I feel soooo horrible about having another baby!!!! I feel like, I totally suck at this job as it is, and why the he** would I want to take MORE time away from my poor DD. She already begs me most of the day to play with her and I really just cant. Or dont want too. And now, I will literally not be able too. Plus, I mean, she is so sweet, why would I make her feel like she isnt important anymore? Its really so mean. I guess because she has been my whole world for so long, since before she was ever born, I feel like a major traitor for having another baby.
By this time in my pregnancy with DD I was already talking to her constantly, telling her how much I loved her and talking about all the fun things we would do together... I cant attach at all to this baby yet. I felt like I knew DD immediately, but I have no idea who is swimming around in there now. I am really one of those moms who is wondering, how can I possibly love another baby as much as my first?
AND, Im pissed I didnt have another sooner, so DD could have a playmate... instead of a way younger siblings who will undoubtedly annoy the crap out of her like my sister did to me! "Include your sister, Lauren!!" "But shes a baby!! And my friends are here..." "I dont care, give her a part and include her." UGH! I hated her because she was so much younger than me and I still always had to play with her! And now Im doing the exact same thing to my poor DD (
pregnancy hormones are clearly killing me....