So my son is 14 and is in 8th grade. He is a social butterfly to say the least. He has many friends and in the past year has discovered that the girls he saw as friends could be girl friends. So he has had a few "girl friends" but they never lasted more than a couple weeks and he never went on dates with them.
Well now he has a girl friend and it is moving way faster than we ever expected. He met her through another friend and every time he went to the other friend's house this girl would too. We are just now figuring this out.
Well he asked if she could come over and watch a movie with him in his room. We have a projector, so he thought he would project the movie and they would sit on his bed and watch it. We said she could come over, but they would have to watch it in the living room. They did, but it was a movie not appropriate for our 4 younger children, so even though we were checking on them, there were moments when they were alone.
So there they are laying next to each other on the couch. After the movie i told them that they need to go outside. That was when I noticed the hicky on my sons next!!! Oh boy I flipped out!
I sat the 2 of them down and told them both that that can not happen again. DS goes to a Catholic school he can't have that showing. Hickies (how do you spell this word?) are slutty and trashy. That they were both better than that. Hickies also were like putting a sticker on yourself that you are owned and this is wrong. Well you get the picture. It went on for a few minutes and I was not nice. I did end that i wanted to get to know her, but that the 2 of them had to be with other people at all times.
Well ds has so unhappy when she left. He says I don't trust him, that I made her cry and that I ended his social life.
Later we went into talk with ds. he was in the bathroom. dh looked on his computer and ds was chatting with girl friend. She said she was very upset and that I was a C**T. She went on to say some other things as well about me.
We had to have another conversation with ds about the fact that a girl friend should not be calling your mother such awful words. All she is doing by using those words is confirming our opinion of her.
Back ground: this girl is the youngest and has 2 much older sisters. My ds is our oldest in the family and so is setting the example for younger sibs.
On the one hand:
Well I feel awful and know I did not say the right things. I am afraid that i may have ruined our relationship.
On the other hand:
Dh and i agree that we are a lot more conservative then we ever thought. We think that girls are a distraction for ds and could lead to a bad place. He is such a great kid, we need to protect him. We don't think that the way they were touching and kissing each other is appropriate at this point. We need to set up better rules.
So there it is. sorry it is so long.
Well now he has a girl friend and it is moving way faster than we ever expected. He met her through another friend and every time he went to the other friend's house this girl would too. We are just now figuring this out.
Well he asked if she could come over and watch a movie with him in his room. We have a projector, so he thought he would project the movie and they would sit on his bed and watch it. We said she could come over, but they would have to watch it in the living room. They did, but it was a movie not appropriate for our 4 younger children, so even though we were checking on them, there were moments when they were alone.
So there they are laying next to each other on the couch. After the movie i told them that they need to go outside. That was when I noticed the hicky on my sons next!!! Oh boy I flipped out!
I sat the 2 of them down and told them both that that can not happen again. DS goes to a Catholic school he can't have that showing. Hickies (how do you spell this word?) are slutty and trashy. That they were both better than that. Hickies also were like putting a sticker on yourself that you are owned and this is wrong. Well you get the picture. It went on for a few minutes and I was not nice. I did end that i wanted to get to know her, but that the 2 of them had to be with other people at all times.
Well ds has so unhappy when she left. He says I don't trust him, that I made her cry and that I ended his social life.
Later we went into talk with ds. he was in the bathroom. dh looked on his computer and ds was chatting with girl friend. She said she was very upset and that I was a C**T. She went on to say some other things as well about me.
We had to have another conversation with ds about the fact that a girl friend should not be calling your mother such awful words. All she is doing by using those words is confirming our opinion of her.
Back ground: this girl is the youngest and has 2 much older sisters. My ds is our oldest in the family and so is setting the example for younger sibs.
On the one hand:
Well I feel awful and know I did not say the right things. I am afraid that i may have ruined our relationship.
On the other hand:
Dh and i agree that we are a lot more conservative then we ever thought. We think that girls are a distraction for ds and could lead to a bad place. He is such a great kid, we need to protect him. We don't think that the way they were touching and kissing each other is appropriate at this point. We need to set up better rules.
So there it is. sorry it is so long.
Needless to say I never came home with one or even a temporary or pen. I never had a hickey either..minus the one you give yourself on the hand lol.
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