So I'm doing the Dave Ramsey pay off your debt plan at the moment, and it's really making me wonder about values, choices etc. This is kind of a vent/brainstorm, I'd be interested in other's insights.
Good points:
-We are on top of our budget & really, truly understand it.
-We are paying down debt quickly, which is a very good place to be.
-We are finally learning how to responsibly manage our money
Hard points:
-In order to get enough $$ to make a serious attempt at paying down debt, we have made some major changes:
-I have gone back to work full time, 5 days a week, after 15 months of working 4 days per week & having 1 day a week to spend with my girls. I am really, really miserable about this. I hate it. But it is bringing in an extra $500 per month or more (because of holiday pay etc.) which is pretty hard to argue with right now.
-My dp is taking care of two extra kids 2 days per week. Again this is bringing in close to $500 per month in extra money, which is hard to argue with. Also it's helping out a friend big time, who was in a real childcare bind. But this is very stressful for dp and especially for our oldest dd, an anxious, high needs 5 yo who does not adapt well to change. Our younger dd, age 2, is a happy go lucky, social little thing who generally enjoys having other kids around.
Both of these things are hard on dd1 who really notices my increased hours & really struggles with the 4 yo girl who comes 2 days per week (she's a lovely kid, but for many reasons they are not very compatible). And I feel like kind of a crappy parent right now, making my kids pay for dp & my previous financial irresponsibility--they don't really care about any of the stuff we have or don't have, obviously.
We've always prioritized our kids & our family time, even when that has meant less money. But it's now clear that this was unsustainable, that even cutting way back on extra spending (we never eat out, never take big vacations etc.) was not enough to make ends meet, especially with dd2 having major food sensitivities which has pushed our grocery budget way up. The answer is clear, but I'm really struggling with the reality of it right now....
Good points:
-We are on top of our budget & really, truly understand it.
-We are paying down debt quickly, which is a very good place to be.
-We are finally learning how to responsibly manage our money
Hard points:
-In order to get enough $$ to make a serious attempt at paying down debt, we have made some major changes:
-I have gone back to work full time, 5 days a week, after 15 months of working 4 days per week & having 1 day a week to spend with my girls. I am really, really miserable about this. I hate it. But it is bringing in an extra $500 per month or more (because of holiday pay etc.) which is pretty hard to argue with right now.
-My dp is taking care of two extra kids 2 days per week. Again this is bringing in close to $500 per month in extra money, which is hard to argue with. Also it's helping out a friend big time, who was in a real childcare bind. But this is very stressful for dp and especially for our oldest dd, an anxious, high needs 5 yo who does not adapt well to change. Our younger dd, age 2, is a happy go lucky, social little thing who generally enjoys having other kids around.
Both of these things are hard on dd1 who really notices my increased hours & really struggles with the 4 yo girl who comes 2 days per week (she's a lovely kid, but for many reasons they are not very compatible). And I feel like kind of a crappy parent right now, making my kids pay for dp & my previous financial irresponsibility--they don't really care about any of the stuff we have or don't have, obviously.
We've always prioritized our kids & our family time, even when that has meant less money. But it's now clear that this was unsustainable, that even cutting way back on extra spending (we never eat out, never take big vacations etc.) was not enough to make ends meet, especially with dd2 having major food sensitivities which has pushed our grocery budget way up. The answer is clear, but I'm really struggling with the reality of it right now....
. The other issue is that we moved two years ago to a cheaper house, a lower col area, with the idea that I would be able to work part-time (4 days per week) while dp stayed home. We crunched the numbers and it seemed to work. But what is now clear to both of us is that we are terrible budgeters and had failed to take into account a number of once a year expenses like property tax, Christmas etc.
We made the same choice. No, we don't put a desire to have lots of clothes or DVDs or consumer electronics or nice cars first - paying down our debt is prioritized over those. But keeping DD home and not sending her to daycare? Arranging our lives so we are together and see each other more than a few hours a week? Yes, we put that first. But even then, we CAN make that choice, unfortunately not everyone can.
