Update on Meeting/IEP post #4

[aslyn]

Well the 19th came and went, and we are no closer to having any results on the MFE then we did the day we had the meeting to determine if they were going to do an evaluation. I requested all of the results verbaly and in writing. I have so far gotten the exact same stuff I got at the original meeting in march. I have gained a severe annoyance with the school nurse who as nice as she is doesn't realize that I DID take my DD to the eye Dr in Feb ($200 out the door) and sat there as the eye dr did the exam and said she would have to do objective measurements because Kira did not understand what was being asked of her (which one is more clear 1 or 2)..Have you ever just wanted to slap someone really hard?! So now we have a meeting this afternoon, and I'm pretty livid, I have no results on the IQ/Academic Achievement Tests, Speech, OT/PT, Functional Behavior or adaptive behavior tests...I don't even know how much of it has actualy been done, but you would think in 7 weeks they would have done something! My poor DH is even afraid to ask if they sent anything home or called or anything because well im not the nicest person over all this, but he's pretty p'oed atm because he feels like he wont even have a say in anything since he has to stay home with the boys while I go to the meeting. We *thought* briefly about having them call him to be on the phone, but my DH has a bigger mouth then I do (scarey isn't it) and he WILL get vocal if he feels your screwing around with our lives.

So as of right this moment thats where we are at...maybe they will decide to send me SOMETHING via email before the meeting at 3pm, but I am not going to hold my breath, it would be counter-productive at this point!

[Aridel]

That is utterly ridiculous! If you end up feeling overwhelmed,or wanting more time to look at the assessments, I would tell them you need another meeting (maybe combine with PT/OT results?) to be scheduled ASAP. If they start talking about tough schedules or anything like that, stay calm and remind them they are required by law to provide you with the written assessment reports, which they did not. Maybe go in with a few dates/times written that would work for you, as potential meeting times. Take notes during the meeting, and ask for a copy of notes the team chairperson may take.

I'll be thinking of you today - let us know how it goes!

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by aslyn

So now we have a meeting this afternoon, and I'm pretty livid,

so what happened at the meeting? Did they give you any test results there? Are they coming up with a plan?

[aslyn]

Meeting Update

I cant figure out how to change the title to update the post! But hey its 3:30am..I should get some slack!

Ok so the meeting update! Happily they actualy got ALL the testing done, I didnt get any reports because they werent all together/done until yesterday..We did the IEP, with it noted that if there are any concerns or changes that need to be made we will meet again to change them.

She was diagnosed as *cognitively disabled* She is on the lower functioning end of mild mental retardation. In a nutshell, she is functioning on a lower emotional/mental scale then a typical 9 yr old. more like the 4-6 yr old range. It's gonna take her some time to mature, and it may take her til her 20's to graduate high school..but after all this SHE WILL graduate if it kills me! One of the reasons that nobody has been able to help her to read is that she losses her skills. It takes her months of repetition on the same thing to get it to stick. Also she literaly tunes people out if she doesnt understand what your saying or doing..wish I had that skill sometimes! She will be getting speech therapy for her receptive and sentence structure since she has a very hard time forming sentences; which goes back to her entire thought process. Occupational Therapy for her fine motor skills, which will help her to write smaller, neater, on the lines as well as daily living skills like brushing her hair and teeth, buttoning clothes,bathing herself properly etc. She will be in 2 special ed classrooms, 1 is a total immersion for kids with the same disability which she will work on math,reading,writing,daily living skills. Shes really excited about this one because she gets to go to the zoo with them monday, and to mcdonalds where they will be paying and ordering for themselves!(not that im THRILLED about a mcdonalds trip, but I see the point..is it to much to hope she orders a salad?) The other special ed class is a mix of kids that come and go, some with just like ADD or dyslexia or whatever. and she will work on her social skills. She will be in the general education class everyday for homeroom and science and social studies, which will be modified by the special ed dept. And She will have modified art,music and gym. The one thing that made me laugh is that shes too happy! She shows no signs of depression or bi-polar or emotional disturbance at all.

So from here on out its baby-steps. Next yr she will be put into 3rd grade, and all state/federal testing will be on alternative assements.

Of course during the meeting I had a meltdown, but I guess i expected it..maybe I was just hoping that I would go in there and they would say "oh shes just delayed, she will catch up" This has all been very hard on dh and I, and I think that now we are just both relieved, not because of a label..but because we now KNOW for sure what is up with her..no more guessing games, no more getting mad at people for asking stupid questions about why she does this or that, or sometimes people even get mad at her for not understanding them.

So now i am going back to bed!

