if you cosleep how on earth do you get your baby to nap??

[snadaska]

i think my dd is overtired. she is always fussy, hates napping, doesn't sleep well, etc. she is 8 months old and sometimes only naps a total of 1 or 1.5 hours. i feel like the worst mother. i am worried about how this sleep deprivation might be delaying her development. is that even possible?
i have no idea how to get her to nap. she will not go to sleep. sometimes she will if i nurse her adn then bring her into bed with me but even that doesnt always work. i am sooooo tempted to do the ferber CIO method at least iwth naps. i don't want to but i have no idea what else to do. please tell me what works for you.

[Asparagus78]

Have you tried wearing her in a sling or a carrier?

[akind1]

When we are home, the naps are either naturally occuring - DS drifts off to sleep on his own (usually when I have him on a blanket on the floor - he starts sucking his thumb and off he goes; or in his bouncy seat) or I watch for signs he is tired - he has started rubbing his eyes, his eyes just *look* tired, grumpy, etc, and I swaddle him and put him in his crib or on our bed. He may cry out once or twice or make some grunting/unhappy noises for a minute or two, then finds his thumb (unless he has a paci and has managed to keep it in his mouth) and goes to sleep. I don't consider this CIO because it really is just maybe a minute and if it goes into a really unhappy cry rather than, I'll holler and see what happens cry, I go to him and see if I can settle him. Rarely do I need to nurse him to sleep, but on occasion this is what works. I nurse sidelying in our bed and once he drifts off and pops off then I exit and leave him be. last time I did that, he slept like 2 hours.

when we are out and about, he usually sleeps in the car, or will go to sleep while I wear him in the Ergo.

[JanineRivera]

I remember at this age that I had a really difficult time reading sleep cues ... we would lay down to nap and be up 20 -30 minutes later with no luck and then I would just try again 30-60 minutes later. I remember being very frustrated at the time. My dd would nap maybe 30-45 minutes 3- 4 times a day. She is now 20 months and is much easier to read because she tells me when she is ready for a nap. I lay with her and nurse her the same as always and usually have to go in once or twice to nurse back to sleep. She usually sleeps for about 1.5 - 2 hours.

I forgot to add that at this time we were also doing a lot of driving to get my dd to nap. I hated the idea of wasting gas and the effects on the environment but sometimes there were no other options. Another thing that worked was putting her in the ergo or stroller and going for a walk. I did not like the driving or walking so much for nap time because that meant that I got no down time but she grew out of this and we know have a much easier and consistent nap routine at 20 months. Hang in there; it gets better.

I hope this helps,
Janine

[Adasmommy]

My baby's only 4 months. She usually naps on my lap while nursing or falls asleep wrapped on my back.

[Bendemolena]

At different times:
front carrier while walking outside
back carrier while walking outside or moving around the house
stroller
car
nursing in bed
nursing on the couch
holding in arms or in a front carrier, bouncing on an exercise ball

I remember trouble with naps around that age too. Starting to crawl and all that fun movement development really made DS protest naps. It will pass. Try different things and try to be aware of early sleep signs, don't wait until she's losing it, because it's so much harder then.

[NanoMama]

We cosleep and my DD napped on my chest in my ergo carrier until she was 11 months - she just wouldn't nap any other way in the home (she would also sometimes nap in a stroller (she only 'let' herself be put in a stroller at around 8-9 months of age though) or fall asleep in the car.
Goodluck! I am happy to report to you that by 1 year she was fairly consistent with solo-bed napping (with nursing her down and staying there until she is fully out).

[2cutiekitties]

The first two years, I drove him for naps, then transferred him to bed and nap with him.
DS has never had to go to sleep on his own. If someone isn't there, he wakes. So, I take naps with him, and we go to bed at night at the same time. Sometimes I watch tv while he sleeps, but there is someone in the bed with him. Anyhoo, that is the only way he would nap...car drive, attached parent. After he turned 2 1/2, I was able to just put him on the bed, rub his back and we would fall asleep together.

I am very used to taking naps and DS3 wants nothing to do with them anymore

I tried to get him to, at least, nap on his own, but no dice. He would wake and be crying so hard, I simply couldn't do it. Yes, I really wish I had tried different methods, but at the baby stage (1st yr) I was so bleeping tired I lived for naptime. But during the later years, it would have been nice to get some dishes done or something.

[kdescalzi]

op...we cosleep with our 11mo dd and she naps in the ergo on my back. She will not sleep alone. Try wearing your lo for naps....you can try a few different types of wraps/carriers and find one your lo likes the best. The great thing about wearing your babe is that they are usually content even if they are not ready to sleep. Sometimes dd will just hang out on my back while I do chores or play with ds...when she gets really sleepy, she will fall asleep. HTH

[zamia7]

my little bugger was like that today! drove me NUTS. I got so frusterated I put him in his crib after trying to get him to sleep for 2 hours (I KNEW he was exhausted) He cried for 15 minutes then was out. I checked on him a few times, but I was so angry, that really his crib was the safest place for him, for me toget over it. And it wasn't the "WHY ARE YOU LEAVING ME HERE" cry, it was the "I'm so tired I just want you to make me sleep" cry. he slept for an hour. I hate that it came to that today, but I was about to snap.

usually i nurse him down on his full sized bed that is next to ours on the floor.

[newbiemama09]

we coslept (still do) and what i did was lay next to DD in bed, nurse to sleep then lay with her a bit longer, then get up and leave and she could stay asleep anywhere from 30 min-2 hours.

also WRAPS are A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. for a tired baby. DD would be out within 5 mintues and stay asleep for hours.

