So, I typed this all up about 2 weeks PP but then my computer erased the whole thing and I haven't had the energy to retype it until now. But now I have the midwife notes so this one will probably be more accurate anyway.
My pregnancy was really very easy even though I kind of disliked being pregnant in general. I was really active throughout, did Bikram yoga up until the week before she was born, ate well, didn't gain much weight or swell or have any of the common issues. Now that I know what a wonderful result you get from being pregnant, I'm a bit more positive about doing it again (or maybe that's just the lovey-dovey baby hormones talking!). As uneventful as my pregnancy was, our life was in some crazy turmoil. A week after we found out I was pregnant, my husband got laid off and we got used to the idea of leaving the town we'd just moved to 9 months prior. Meanwhile, I had found a great midwife practice and started seeing them... I loved my midwife so much so I was really sad that we wouldn't be completing the pregnancy with her.
My husband was pursuing two jobs in another town, so I started calling midwife practices to try and get in there. Unfortunately, Montreal happens to have waaay too few midwives for the population, but I was lucky to want a homebirth, and already being followed by midwives so the newest practice in town tried really hard to get me a spot and finally were able to. At about 25 weeks, we moved.
Fastforward 10 weeks... We had a busy weekend planned. Being terrible procrastinators, we figured that 35 1/2 weeks was really far enough to be completely unprepared for the baby, so we were planning to paint her room, do our pregnancy pics, and pick up some supplies for her. However, that Saturday I felt really out of it. I had a bit of a backache and just felt off. Around 11am, I went to the bathroom and wiped away my mucous plug. There wasn't any blood, it was just goo. A few minutes later, I realized I'd peed myself a little. woops! About 1/2 hour later, there were more drops of urine in my underwear. Wow, so this was the incontinence of late pregnancy... lovely. I kept on trying to squeeze my bladder empty, but I kept leaking. So I decided to actually try and get something productive done and went out to buy fabric to make a baby wrap and the paint. This was about 3 pm? (I love how in denial I was... there was a nagging little thought in my head that this was obviously my water, but I ignored it). About halfway through my trip, I realized I really really needed to get home. My husband was still out buying supplies for our photo shoot, so I just lay on the couch, leaking away. When he got home, I was getting a little worried, but still didn't say anything, until I got up to use the bathroom and realized my underwear was soaked. I sent him out for pads, and went and sat on the toilet, my head spinning.
Finally, around 9pm, I couldn't really deny it anymore... I was soaking everything I sat on, and feeling odder and odder. I called my midwife, but I guess I downplayed my concerns pretty well, because she wanted to finish up some errands, and didn't arrive until after 10. My husband started running around cleaning up the house and throwing things in the laundry. I thought that we would probably be spending the night at home waiting for my contractions to start, and was privately freaking out about how early I was, and what my chances were to have to be induced if labour didn't start in the next couple of days.
At this point I absolutely knew it was my water and the midwife didn't even have to check the fluid... she saw how much there was and told us she'd have to consult with a pediatrician about the baby's maturity... she got all the files out on my pregnancy and got on the phone with the hospital.
Meanwhile, I had my first contraction. I don't know if the back pain I'd had all day were actually contractions, but this was not a gentle contraction. This was a full on, knock-my-socks-off, for real contraction. But they felt pretty good and after feeling out of control and overwhelmed by the first two, I recovered and moaned deeply through them. I lose about an hour here, because the midwife's notes say she was on the phone for that long, but it seemed like right after my first couple of contractions, she came in to talk to us. Basically, we could choose to give birth at home, since there weren't any immediate concerns about the baby or me. However, the likelihood was that we'd have to transfer some time after the delivery if the baby had any issues. Given that, and how unprepared we were for a homebirth at that point, we chose to transfer. Here I lose a couple more hours. I know we packed a couple bags and called an ambulance (we don't own a car), but my contractions were steady and strong and I really needed to focus during them. My midwife's notes say that they were every 2 min and at an intensity of 4 (4 is the highest number on their little charts). The paramedics showed up and were pretty hilarious. They really wanted to put me on a stretcher, but I refused and walked down the 4 flights of steps of our apartment building. Being strapped down in the ambulance was torture though! Here my contractions got bad and I was probably making a whole ton of noise.
