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Pregnant - which issue is REALLY an issue?

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 
HI

I am 29 weeks pregnant, with a very unintentional pregnancy - BAD timing - that seems to have been conceived in a 'freak of nature' kind of way. (like there was no way humanly possible - had to be some bizare cross contamination!) I'm 38 and have 5 kids age 5-17.

I am finally not being so 'negative' about this baby, but I have this gloom & doom dread about the baby & birth. Like in my gut, I just don't think this is going to turn out well in the end. On the other hand, it seems this baby has to have REALLY been ment to be here, in order to have been conceived & be thriving. (I've had many early misscarriages and even has a bad accident with concusion/loss of time at 9 weeks)

So...of many things that are very less than ideal in my life right now.... is there any one thing/area that is doing or going to do real harm to the baby or my health? or dispite everything that is so wrong, this baby is just going to be what its going to be - whether that be a good outcome or a bad - and its totally out of my hands.....

I keep having internal freak-out after freak-out about this. Usually I am very intuned to myself/baby - but I have nothing with this one. I have always been able to trust my gut on where & how I can safely birth - not this time. There is major stress right now - one thing after another - that leaves me sooo tense with my stomach in painful knots. I end many days sobbing uncontrolably just to let it out. Eating and drinking have not gone well AT ALL this whole pregnancy. My activity level & the activities I have to do are more than my body can handle. And the newest freak-out deals with an old toxic environmental chemical in our air.....and just more 'life' stuff...

I know babies are born just fine to moms in worse conditions/under worse stress....but babies also die or have problems even in the best of situations. I feel like I'm just screwing it all up - but maybe if I know just one thing that is going to make a difference for this baby and I to come through this unscathed - then I can quit being so mad at life!
post #2 of 8
Hi 5gifts.

I am going to be completely honest and tell you that I feel your gut is correct about something. I think that this child will have special needs. I do not think the birth is going to be affected by these needs necessarily. I will not give a diagnosis, b/c I am not a doctor nor a medical intuitive. I can tell you that I do not feel the severity being more than you can handle. And it is not life threatening as far as I can tell. Again, that is not a diagnosis, that is the energy of what I am feeling. I do not think you or the baby will be harmed at birth. But I want you to really consider your gut and not even so much what I am saying. Your gut is telling you something might require assistance. So just do yourself and your baby a big favor and be with assistance. Relieve that stress of your shoulders right now. Get into good hands and just ride this out. I also want to note that nothing you have done thus far is hurting the baby or anything. That doesn't mean you shouldn't take as best of care of yourself as you can, which you already know.

You will be fine. And the one thing you are wrong about is when you say "in the end it will not turn out alright." It will turn out alright. You will love this child more than you could ever imagine. You are more prepared for this than you might think. You are stronger than you know. Everything will be okay. I truly wish you peace on the rest of this pregnancy journey and birth and path with your next child.

*Please remember that all questions are answered here on the forum only. I do not accept private pm's for more information on your question.*
If you would like to leave me feedback, you can do so here:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions/member.php?u=59076
Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to help you.
post #3 of 8
Thread Starter 
Thanks Jamie,

Good Lord that really took my breath away! I had to run to the bathroom & compose myself before I could finish reading But I REALLY REALLY appreciate it.

I'm just glad my 2 little guys had just followed DH (poor guy doesn't know what to think of me lately!) out the door to dig a ditch right before I checked this....I've got to think long and hard on some things now..... I just want to hop on a horse & ride far far away.....but alas...I made myself give that up last week - I really can't take a fall now

I'm really glad to have this 'dirrection'...to try to think clearly in.
Thanks again for your honesty....time to put my 'big girl panties' on I guess!
post #4 of 8
Well I am simply amazed at how you handled that. And I Thank you. Because that was not an easy thing to ask (i'm sure) and it was certainly not an easy thing to answer. When I signed up to do this forum, I did not know these are the kind of questions I would get. But I truly want to help people and so I too "have to put my big girl panties on" and do my best.

I cannot stress enough to you that you will be fine. Everything will be fine. No matter what, that I guarantee to you.
post #5 of 8
Thread Starter 
Oh, believe me, my gut hurts bad - on about 5 different levels - right now. You know, when I first started to read your answer, and I ran away in pain, one of my thoughts was 'crap that must be hard for her to sit there & feel that and have to write that back to me!'

But I wanted to tell you the story behind the 'big girl panties' comment. It just always makes me laugh Its a joke around here with my DH and oldest DS - they go on road bike rides regularly. There is an older lady they ride with often, who is just an absolutely silly card -and sooo kind and caring...Anyway they were with her & another young guy on what ended up being a yucky, miserable Saturday morning, and they had done some really hard climbing. I guess she was hearing too much moaning & complaining from the guys - and her ever cheery, sunny self berated them with something like "Well I have never heard such a bunch of cry-baby guys in my life! Y'all just need to put on your big girl panties!" That just floored them - coming from a proper, southern-country little grandma...

And I do believe you, really, that I'll be fine. You are right, and I should know it. Its how things usually are with me, and I've taken some pretty big leaps before - but this...I just thought I was totally loosing it. Thanks again!
post #6 of 8
I love that story.

It took me several writes and rewrites to answer your question. And if I'm wrong, I'll be happy to have you write me and let me know. We can shout it from the rooftops! Actually when she is born we will shout if from the rooftops no matter what!
post #7 of 8
Thread Starter 
Hee!Hee!Hee!....you said 'she' Yep that's right...but THAT I'm keeping a secret from everyone. DH & kids don't know I found out, and they still think my gut assumes its a boy.

I will definately update - and when we shout it from the rooftop maybe my family 500 miles north of me & in-laws 500 miles south...will hear....it'll be news to them, cause they don't know I'm pregnant!
post #8 of 8
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