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Who else is of the dreaded *Advanced Maternal Age*?

post #1 of 36
Thread Starter 
I know there are at least a few of us. Maybe we can share some of the joys, pains, and absurdities that come from being a little extra "wise"!

Anyone doing anything differently from previous pregnancies, or having to fight for the kind of pregnancy/birth you want because of your age? Anyone else noticing all the younger mamas out there and feeling wistful for their younger selves? Or do you feel empowered by all that you know and have experienced?

AFM, I feel pretty young at heart, mind, and body, but it's hard to ignore the slight weirdness of being a first-time mama at age 37 . I didn't intend for that to be the case - but here I am.
post #2 of 36
Me me! I'll be 40 in a couple weeks.
Truthfully I didn't know I was getting old until they told me so when I was pregnant with DS (I was 36 when he was born.)
It was easy, I am in good shape and eat well.
post #3 of 36
I just turned 37 and I am happy to be the age I am. I do think I need to exercise more to avoid physically "getting old" I think people sometimes take fitness for granted when they're young and are sedentary and end up aging really fast when they hit a certain age (DH's and my mothers are prime examples of this) and I really want to avoid that.

DH and I are young at heart and I think we look pretty young for our ages and being older, we both feel like we're not missing anything going to bed at 9:30 on a Saturday night, we love it. I have known other mothers who had their kids young and they seem to feel to some extent like they're giving up too much me-time to be moms (or NOT giving it up, to the detriment of their kids) whereas DH and I were wild in our 20s and we are thrilled to be present for our lil monkey in our 30s with no regrets. It's great.
post #4 of 36
I'm an old 37-year-old lady too.
post #5 of 36
Your post title made me smile.

I am going to be 40 next month and it's becoming pretty clear to me the role that the hospitals/doctors/medical community have played in my last pregnancy at age 38. They sort of made me feel as if I had three heads instead of just another woman having a baby.

Luckily for me, this time, I'm going with a very common sense approach midwife who is about a year older than I am and had a baby (her 5th also) herself not that long ago (also at home).

When I asked about my age and how it might play into a homebirth, she didn't laugh at me (of course), but laughed at the notion that my age should have anything to do with it. I liked her immediately!

I am realizing that the older I get it's really a good idea that I have this baby at home. I had my first baby when I was 21 and pretty much just did what I was told and didn't have the nerve to question what I perceived as authority. Now, 20 years later I feel free to question everything and everyone and perceive almost no one as having authority over me. Basically I take crap from no one. Thinking back to all the crappy "rules" I've experienced during 4 hospital births, I know for sure I couldn't take it again. And I'm pretty sure they couldn't take me either.

The only real problem with getting old is that I get worried about having less and less time to live. I have a blissfully happy life every. single. day and I hate to think of that someday coming to an end. It used to seem as if soooo much time lay ahead of me and sometimes it seems like I can watch it shrink! Slloooowww down, time!

Tracy
post #6 of 36
I'll be 42 next month. I had my first at 34, and my second at 37, so Im used to being a bit older

I'm not doing much differently this time, just exhausted with 2 active boys to keep up with
post #7 of 36
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by enigo View Post
Me me! I'll be 40 in a couple weeks.
Truthfully I didn't know I was getting old until they told me so when I was pregnant with DS (I was 36 when he was born.)
It was easy, I am in good shape and eat well.
Hi Enigo! It's sooo great to see you here!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Qbear'smama View Post
I just turned 37 and I am happy to be the age I am. I do think I need to exercise more to avoid physically "getting old" I think people sometimes take fitness for granted when they're young and are sedentary and end up aging really fast when they hit a certain age (DH's and my mothers are prime examples of this) and I really want to avoid that.

DH and I are young at heart and I think we look pretty young for our ages and being older, we both feel like we're not missing anything going to bed at 9:30 on a Saturday night, we love it. I have known other mothers who had their kids young and they seem to feel to some extent like they're giving up too much me-time to be moms (or NOT giving it up, to the detriment of their kids) whereas DH and I were wild in our 20s and we are thrilled to be present for our lil monkey in our 30s with no regrets. It's great.
I completely agree with all of this. I too, need to be more vigilant about exercise. And I've also become much more of a 'nester' as I've aged, so adding in a kid or two seems like a transition I'm (more than) ready for!

Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post
I'm an old 37-year-old lady too.
Hi Annette! btw, do twins run in your family?

Quote:
Originally Posted by NeverBeenHappier View Post
I am realizing that the older I get it's really a good idea that I have this baby at home. I had my first baby when I was 21 and pretty much just did what I was told and didn't have the nerve to question what I perceived as authority. Now, 20 years later I feel free to question everything and everyone and perceive almost no one as having authority over me. Basically I take crap from no one. Thinking back to all the crappy "rules" I've experienced during 4 hospital births, I know for sure I couldn't take it again. And I'm pretty sure they couldn't take me either.
Tracy
Thanks for your wisdom, mama. You sound like a force to be reckoned with! And I hear you on feeling the passing of time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by oakparkveggie View Post
I'll be 42 next month. I had my first at 34, and my second at 37, so Im used to being a bit older

I'm relieved to see a few mamas here who didn't start having babes until their mid 30s. Gives me hope.
post #8 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by tinynyota View Post
Hi Annette! btw, do twins run in your family?
Nope. Just a hazard of the elderly having sex, I suppose.
post #9 of 36
I forgot to post here! I'm an "old" mamma too, lol! I'm 37 and I'll turn 38 during this pregnancy. I don't really feel old, although I do echo the sentiment of feeling like I'm running out of time and time flies too fast!!!! This is baby 5 for us, so I've had the experience of a baby at 22, 27, 31, and 33!! I too think about being around "long enough" for my kids. I lost my mom at 18. But I was so lucky to have her for the time I did. She was a huge impact on my life even for the short time she was with me. So I try to remember that, that we moms are a "big deal" to our kids for whatever length of time we are here.
post #10 of 36
I'm 41 and my DD will be turning 1 next month. My pregnancy was easy, my labor was three days long but otherwise normal, and my baby healthy. All my life I've exercised and eaten healthy, and that paid off. My OB never labeled me "high-risk" or made any other pronouncements based on my age. My DH and I will be trying for baby #2 as soon as my cycles return.

The good thing about waiting this long to have babies is that I'd sown my wild oats already and am perfectly happy to be at home with my baby. But I have two regrets. One is that my parents are elderly now; actually, my father passed away last month. My daughter will never be able to enjoy being spoiled by her grandfather.

My other regret is that I'm too old for more than one more pregnancy. I love being a mommy and wish I'd become one much sooner.
post #11 of 36
I'll join the crew!

I'm 40 and am pregnant with my third. I'm still trying to get my head around whether there is anything different this time (had my first at 31 and second at 35). I'm more worried about the health of the baby with these darned "old eggs" and hoping that I'll make it to delivery with my higher risk of miscarriage. But if all goes well, I can't wait to experience pregnancy and the early years again.

I am considering doing some testing which I normally don't do, but am still hoping for a homebirth.

Nice to see you all. I definitely think I appreciate the company


Angie
Mama to Finn 6/01 and Theo 4/05 and hoping for an elf 12/10
post #12 of 36
Yup, I'm in...I'll be 40 next month and had big plans for the B-day but I am wiped out and extra sensitive so the party will be more like a siesta than a fiesta!

I also worry about the age thing and have been calculating my kid's future milestones and then seeing how old I'll be, but here I am and there's no return, so, I'll just have to find a way to hire out the things that make me tired... like cleaning, cooking, reading (there's books on tape, right?)

I actually love being this age. I know what's important to me and how to make it happen. I won't be doing too much different for the birth but focusing more on the parenting and how the kids will adjust. Had DD at 35 with a midwife in the hospital and family and inlaws there, DS at 37 with a midwife at the birth center and no family and this little one (hoping it's only 1) most likely at home-I'd keep it a secret until way after the birth but I am showing like a watermelon right now!

Off to bed. Good luck ladies of advanced age. Isn't 40 the new 30?