[scottishmommy]

Well it's been 16 months of napping in arms, like right now. That's how I post on MDC!

[Emmery'sMom]

Originally Posted by scottishmommy

Well it's been 16 months of napping in arms, like right now. That's how I post on MDC!

This is us too. I rock and nurse through her entire nap. I keep my laptop close by

[beebalmmama]

I'm not sure it has much to do about co-sleeping as it does about babies personality and dispositions. We slept with our first ds because he was a horrible sleeper. He only slept well in a wrap until he was about 12 months. When I did try to get him to sleep in our bed for naps I would often need to nurse him back down 2-3 times for him to sleep even an hour at a time. I usually nursed him in our bed and left him there (our bed was off of the frame at that point).

My second ds (now 5 months) is a much easier sleeper. He's also co-slept from day 1 and although we've had periods of a lot of night waking, he's sleeping so much better than ds 1 ever did. I've also managed to get him to sleep in a bassinet for naps, although that has only been for the last month or so.

The point is I haven't done anything different with either of them. They are just different babes and having one that doesn't sleep well doesn't make you a bad mother.

I also make sure to close the blinds and have white noise from a fan or humidifier etc.

Where are you in N. Colorado? I'm in Fort Collins.

[meemee]

how mobile is she? is she crawling?

is she eating solid foods? could she be reacting to certain foods? did her sleep thing begin after you started a new food? did you change or add something new to your diet.

around 9 months is when dd gave up her second nap.

we went to sleep the same way we did for the night. we would lay in bed and i'd nurse her and she'd fall off to sleep. if i stayed in bed she slept from anything from 1.5 to sometimes three hours. i could not sleep so i would read. if i got up after she fell asleep seh would be up by about an hour or hour and half.

however when seh got less sleep she would do the phasing out. i watched her do this from 9 months. she would be totally engrossed in doing one thing for 45 mins to an hour. like flipping thru a board book multiple times and just staring at it. suddenly she would shake her head as if she came out of a daze and would be off. so she got her rest that way.

is she protesting falling asleep or is she having trouble staying asleep?

do you take her out before nap time?

this is however about the time sleep transitions happen. they are off for about 2 to 3 weeks before they find a new pattern. or maybe longer. esp. if she just started to crawl or some new development happened.

sleep deprivation would not delay her development. it would add stress to her life and make her act out and eventually fall sick from being overtired.

[JessieBird]

With DS, I unlocked the secret right around 8 mos. We were going through something similar to you and wearing him for naps stopped working (he'd just scream and try to climb out of the ergo, wraps, etc, though we still baby wear when he is awake and happy). Figuring out two things solved our problems and we've been doing great ever since:

- I have to get him to bed at the very first earliest signs of tiredness, this means the moment I catch him rub an eye or hear that little twinge of frustration in his voice
- I need to leave him alone

I agree that it can be really hard to spot signs of sleep at this busy age but for us it was hardest for me to learn how to leave him alone. I'd been used to doing everything in my power to nurse, rock, cuddle, whatever, to get him to sleep. I was also very reluctant to put him anywhere but in our family bed but by 8 mos he was too wiggly to leave alone in there. So I put him in a pack 'n' play in our room for naps and the first part of nights (we'd move him in with us at his first wake up).

If I missed the window of opportunity at that first sign of tiredness, it was too late and he'd cry. But if I got him into the pnp on time and left him alone with no distractions (we used a noise machine), he'd gurgle happily to himself and then gradually fall asleep for up to three hours. I must admit I was kind of sad at first because the family bed idea was so important to me. But if I stay with him or give him the freedom of the big bed, he is too distracted and misses the window of "napportunity" and misery ensues.

DS is now 17 mos and a fantastic sleeper but we've been there I tell ya.

Good luck! I feel your pain and hope that some of the great suggestions you've received here help you out.

[texaspeach]

Originally Posted by Emmery'sMom

This is us too. I rock and nurse through her entire nap. I keep my laptop close by

us too. thought I was the only one

[akind1]

DS is a little younger than that, but he does sleep much better on his own. If I want to hold him he will wake up eventually. doesn't matter how still I am!

for his morning nap, he usually just drifts off on his own (while playing on the floor) for a short nap. the afternoon one is longer, sometimes as much as 3 hours. sometimes I nurse him down, sometimes he just needs to be laid down. This nap is usually on our bed, not in the co-sleeper/pnp, because that is too close to the window and gets too much light.

[Baby_Cakes]

You aren't the worst mother! Honestly, some babies just don't know how to sleep or don't need as much sleep as all the books say. That's my opinion. I felt the same as you the whole 1st year of my DD's life!

I think when DD was around 8-9 months, I hit the wall too. Rocking for naps, or nursing down, was the only way she would nap. And she wouldn't only stay asleep for one sleep cycle. When those techniques didn't work, I didn't know *what* to do. (I read and re-read NCSS but only got more frustrated when the tips didn't work. Nora cried so, so much, no matter what I tried.)

Just breathe. You aren't doing anything wrong. There is nothing wrong with your baby. This is just who she is. Once you start to see that, and own it, then things will automatically seem better. Stop fighting with her. Of course, encourage her to nap, but if you try 2, 3, 4 times to put her down and she just won't sleep, then that's it, oh well, no nap today! It'll be ok. You'll be ok. She will outgrow this and you will both be absolutely fine.