Thanks to everyone here for sticking it out with me!!!

ETA: The school is providing me a refferal to a pediatric opthamologist (sp?) who can adequately assess her vision..Walmart vision is great for general kids but kids like her her who just don't understand need to see somebody who are used to dealing with babies/kids who can't talk etc

[karne]

Wow, you really got a lot of information. I just want to say that I'm another mama who falls apart when I read reports or hear feedback. We're human, these our our kids and we have to stop, take in all that info, and then match it up w/the children we know and love, as well as with our hopes and dreams for them.

It sounds like the team got a good read on your dd. The plan sounds good at first glance, and developmentally appropriate. How are you feeling about it today? I hope that you are feeling like a strong advocate for your dd, because you certainly have been!

[aslyn]

Karne: I'm de-stressing today! I think the plan is awesome, there really is a whole lot going on for her and she is getting help in areas I would have never even thought of. The team was super in the meeting and answered all of my questions, and we even took a break to call my DH to update him and see if he had anything to add/ask so that made him very happy. I was surprised by the modified specials. But what is kinda cool is the teachers for those specials have training in dealing with sn kids and have a modified class setting where every kid no matter what the need is can participate in some form or another and the school she goes to is the main elementary school in the district that deals with kids of her abilities, so if she had been assigned to one of the other 2 she would have been sent there for her LRE.

I have to say the one thing that really helped me when I started to lose it was the psychologist said "Nothing changes, She is still the same little girl she was before you walked in here" and for whatever reason, it made me think of this group here as I have read that over and over in various threads and it became my focus.

[2boyzmama]

Originally Posted by aslyn

I cant figure out how to change the title to update the post! But hey its 3:30am..I should get some slack!

[Click "edit" then "go advanced" to change the title
Of course during the meeting I had a meltdown, but I guess i expected it..

You NEED to have meltdowns sometimes! First of all, you're human, and this is your baby. And secondly, it reminds the team that you are mom, you know? I run into this with drs often, they are used to looking at Connor's CHARTS, not him as a PERSON, and they separate themselves so much, sometimes it helps to see emotion coming from the parent to remind them that they are dealing with a living breathing beautiful CHILD!!!

Originally Posted by aslyn

Karne: I'm de-stressing today!
GOOD!! Go ahead and splurge on something 'sinful' like a big double-dip ice cream cone or several glasses of wine, or that new blouse you've been eyeing. You need to treat yourself once in a while

I have to say the one thing that really helped me when I started to lose it was the psychologist said "Nothing changes, She is still the same little girl she was before you walked in here" and for whatever reason, it made me think of this group here as I have read that over and over in various threads and it became my focus.

I'm so glad the psychologist was comforting!! (especially our school psychologist is anything but ) It's so easy to get lost in the diagnoses, but she IS your little girl, she IS the light of your life. Just like she was yesterday, 6 months ago, and 6 years ago.

Gosh, now I just want to go scoop my kids into a big huge HUG!!!

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by aslyn

I think the plan is awesome, there really is a whole lot going on for her and she is getting help in areas I would have never even thought of.

I'm so glad that it all went well. It's great that she gets to start her new class with a field trip!

I have to say the one thing that really helped me when I started to lose it was the psychologist said "Nothing changes, She is still the same little girl she was before you walked in here"

This is so beautiful.

Originally Posted by 2boyzmama

You NEED to have meltdowns sometimes! First of all, you're human, and this is your baby. And secondly, it reminds the team that you are mom, you know?

I sat in the principal's office and cried one day this year. I think it's only natural to lose it from time to time. How could any parent deal with this stuff and not fall apart once in a while unless their heart was made of stone? It's just not good to get stuck there.

It's so easy to get lost in the diagnoses, but she IS your little girl, she IS the light of your life. Just like she was yesterday, 6 months ago, and 6 years ago.

well said.

[aslyn]

2boyzmama: Success thanx!

I think I just needed to cry, i needed to let the emotion go so I could deal with it all..honestly it was like we knew something was up, but seeing it in black and white it hit me.

I am definitly much more positive today, and can't wait for her to come home and tell me all about her day as usual.

[Aridel]

I am so, so glad to hear it went well! You should give yourself a pat on the back and a lot of credit - this has been (and will be) such a tough process, but you have really advocated for what your dd needs! It's great to hear that she's happy about her new class, and that she gets to start it off with such a fun day!

Those tough emotions do come around sometimes, especially during IEP meetings or after evaluations, but they're a part of this whole package of being a SN Mom! It sounds like there is a good plan in place for your dd, and you have a good team for her. I'm sure she will blossom with the new supports!