I'm shy around guys and many times if there is any guy in my neighborhood or somewhere I get passed by .
That was the way in highschool/college that I turned into meeting guys online one guy was a cre(p other than that the 2nd one whose my son's father but now my ex who is now a JK. But even before I met ex irl he actually got so scared of not wanting to meet up that I literally pull him into meeting me and then after he met me he was the Only Guy that ever showed True Interest in me which means he was my only Relationship I ever had then I lost it after five years more likely three because it changed & I had even talked about leaving him then even before I ended up pg with Brendan but then when I ended up pg with brendan the relationship with more downhill.
Oh I was hoping maybe after Brendan was born it would bring some postivity but it didn't so I ende up totally depressed that I nearly missed out on the first beginning of brendan babyhood .
So then I finally woke up & said I needed to set myself & brendan from this misery we are in so I brought him back into montana & didn't come back to his father .
So then anyhow Brendan definetly became more happier and I was a little bit more relaxed but that's mostly how I have been is relaxed but still I get sad and alone feeling.
I even get envious how it is easy for so many to end up in relatonship with a few months , not even more than 2 yrs .
Now this one gal who been a single mom since living here as long as I have with 3 kids she is now moving in with her bf whose good with kids next month to a house but beforehand she has had bunch of dates but with me I have had 0 dates .
Another one who has a bf within a year of moving into the apartment and she has 4 kids .
Another gal got back together with her ex husband whose also her daughter father .
Anyhow so I signed up for online dating sites I see guys who are not really that chemistry attractive they look creepy to me.
So when I msg a guy who looks attractive no answer .
Other than that other online guys are smokers and even smokers are sometimes good looking that I won't end up wanting to be around smokers or date any of them.
So I truly don't think I will have any luck with online dating especially locally hence my son's father who I met online who I totally pulled him to come to meet me had been all the way down in South California is where he was .
1200 miles away from my state .
So now I'm back at square one but now have a kid whose a charmer whose irrestible because many people say he's just too cute etc .
Sigh, I would love to meet a guy whose able to not be a smoker and a local person but if I had such a heck of time in my teen/adult years .
Even my brother has had more relationships than I ever had .
I got odd prank calls that were disgusting , mean , rude etc . I even ended up getting a peeping tom more than once.
So two of the peeping tom was possibly were stalkers since I ran into one of them and I said an oddness of how that person knew where i was going but then turned the other way after i passed by .
So anyhow, then truth be it my ex was actually a cre&p at the beginning but maybe I was just happy that someone wanted to be with me and thought that was the only way I could go you know ? even though he was attractive a former smoker, nice, had fun with him but even with him some things weirded me out .
That was the way in highschool/college that I turned into meeting guys online one guy was a cre(p other than that the 2nd one whose my son's father but now my ex who is now a JK. But even before I met ex irl he actually got so scared of not wanting to meet up that I literally pull him into meeting me and then after he met me he was the Only Guy that ever showed True Interest in me which means he was my only Relationship I ever had then I lost it after five years more likely three because it changed & I had even talked about leaving him then even before I ended up pg with Brendan but then when I ended up pg with brendan the relationship with more downhill.
Oh I was hoping maybe after Brendan was born it would bring some postivity but it didn't so I ende up totally depressed that I nearly missed out on the first beginning of brendan babyhood .
So then I finally woke up & said I needed to set myself & brendan from this misery we are in so I brought him back into montana & didn't come back to his father .
So then anyhow Brendan definetly became more happier and I was a little bit more relaxed but that's mostly how I have been is relaxed but still I get sad and alone feeling.
I even get envious how it is easy for so many to end up in relatonship with a few months , not even more than 2 yrs .
Now this one gal who been a single mom since living here as long as I have with 3 kids she is now moving in with her bf whose good with kids next month to a house but beforehand she has had bunch of dates but with me I have had 0 dates .
Another one who has a bf within a year of moving into the apartment and she has 4 kids .
Another gal got back together with her ex husband whose also her daughter father .
Anyhow so I signed up for online dating sites I see guys who are not really that chemistry attractive they look creepy to me.
So when I msg a guy who looks attractive no answer .
Other than that other online guys are smokers and even smokers are sometimes good looking that I won't end up wanting to be around smokers or date any of them.
So I truly don't think I will have any luck with online dating especially locally hence my son's father who I met online who I totally pulled him to come to meet me had been all the way down in South California is where he was .
1200 miles away from my state .
So now I'm back at square one but now have a kid whose a charmer whose irrestible because many people say he's just too cute etc .
Sigh, I would love to meet a guy whose able to not be a smoker and a local person but if I had such a heck of time in my teen/adult years .
Even my brother has had more relationships than I ever had .
I got odd prank calls that were disgusting , mean , rude etc . I even ended up getting a peeping tom more than once.
So two of the peeping tom was possibly were stalkers since I ran into one of them and I said an oddness of how that person knew where i was going but then turned the other way after i passed by .
So anyhow, then truth be it my ex was actually a cre&p at the beginning but maybe I was just happy that someone wanted to be with me and thought that was the only way I could go you know ? even though he was attractive a former smoker, nice, had fun with him but even with him some things weirded me out .
