worried about crying (too much?)

[carrie a.]

i'm feeling so guilty about not being able to meet both my babies needs - they are 16 months apart and my little man, who is 4 months old, cries more often and longer than i would like. i would never intentionally let my baby cry and have read the scientific reasons against crying it out. there is usually at least once during the day though, that i can't get to him. either we're in the car or my daughter needs me. he gets so worked up so quickly, like he's in pain and terrified. i'm really worried that i'm doing long term damage.

[happysmileylady]

You are not doing him long term damage by not being able to get to him immediately. Mothers all over the world in all sorts of times and eras have been through the same thing. The more kids there are in a family, the less individual attention each gets, just by the nature of the family. That's just the way it has to be sometimes.

And really, that's exactly what you are teaching the baby when you have to let him cry a bit. That occasionally, there will be something more important than his desire to be out of the car seat that instant, or that there will be times that his sibling will have to come first. And that's an ok thing for him to learn.

If you haven't already, you will quickly learn the cry that means he's really in pain, over the cry that demands that he be removed from the car seat immediately.

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

Lots of commiseration, as I was THERE 13 months ago (please see siggy ) And my little guy was a HANDFUL. I can remember wearing him in a sling, nursing, while trying to cook dinner and look after my then 17 month old. Matter of fact, I was just reading some of my super old posts today, and thinking,"WHOA! How on earth did I do it?". But I did, and here we are, and hes fine. Its just the nature of the beast sometimes. . You are doing just fine, I am sure of it!

[Kmama2]

Originally Posted by Barbie64g

Lots of commiseration, as I was THERE 13 months ago (please see siggy ) And my little guy was a HANDFUL. I can remember wearing him in a sling, nursing, while trying to cook dinner and look after my then 17 month old. Matter of fact, I was just reading some of my super old posts today, and thinking,"WHOA! How on earth did I do it?". But I did, and here we are, and hes fine. Its just the nature of the beast sometimes. . You are doing just fine, I am sure of it!

Just the nature of the beast is right. Same thing happens here. Try not to worry about what you can't control. We all have those moments. Just today ds was crying and wanting to eat and go to sleep. His sister was on the potty pooping... then I had to help her wipe and wash up etc... he was screaming the whole time. Its tough. I feel guilty that he crys alot but thats life I guess. Some things are beyond your control. My 6 month old still screams in the car 50% of the time. I hate it but I have to go places sometimes and he has to sit in his carseat.

[tzs]

Originally Posted by happysmileylady

You are not doing him long term damage by not being able to get to him immediately. Mothers all over the world in all sorts of times and eras have been through the same thing. The more kids there are in a family, the less individual attention each gets, just by the nature of the family. That's just the way it has to be sometimes.

And really, that's exactly what you are teaching the baby when you have to let him cry a bit. That occasionally, there will be something more important than his desire to be out of the car seat that instant, or that there will be times that his sibling will have to come first. And that's an ok thing for him to learn.

If you haven't already, you will quickly learn the cry that means he's really in pain, over the cry that demands that he be removed from the car seat immediately.

i really like the way this is written...it's true. i look at my sil's kids, there are 5 of them, and am always amazed by the patience of the younger ones and how they can amuse themselves as babies. especially in contrast to my babe who is the first and only at the moment. sometimes i'm even envious b/c i worry that i am "ruining" her by somehow over-responding. i know that this isn't really true but there is a reason for the term "first child syndrome."