Originally Posted by samy23
No it's a new guy, I must have a thing for foreign men! lol
umsami you made some good points, thanks for letting me know those things. I think I need to talk to him about it further. From what I have heard already, he doesn't have much contact with his family because they aren't living here. I did bring up the point about whether they would be okay with him seeing me as Im not Muslim and he basically said they don't care because they understand his life is here now and it's upto him. So im guessing they would probably prefer he find a Muslim woman, but they aren't putting much pressure on him to do so, they are leaving it upto him....which is good.
At this rate you're going to need a comparative religions class as a pre-requisite for dating.
The thing with circ in Islam is that the actual doctrine doesn't give a lot of reasons for the practice ... it's just a sort of vague bodily maintenance thing, coupled with things like trimming the fingernails and leaving the beard to grow. But people like
having concrete reasons. In practice what that means is that over the years Muslim cultures and sources have pretty heavily attached reasons that read like a script from the American history of circ: hygiene! Anti-cancer! Curbs masturbation!
Yada yada yada.
A lot of people coming out of Muslim communities get exactly as attached to those sorts of reasons as many non-Muslim Americans do. Even without a lot of religious devotion that sense of why
it's done can be hard to overcome. So really it may just depend more on his culture and his attachment to his culture than his religion, or lack thereof, at all.
Although ... I know I was one of the people going all "red flag, red flag!" all over your Afghani man thread, and I kind of don't want to do that again, but this part?
|he doesn't have much contact with his family because they aren't living here. I did bring up the point about whether they would be okay with him seeing me as Im not Muslim and he basically said they don't care because they understand his life is here now and it's upto him.
It is extremely
rare for a Muslim man to immigrate and not have a lot of family contact simply due to distance. The relationship to one's parents is huge
. Likewise, it is extremely
rare for a devout Muslim family to tell their son "your life, your business" about marriage.
Just, you know, every family is different, I get that, but please just be aware that in the broader Muslim community these would be things that would take some serious explanation to not be cause for his character to be considered suspect.