That's how I felt last time with the blood pressure (minus the at peace with everything part ), I had to basically plan a backup plan because I was right on that line of risking out for weeks, and it sucked. That's why it's weighing so heavily on my mind this time, I don't want to go through that again
I haven't really talked to her about it since last visit, I called her today to ask her about valerian root (I've been taking it every night in order to sleep and I wanted to make sure that was ok!) and she told me my GBS was negative, and then we chit chatted about kids and such and got off the phone. I've been a slacker on RRL tea, I should start that again. I'm going to do EPO again, I did it last time, who knows if it helped but it made me feel better I did both with DD2, and Cotton Root tincture, and she was born at 40 weeks 6 days, and I think I actually had a stretch/sweep before going to the hospital at 40+5, where I went into early labor and then was sent home (luckily, I'm still shocked they let me walk out of there!)
I guess I'll talk to her about it all next week, she's good at calming my fears. I feel so hypocritical because I'm all about trusting your body and trusting birth and trusting your baby's timeline, but I'm terrified that my body is going to "betray" me on this blood pressure thing and I'm going to end up in a hospital hooked up to Pit like I was with DD1.
And I tell myself over and over that that will not happen again because it was a totally different situation, I am more educated, I have more tools at hand, I have a VASTLY better care provider.....but the birth trauma keeps coming up in this fear. And part of it is justified because 2 out of 3 pregnancies HAVE ended with me getting PIH, so I should be on the lookout in this 3rd pregnancy, but part of it is just plain ol' fear.
So I guess my qualms with any "interventions" done with my midwife are this: am I doing this for a real, justifiable reason where the benefits outweigh the risks (or it is the lesser of two evils, meaning, is this keeping me away from a hospital induction), or am I doing this out of fear and taking risks where there are no clear benefits?? And I don't know the answer and it's driving me crazy. (if you couldn't tell by me blabbering on about it forever)....

[Burnindinner]

Is there a way to really look at a risk/benefit assessment? But a lot of it is going to be your own value call - is it "worse" to be at the hospital or "worse" to force an early labor, for example? I'm not sure a study can reassure you, or us here on MDC. But we can always help you "talk" it out.

I think we have to do the most realistic assessment we can, and then make the best decision we can with the information that we have at the time.

[azdaisy]

Everyone sounds so busy! :-) I am looking forward to the shower this weekend. My mom and a friend from out-of-town are flying in on Friday, and the shower is Saturday morning. With DS, he was actually born the day of the shower, so we kind of missed out on this ritual last time around.

I have been really busy with work, plus a temporary part-time job, so I am looking forward to that calming down. Our crazy dog must have eaten something in the yard yesterday, so we are headed out to take the dog to the vet very soon. A big pregnant woman with a 3yo and a crazy/hacking/butt-dragging pug in tow are sure to be a sight!

[GoBecGo]

Burnindinner - i hope you get your HB too, but my mum/brother were nearly a praevia disaster so i'm really glad you have access to other kinds of care should you need it. I'm sitting here thinking about how far from the cervix your placenta is (at least a mile in my mind's eye ).

*mama moose* - pinch of salt with this please.... I had high BP with DD. I've no idea if they dx it as PIH, as i never had edema and my bloods were always fine (in retrospect it was probably undiagnosed thyroid craziness plus crappy relationship causing massive stress which was causing it), but it did get high (as in 152/109 once in daycare) but i still got a HB because they could see that however high it got the baby and i were fine and my readings were always more rational when i was at home. I had five (5!) stretch and sweeps starting at 39+6. I had DD at 41+4 and honestly the only difference i felt those stretches and sweeps made were that my waters ruptured before labour began, which put me on a whole other set of protocols and clock-watching and i ended up feeling lucky to avoid the chemical induction they would have gone to if i'd not gone into labour myself. This time, whatever my BP is doing, i'm going to try to avoid sweeps altogether unless i have something crazy like a week of painful prodomal labour and no progress or something. I have been unable to find any information on them suggesting they can hasten labour by more than 12 hours, and i'm sure in many of those labours the risks of PROM and potentially beginning a labour which wasn't quite ready to kick off would outweigh any they could avoid. I would basically avoid inducing intervention unless you're willing to go on right down that route and be induced, PIH or not. It's just my 2c and i definitely think you should ask your MW's/Ob's about their thoughts on it too, and maybe ask them to send you some stuff to read before you make any firm decisions. I suppose i believe that intervention has its place when needed, and you don't need to intervene "in case" - IF your bp actually begins to look concerning, and you're facing induction anyway, you can always change your mind, yk?

All this talk about showers has me green - here in the UK we don't have showers. Lots of people have bought me stuff, but we don't have the whole shower culture at all. Life is getting a bit Real now, as a lot of things which i'd not been thinking about because they weren't happening until i was practically at term are all beginning to happen (like a theatre show a friend is acting in, which is suddenly next Friday! And the 10k in 2weeks!). Ladies we are getting our BABIES soon!