3 yo - keep him where he's happy or move to Montessori?

[monkeybum]

I can't decide whether to move my 3yo from his current daycare, (which is just that - a daycare, very little educational component) or move him to the Montessori program my older son attended.

He has been at his current daycare since he was 11 months old and had the same teachers. I LOVE his teachers, and they love him, he loves them. He loves going and has some good friends there. They teach him a few things, like how to write his name, use scissors, etc. But other than that it's mostly "fun" stuff like playing, (though they do neat stuff every day, cooking or science experiments, etc. and they go outside a lot).

The Montessori program on the other hand is very structured and academic with a short 20 minute recess and no "play" time. They have to complete their printing, math, metal insets and "projects" (like geography etc.) before they can do the "fun" montessori stuff like the practical life stuff.

I do believe that a solid academic foundation is really important and that from 3-5 they really are ripe for learning. My older son went to the Montessori program and has excelled incredibly academically. Now he's going to grade one in public school with an amazing foundation and lots of confidence. He doesn't particularly like going to the Montessori program as he says it's hard work and he just wants to "play", and I sometimes regret moving him from his friends, but I'm so happy with how much he's learned.

For financial reasons we'd probably only do Montessori for a year, then start my younger son in public school. Do you think it's worth moving him to the Montessori school for just a year, only to move him again the year after? Is learning that important or am I better to leave him where he's happy with friends and caregivers he loves to see every day...

Hmmm. Thoughts?

Price is the same.

[BCFD]

Ohhhh...I was saying yes until the last paragraph. I'm a Montessori Mom, so just know my opinion is a little biased. If he is going to be moving on to a public school (non Montessori), is happy where he is, and you love the teachers....I say leave him. Now, if he was going to be moving on to a Montessori school for 1st grade (or a public Montessori charter school), I would say the time is now to move him to a Montessori program 3-6 (Children's House). Would you leave him in Montessori for the full 3-6 program? If the answer is yes, then I would go back to my original thought and say that YES you should move him to lay that great foundation for 1st grade public school.

Although, be prepared that he might be doing static and dynamic addition, subtraction, and multiplication/division in a Montessori kindy program and then not be challenged in a public school program. I'm not really sure what public 1st grade programs are teaching though.

Good luck on making your decision!

[kittykat2481]

I'm also a Montessori mama so I came here prepared to say move him. However, after reading your post, I'm not sure how I feel about the Montessori school in question. For many reasons, the practical life works are just as important, if not more so, than the other more "academic" works at this age. I really question a school that forces certain work before others, in an environment where we're supposed to follow the child, not lead him. If he's happy where he is, and cooking, doing science experiments, playing outside, being read to and sung to... and we're only talking about 1 year here... I say just leave him. I think where he is may very well be better than where you would move him to.

[eepster]

We do Montessori and I usually would say it is worth it.

However, this

Originally Posted by monkeybum

The Montessori program on the other hand is very structured and academic with a short 20 minute recess and no "play" time. They have to complete their printing, math, metal insets and "projects" (like geography etc.) before they can do the "fun" montessori stuff like the practical life stuff.

does not sound very Montessori.

It sounds like the school has the material, but didn't bother to learn a single thing about the philosophy. To begin with, the "fun" practical life works are generally introduced before the more obviously academic works. Those fun water pouring activities and bean tweezering works build the fine motor skills needed to do printing and such.

By requiring that students complete the obviously academic works before they can do "fun" works, they are saying to the students that academics have less intrinsic value and will only appeal if there is a reward. One of the most wonderful things about true Montessori is that b/c the academics are freely chosen by the students, the student love to do them. My DS asks to do math at home all the time, he loves it.

Though a good Montessori program is worth going to a fair amount of trouble for, a good play based program is 20 times better than a pseudo-montessori forced early academic school. I'd let him stay where he is happy, has bonds with his teachers and made friends.

[SomedayMom]

I would ditto everyone else. I am also a Montessori mom and my instinct would be to move him. But I also do not like the sound of that Montessori school, it doesn't sound very Montessori to me. So, with all that info, I'd leave him where he is.

[emilysmama]

My dd and a child her same age (a boy), spent years at the same daycare, starting from when they were babies. Then at age three, I think, the boy left the daycare and went to Montessori for preschool. I don't know what the boy did in Montessori, but I know that my dd had almost all play-based, but there was some attempt to teach my dd simple letters, phonics and that kind of stuff. In fact, the day care teachers told me that they worked very hard to make sure the learning activities were activities that the children thought of as fun, instead of academic.

During four-year old preschool, the boy could read chapter books and do complicated computations. My dd could not yet read, and could only add or subtract single digit numbers involving yummy Chinese dumplings, but I was more than happy with that. When it was time for kindergarten, both my dd and the boy entered the same gifted public magnet school. However, on the first day of kindergarten, the boy became a first grader. His parents seem to be satisfied with his progress in school. I am extremely happy with my dd's progress in school. Among other things, in the first two months of school, my dd had a reading explosion and went from not reading to reading very well very quickly.

