16 mo will only eat if alone and ignored

[JessieBird]

Has anybody else experienced this? Over the past few months, DS has grown more and more "active" during meals. He loves to smear food around in his hair, throw it all over the place, smush it up with his cup, etc. Sometimes it is because he is tired and cranky, other times because he's having a lot of fun making a mess and generally being mischievous. Either way, he eats hardly anything but this doesn't seem to affect him. He'll get on with his day or go to sleep no problem. So though it's frustrating for me in the moment and a lot to clean up, I don't let it bother me and just figured it was a phase that would pass.

However, now I've come to realize that he eats and eats and eats in perfect peace and contentment if I/we (depending on who's home) leave the room and generally pay no attention to him. I discovered this kind of by accident - "catching" him taking bites when I went into the kitchen, that sort of thing. For the past two weeks, I've tested the theory and sure enough he either prefers to be alone or really gets distracted by others' presence. The difference is night and day.

I find this kind of sad (for me, not him) and I'm not sure if I should just go with it for now or keep working on eating together. I've been so trained to place a lot of value on family meals. We did BLW so this was always very important to me. Then again, I guess so was the independence that BLW fosters.

What do you think?

[Smokering]

I wouldn't worry about it. It probably won't last forever. DD's the other way around right now - I have to sit by her and keep talking or she gets bored and leaves her food. But she was like your son for a while. If he's happy, go with it! Could he still sit at a high chair or something while the rest of you eat, maybe with a toy, if you want to be together during meals?

[blizzard_babe]

Yeah, he'll get over it. Think of it this way... you are just too fun and entertaining to eat with. DS, around that age, started to enjoy "putting on shows;" that is, doing things (like making messes) because it makes the big people do things that are interesting to watch (if you're 16 months, watching mama clean up is actually kind of interesting, I guess ).

DS is still kind of like this at almost 2 y/o; if left to his own devices, he'll feast like a king, but if we're around, sometimes he'd just rather chat with us. I've become fine with it... he eats eventually, and enjoys the social aspect of joining us for dinner. I ordered gyros tonight, and he stabbed a quarter of a pita on a fork and took like four little nibbles from around the edge, but I know if I leave it out (and keep the dog from getting it ), he'll climb back up and eat the rest within the next few hours, probably while I'm typing something on the computer (though not now... he's currently trying to clip the leash on the dog).

[GretchenC]

I wouldn't worry. Just give him his food by himself and then when everyone else sits down for dinner give him something that isn't too messy (cereal, bread, crackers, a chunk of apple) so you can have your family meal. I bet a few weeks of having no one to show off for and he will forget that it was fun in the first place. Good luck!