Nancy
post #13 of 36
I'll be turning 37 two days before my due date, but I expect to have already had the baby by then. My other two have both been early. I had my first at 31 and second at 34. DH wants a fourth after this one. We'll see.

They don't make such a big deal of advanced maternal age here, or at least I don't think they do. My midwife is really on the fringes and isn't a by the book sort of person. I'll be having a homebirth with her, as I did last time. My first was also born at home, but that was in California.

I do get the nuchal translucency (is that what they call it there?) test for free now. I had to pay for it last time because I was still young and fresh.
post #14 of 36
Hi, I'm not pregnant at this moment, but just saw your thread title and had to post . I had my first DS at 40 and it was the easiest, quickest, and most painless (thank you epidural) pregnancy ever. I never felt that I was treated as an older patient and only thing I had to do different than younger moms-to-be was to go in every other day after 40 weeks to be checked since the u/s showed my baby at 11lbs!! Guess those things are way off in predicting...he was only 8lbs.
post #15 of 36
I just turned 38 last week and am expecting my first. Honestly, I couldn't imagine being pregnant or ready to be a mom before now. And now it seems it's exactly what I'm supposed to be doing.

I am a little worried about the whole "high risk" thing. I haven't had an appointment yet and am wondering how they determine that. I'm not sure if I want a homebirth, but I would like to have the option. I would like to have some of the genetic testing, but other than that I'm really hoping for a low-key pregnancy. (Is that naive?)
post #16 of 36
Looks like I'm the oldest one here!
post #17 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by NeverBeenHappier View Post
Basically I take crap from no one. Thinking back to all the crappy "rules" I've experienced during 4 hospital births, I know for sure I couldn't take it again. And I'm pretty sure they couldn't take me either. Tracy
This is totally me. I never had a hospital birth, but I did have an OB appointment before I get a midwife (I was on a waiting list, they're hard to get here) and the medical community in general does not appreciate my "question everything" attitude

Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post
Nope. Just a hazard of the elderly having sex, I suppose.


Quote:
Originally Posted by YvonneC-M View Post
The good thing about waiting this long to have babies is that I'd sown my wild oats already and am perfectly happy to be at home with my baby. But I have two regrets. One is that my parents are elderly now; actually, my father passed away last month. My daughter will never be able to enjoy being spoiled by her grandfather.

My other regret is that I'm too old for more than one more pregnancy. I love being a mommy and wish I'd become one much sooner.
to all of this. BOTH of DD's grandfathers passed away relatively young, but I was only 30 when mine died, DH was still in his twenties, but it's hard. I would also like to have started having babies sooner, but I met DH when I was 31 (I think?) and I would not have wanted to have kids with anyone else, I was married before and I thank God often that no kids came from that relationship!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by LiminalOne View Post
I am considering doing some testing which I normally don't do.
Yes we need to discuss this amongst our old selves when we get to that point!! (which is soon!!)

Quote:
Originally Posted by audeesmom View Post
Off to bed. Good luck ladies of advanced age. Isn't 40 the new 30?
It is, except we go to bed a little earlier if we get the chance!! Hah! The old-ladies-having-babies club!
post #18 of 36
Hello! I haven't been to MCD for a long time, but just today I found out I am pregnant with our third! I am 40 years old, will be 41 when this little one is born. I had my first at 36 and my second at 38. My OB was amazing, but we have since moved to a different country, and due to all kinds of immigration setbacks, I am without health care for now. I kind of feel like flying blind, going into this without my trusted OB and without any real options for prenatal care. Starting tomorrow, DH and I are going to actively research our options. As you may have guessed, this little bean has kind of caught us by surprise!
post #19 of 36
I guess I'm technically AMA. My sister was saying something today about AMA being over 30? Good grief, Charlie Brown!

I was 34 when I had our DD, and will be 36 by the time this little One shows up.

Intent is for homebirth. My only prenatal care will be a nutritionist and midwife, as long as everything goes as smoothly as last time (which I expect it will).

post #20 of 36
Thread Starter 
Woo hooo! Look at all of us over here.
Welcome!!
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