Just a long way of saying, no matter what you choose, I think you will be fine.

[mattemma04]

I would go with what makes your child happy.My ds only got in a half year of primary,but the practical life part was fun.He could even paint all day if that is what he wanted to do.Not sure I would want a strict M school like the one you are considering. I am more into the play than early learning.My ds is now doing well very in lower el,and is really good at math.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by monkeybum

The Montessori program on the other hand is very structured and academic with a short 20 minute recess and no "play" time. They have to complete their printing, math, metal insets and "projects" (like geography etc.) before they can do the "fun" montessori stuff like the practical life stuff.

So the "Montessori" school you're considering doesn't follow Montessori philosophy?

Ugh, the more I think about it, the worse the school sounds. They're not only limiting developmentally appropriate activities, they're making the other work seem like they aren't worth enjoying in their own right.

The message is "we don't think you'd like to do these things without a reward." Also "school is a place to do unfun things in order to do fun things."

ETA: Er, to Eepster.

[MerriMom]

Even if the Montessori school followed the Montessori philosophy, I would have suggested your son stay in his current program. Two school transitions in one year for a little kid sounds like a lot. I would skip one if at all possible. Hearing about the Montessori program only makes my recommendation stronger.

Good luck. I hope your son is very happy wherever he goes to school!

[One_Girl]

I think that if you were going to start him in a Montessori program that you should start him young. My friend's son didn't start until kindergarten and he is still having a tough time adjusting. He rarely gets recess and he misses out on PE almost every week because he isn't quick enough to complete his work. He is still well ahead of where he would be expected to be in public school, but it is a tough situation that he is having a hard time getting the hang of even though he has been there for a year and a half. He frequently talks about how he is the worst student, how he is used to not being able to make friends at school, and how he is just a lazy person. I truly don't like Montessori because I think that socializing and PE are important, and because I think that all kids will learn the skills my friend's son is eventually so there is no reason to punish a child and tear down at their self-esteem just to get that done. If you are going to lean towards Montessori though then I think that you should start young so kids can get used to the work load early and hopefully not have to be put through that.

[eepster]

Originally Posted by One_Girl

I truly don't like Montessori because I think that socializing and PE are important,

Kids sometimes have trouble socializing with peers. This is a universal problem. It happens in plain old public school, traditional catholic schools, it happens in waldorf schools, it happens in crunchy free school, it happens in eclectic homeschool coops, and yes it happens in Montessori schools. There is nothing inherent in Montessori that makes it likely to happen any more frequently than in other schools. In fact, the lessons on grace should help the students better navigate social issues.

Keeping students in from PE and recess is a common practice in US public schools. Most likely it is copied from there. There is absolutely nothing that is Montessori about the practice. In fact in ideal Montessori set ups the students have free access to the outdoors so they can run off a little energy if they need to during work time. Now for logistical reasons, very few schools have that ideal set up, but the philosophy certainly respects the students need for physical activity. At all the Montessori schools I visited before choosing DS's, not a single one ever took recess away except for highly inappropriate behavior during recess.

[MattBronsil]

Keeping kids inside the classroom because they have to finish their work?
Withholding the practical life activities?

I thought we were talking about Montessori. What is going on in those schools? That's scary. Don't they have any sense of truth in advertising? If they are claiming to be a Montessori school, are they sure they aren't cheating the parents?

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by MattBronsil

If they are claiming to be a Montessori school, are they sure they aren't cheating the parents?

Well of course they aren't cheating the parents. Unlike those other Montessori schools they keep the kids' noses to the grindstones. It would be cheating the parents to waste their little darlings' time with frivolity. Sure, there were some sort of certification classes they saw advertised, but they spent all that money on those pretty educational toys. Those things can be used by children right? Why spend all that extra money to learn how to use them?

I'd be if it wasn't how some of these places seem to think.

[rabrog]

It sounds like this place uses the Montessori name but not the philosophy. And even if they were, being that you'll be moving him again the next year, I'd say stay where he's happy. He's got the time now to be a kid and doesn't need multiple transitions. Let him play and learn through it now.

You're a smart mama for thinking this through, btw.

Jenn

[monkeybum]

Okay, I'm feeling the same way most of you are - that it would be a mistake to move him. But I am so feeling guilty about possibly having him miss out on the academics he would gain there...and not giving him the same chances as his brother. I worry about him feeling he is not as "smart" as his big brother or not as capable academically (his brother is quite advanced).

The good news is that I just found out that his current daycare has purchased several of the montessori materials (mostly practical life stuff) and that one of his Preschool teachers is being trained on it next week. I'm sure it will not be a complete Montessori experience, but maybe it will at least help him in some ways.

I think I can also spend some time with him at home learning things he needs to, I just have been so impressed by how much his brother has learned...

But my gut does tell me it's the right thing to do to leave him - I think... ack!