Islam and Circumcision question - Page 2

[chimomma]

Originally Posted by samy23

Big question marks about backgrounds....not sure how you mean?

And I can't help who I'm attracted to. I like these guys with tanned skin and dark hair/eyes. Your post made it sound like I've had relationships with 10+ when it's only been 2.

I know relationships with different religions can be hard. However he isn't a practicing Muslim, which makes it easier. He doesn't expect me to convert or anything like that, knows I have a religious christian background myself, and has said he would be willing to go to a church with me and have his child raised christian if that's what his wife wanted. He doesn't want a muslim partner, I asked him that....he didn't really explain why though, I'll have to ask about that again because I do wonder. He isn't like a strict muslim man would be though, and if he was, then I wouldn't have even tried and likely he wouldnt either as he would have wanted a Muslim woman.



Now I understand better, why he does some things but not others. I will ask him about this at some point, it seems too early for right now...."hey, what are your feelings on circ?" I'll leave it for now, but at least it's cleared some things up.



Good point and I want to know about this too. It could be that he left a muslim country and has adapted to live in a christian one....but maybe there is more to it than that.

While it is true that we may all have natural inclinations to being attracted to a certain type of person and feel we can't "help it," there can be underlying psychological causes worth exploring. Some women are extremely excited by men who are very possessive and may not value them. Some women are very attracted to abusive personalities. Like I just realized it is likely my father has NPD which probably played a huge role with me being attracted to the same type of guys who all tend to be misogynistic, possessive, devalue their partners, act superior to other people. I am not saying this is necessarily the case with your relationships, but I do want to say this to about every single woman I meet. Go google abusive personality types and NPD and know the warning signs before choosing a partner. Many times woman don't see their partners true nature until it's too late, but there are warning signs. I know this is getting off topic, but it never hurts to educate yourself about these things. You can "help it" by realizing your relationship is not healthy and getting out before entrenched in it.

That being aside, I am an american Muslim and I am a very strict observant Muslim. Even then I find a lot of common cultural things very difficult to deal with. If I was not Muslim I don't think I could deal with it at all. I know some men may be more Americanized and are not observant Muslims, but that doesn't keep them from their cultural baggage or possible adverse upbringing.

I have to be honest here, if you are Christian and like to date Muslim guys do it in a temporary relationship for excitement. Don't put too much involvement and long term thinking in it, because most likely he is not thinking commitment. I know you don't want to hear that because you think he might be different. I have personal experience of this before I was Muslim and even though his observance was pretty much nil he informed me that he needs to marry from his culture and told me about his past relationships which ended when they each insisted the children be raised in their faith, not the other person's faith. Really, even if he does end up wanting to marry you, you can be certain the children will be expected to be Muslim. He may not come out with this now because it is likely the prospect of marriage has not crossed his mind in the slightest, or it did in a fantasy where you turn Muslim and rear Muslim kids.

[AutumnSunshine]

Originally Posted by samy23

Big question marks about backgrounds....not sure how you mean?

I would be if this wasn't so