They are tag-teaming us

[tsfairy]

My kids have forgotten how to go to sleep and stay asleep. Right now they're both wide awake and hungry. It'll be at least another hour before I can get them to sleep, and they'll both be up by 7am, 8 at the absolute latest. The sun wakes them regardless of what time they went to bed. They don't get enough sleep and I'm not getting enough sleep. Hubby is home with them all day and isn't getting any downtime, and he's not getting enough sleep either.

They're 2 and 4. They're both going through growth spurts and eat nonstop all.day.long. They're both healthy, no major sinus probs or ear infections.

Last night I actually got them both into bed and asleep by 8:30 or so. DS1 was up at 11, wide awake and asking for a glass of milk, and then something to eat. He finally fell back to sleep sometime around 1:30. DS2 was up nursing by around 6:30 and out of bed and demanding that I "get up!" by 7.

This is on the heels of DS2's little stunt the other day, where he didn't go to sleep until around 10pm, and was up for the day at 4am!!

The kids are tired and cranky all day but they just won't sleep!

We've tried melatonin. It worked for a while. It was like a miracle actually. But now it does nothing.

Routine - dinner, downtime, bath and/or pjs, stories in bed, lights out. Sometimes they pass right out, but it's hit or miss whether one or both of them will stay asleep. More often, one will go to sleep, but the other will persistently refuse for up to several hours. I really never know which will be the one to sleep and who will stay up, but more often my 2yo (who used to be an amazing sleeper!) will be the one to stay up.

They've both slept through the night for ages, so when they wake up, it's morning to them, regardless of the hour. DS1 has always had sleep problems, but this is new for DS2.

Please help me sort this out. DH and I are both at our wits' end.

[One_Girl]

If they are going through a growth spurt then I think you should add in a night time snack, even if dinner was just an hour before. That may help with the waking hungry. When my dd woke to eat I would give her a snack, but I wouldn't engage her in any conversation. Once the snack was over I sent her back to bed and didn't treat the routine like the bedtime routine.

Some relaxation techniques may work for getting relaxed enough for bed. I used to walk my dd through tightening and relaxing her toes, then toes and leg, then slowly moving up to include her whole body. Once my dd was past the baby stage, I had no problem with allowing her to lie in the dark without being asleep, so I don't treat bedtime as something I have to work at. It helped that we were in the same room though. Once I am done reading stories the lights go out and I go to bed or leave the room to do something in the living room and I don't get out of bed until morning unless I hear vomiting or a night terror.

[tsfairy]

Great idea on the snack. It usually is 2 hrs or so past dinner by the time the kids fall asleep so that might help.

We all sleep in the same room. Same big bed actually. That's part of the problem sometimes, when one kid either keeps the other up or wakes his brother.

I have no problem with the kids lying in the dark awake, if that's what they'd do. Unfortunately I'd have to tie them to the bed to make that happen. If they're awake, they're up, either talking up a storm (my 2yo's favorite is "I don't know HOW to go to sleep!") or wandering the house. They both have a huge problem staying in bed and being still long enough to actually fall asleep, even if they're exhausted.

The other problem is that I can't sleep when there's a kid awake and I'm in charge. So if DH is asleep, my brain just won't shut off unless both kids are asleep. So even if they would just lie in bed and read or something, I still can't fall asleep. It's very frustrating for me.

[pauletoy]

I personally would give them a snack right before bedtime. If they wake up during the night saying they are hungry, I would remind them that they had snack before bed and they could have breakfast as soon as the sun comes up. They should both be capable of making it through the night without eating, especially the 4 year old. I also would not allow them out of bed except to go to the bathroom after they have been put down for the night. Basically you need to make it so boring for them when they wake up that they eventually don't have an incentive to wake up anymore.

It sounds like the situation is not working for any of you, so it's time to make a change.