At 2 am we were finally in our hospital room. There was absolutely no one on our floor, and my midwife was in charge of my delivery, so we didn't have any nurses or anyone bugging us. I remember yelling at my husband to take down the clock cause I didn't want to know what time it was. I remember yelling a lot for the tub too, but apparently that wasn't actually until much later. All I know was that the contractions were crazy strong, and that my husband was amazing. He really kept me together throughout the whole thing. Once in a while I would lose it, and he would pull me back. Yoga breathing and deep sounds were really helpful. I think I was on the bed for a while, and I know the midwife tried to check me at one point, but couldn't find my cervix before it hurt too badly and I kicked her out. I had terrible heartburn throughout this too. The last thing I ate before labour started was hummus and celery sticks, and I had burning hummus-y burps all night long. Someone went to find me some Tums, but all the pharmacies were closed (apparently hospitals don’t have 24hr pharmacies!).
Because of the prematurity and because I'd never had a chance to do my GBS test, I consented to antibiotics. This was hands down the worst decision ever. The IV wouldn't stay in, and they had to mangle both veins before they got it working (apparently a new IV dispenser or something). This seriously hampered my progress, because the non-working IV was in for about 30 min before they realized it wasn't working, and it HURT. The whole thing was just really distracting and painful. FINALLY, they were done, and I was only at 4 cm dilated (well, duh... of course I couldn't relax during all that!) at 4 am. After the IV was out, we got back to business and the contractions were heating up.
By 6 am I was in the tub, which was across the hall in another room, but blissfully quiet and dark. The tub was really interesting to me, since I had been planning to give birth in the tub at home, and I wasn’t sure how much I’d like it. It wasn’t exactly a cure-all, but it melted away all the pains and aches in the rest of my body, including my back and really helped me relax into my contractions. I was on my hands and knees with the midwife dozing next to me, just breathing and burping away. I remembered what the midwife had said at our birth class- that every contraction you get through is one down. I just kept on telling myself that it would be over in a few seconds and then I wouldn’t have to do that one again. Suddenly I started feeling pushy. I tried bearing down a few times, just to test it out. It was a nice distraction from the contractions. I guess my midwife heard the change, and so I got out and went back to the room.
I’m not sure how I ended up on my side in bed, except I was really cold after getting out of the tub, so maybe I was trying to warm up? Anyway, somehow I ended up trying to push like this for AGES. It was terrible, but I couldn’t really collect myself to get off my side and into another position. Finally, one of the midwives suggested I try something else. They got me an exercise ball and I pushed on my knees leaning on that. Pushing felt unpleasant still and a bit forced, but slowly the urge got stronger and it felt more and more “right.” Then I got up and sat on the toilet and pushed for a bit there, holding on to my husband’s legs and making a general racket.
Meanwhile, the midwives were setting up the birthing stool in the room. I was so glad that my midwife remembered I had mentioned wanting to use a birthing stool if I didn’t get a tub. Finally I felt like my pushes were getting somewhere, but oh my god, if someone had walked up to me at that point and told me I could just leave everything behind and walk away, I totally would have. Pushing hurt so badly. I could tell that I was tearing, but I didn’t know how to stop it, because I just wanted it to be over. Everyone kept telling me that they could see the head and how I was almost done, so I just pushed with all my might and her head popped out. My husband was practically in tears at this point, which I registered in the back of my head, but I was really surprised that everything hurt just as badly with her head out. Finally, her body came out with a rush and everything stopped hurting. My husband was completely in awe, I really loved the look on his face at that moment. T. was 5’10” and tiny and slippery. Pushing took 2 hours… and it somehow felt longer and shorter than that!
The rest of the story involves a 10 day stay in the NICU and I’m not quite ready to talk about it yet. Lots of things went down that I’m not 100% ok with… maybe I’ll come post it later. Suffice it to say we’re all home and healthy now.
Edited by SilverFish - 11/28/11 at 4:35pm
