Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride  And, I'm not a nice person in this regard, but your husband's opinion about whether or not a c-section is a big deal matters no more than a fart in the wind. I don't care if the OB, your husband, your friends, the maternity nurses, your parents, your co-workers and the man in the moon think it was no big deal. You are the one who had the surgery. You are the one who was cut open, and nobody else gets an opinion on whether or not it was a big deal. Period. Full stop.
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I couldn't agree more. I read your post in my thread about wishful thinking. Yes, it does sound like we had similar experiences. I wish your husband was more supportive. My DH also *forgot* to read the birth partner, he wasn't helpful in avoiding anything, either. He went along with what they said, didn't even slow anything down. It came up in therapy and I said I was worried about blaming him for anything, because if I went down that road I was afraid I might hate him. After that, I knew we needed a good talk. I think it is vital for you two to try to get on the same page before you bring another child into the mix. I don't know about you, but my birth trauma has left me with feelings of being raped. The violation is very similar. I have had to communicate this to DH, he had to hear me and not say anything. Just hearing it is what I needed. I would suggest that before you start trying, that you get some therapy with someone trained or sensitive to birth trauma. You NEED to know that your feelings are valid, and I would suggest that it will help you so much to be able to say everything out loud in a safe space. It sounds like you have been keeping a lot in. And then, I hope you can go together.
I am sending you many hugs, I hope you can get things sorted out so you can get the support you need and the birth you deserve.
