help with neighbours and kids getting along

[sparkle16]

We live in the basement suite of some friends of mine, and both of us have kids. The problem is that their kids are very aggressive- they break toys frequently enough that we had to finally, after 18months of living here, and many times of talking to them, tell them that they couldn't come downstairs to play, as I'm tired of stuff being broken. They are also physically aggressive, the oldest, who's 5.5yrs is the worst, about 1-2x a week, he's hurting one or both of my kids. My kids never have hurt them, so it's really frustrating on my end to constantly be putting up with my kids being hurt! It's also frustrating that they can't even play outside in the yard, with all the parents right there, as it still happens. I finally did talk to the parents tonight, asking them if they couldn't do something effective to deal with their kid, but that didn't go very far- they just said that my kid is provoking theirs, and that's why he hits. I do admit that my daughter isn't a perfect kid, but she hasn't done anything to deserve being treated this way, and she should be able to play outside without fear of being hurt anytime there's a disagreement. I'm frustrated enough to be looking for a new place to live, does anyone else have any suggestions?

[Maluhia]

I think if you've already talked to the parents then moving is the only solution. Sorry.

[PreggieUBA2C]

I agree with pp. Especially because their response to your concern about your dc being injured by theirs was that your dd provoked him. That's an absurd response imo. With this attitude, it'll take the child eventually figuring out on his own that people who don't accept being hit won't play with him; of course it's always possible that he'll just amass friends who do.

I had to take a giant step back from a family we visited frequently when (after a long time with our dc being regularly hurt and never reciprocating), the dad said to his 3 yr old son not to jump on my then just-turned-two son's back and pull him down to the floor (to smother him) because my son, "doesn't walk so good."

I was floored. I mean besides the reality that he'd been running since he was 10 months old and had become even more physically advanced with the passage of time, it was absurd to give my son's (erroneously presumed) lack of skill as a reason for not aggressively mauling him. Like if he could physically withstand the older child's weight and behind-the-back attack, then it would be okay...

Some people think that's okay. You and I do not. So we're the ones who have to act.

What a terrible situation. I'm sorry.