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What Do You "Do"? - Page 3

post #41 of 55
I am a SAHM who spends most days right now being lazy (I'm being honest here) because I'm currently doing the hardest thing my body will ever do and that's growing two babies I do whatever I need to to care for DS (22 months) cook lunch, light cleaning, play, etc... But I'm exhausted most of the time and DH is awesome about helping out. I do all the laundry and that's about the only think I am good at keeping up on right now LOL! I figure it this way... in just a few months I'm going to have a 2 year old and newborn twins so I will never ever get this lazy time again... so I'm taking advantage LOL!
post #42 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by longtallanimal View Post
I have a question for all the SAHMs. Did you figure out budget-wise if you could afford this before you had kids? What was your evolution from working to not after you had a baby? Was it part of the plan? DH and I live pretty frugally, with the exception of travel, which is a shared love, and I feel like we could make it work with his income alone, especially since we have no debt and a pretty big savings account. However, I don't want to put all the financial pressure on him, since he has a tendency to stress about money. How did you & your partner figure out that you could make it work, and what kind of lifestyle changes did you make in order to succeed?
I was educated at home and knew that I would want to do the same thing once married. It didn't take DH long at all to jump on board. With that mindset and much of what MFQ mentioned, it was always a given that we would do whatever it took to keep me home. I have a degree, but my mindset now is that my furthering ed will be for the benefit of my family now and then as something that i could do from home in any worst-case scenarios. DH is self-employed in the housing industry and we all know what that's like these days.

I agree that it's about priorities...each has to figure this out for themselves (what their priorities are). For us, the first priority after food, lol is keeping me home. Right now, we are scraping by, but I feel blessed because while we have let go of some really wanted wants, our needs have been met.
Even in all this, we've been able to make our payments for HB and have all the essentials met.

I am of the mindset that when you want/feel something enough, there is a way to make it happen. It may take faith, it may take patience and it will absolutely take work! But it can be done.

We plan on having a large family (this is number four) and have not budgeted for each baby, ect beforehand, but we do try to save money and stay away from debt. It works for us.

Sorry about the novel, but hey! you asked...
post #43 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by longtallanimal View Post
I have a question for all the SAHMs. Did you figure out budget-wise if you could afford this before you had kids? What was your evolution from working to not after you had a baby? Was it part of the plan? DH and I live pretty frugally, with the exception of travel, which is a shared love, and I feel like we could make it work with his income alone, especially since we have no debt and a pretty big savings account. However, I don't want to put all the financial pressure on him, since he has a tendency to stress about money. How did you & your partner figure out that you could make it work, and what kind of lifestyle changes did you make in order to succeed?
First of all: I said I feel lazy because unlike most SAHMs I don't have a long list of hobbies/other things going on. I do when I'm not pregnant but I'm pretty much a slug while gestating. I do the mom thing and not much else most days. This is a huge change for me because most of the time I'm kind of a psycho overachiever. Perspective is everything.

As far as working out the money stuff--my husband makes a lot of money. Before we got married he was dramatically underpaid for his years of experience/job field. I uhhh bullied him into asking for huge pay raises from a couple of jobs in a row. At the salary level he was at pre-marriage we would have had a hard time with me staying home. After the salary hikes he is making just a tiny but under what me + him used to make. He could be making more but he doesn't want to do the specific kinds of programming he would have to do and it's ok.

We lived with one car and a motorcycle for a number of years and only acquired a second vehicle in the last few months. We have very little debt, primarily a mortgage and one other thing that will be paid off by the end of the year (we only started the purchase in March so it's not like we have paid much interest). We live somewhat frugally day-to-day so that we can afford to travel and do fun stuff. But uhm, really he just makes a buttload of money. It's kind of crazy really. (In my defense we live in a craptastic little house that we will never be able to afford to move out of and I'm ok with that because I choose to spend the money we have in much more interesting ways. And our cars are five years old and won't be replaced until they die an ignoble death. I shop thrift stores. We aren't living the high life.)
post #44 of 55
I work in electronics manufacturing for a large defense contractor. Specifically, I route and solder wired connectors inside antenna subassemblies for US Navy aircraft. I promise you, it's not nearly as exciting as it sounds. I spend most of my day sitting at my workstation staring into a microscope. DP does the exact same thing, it's actually how we met

We've figured my 12 weeks of FMLA will be up sometime in mid-November if this baby comes on time and I'm going to stick it out at work until the end of the year for my 2011 vacation/sick entitlement. I'm conserving as much vacation time from my 2010 allotment so that I can ideally go back to work "part time" for those few weeks. DP will still be in school full time and working full time so it's going to be incredibly difficult on me essentially being a single working mom to a young toddler and a newborn.

But after January our plan is to live off of DP's salary while I stay home with the kids and transition back into school myself. DP will have his degree in December so we'll be able to flex whatever needs to be flexed for me to get into a school-family balance that works for us. This will be my 3rd and likely final attempt at getting my electronics engineering degree, so wish me luck! (and patience...and focus...)
post #45 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by longtallanimal View Post
I have a question for all the SAHMs. Did you figure out budget-wise if you could afford this before you had kids? What was your evolution from working to not after you had a baby? Was it part of the plan? DH and I live pretty frugally, with the exception of travel, which is a shared love, and I feel like we could make it work with his income alone, especially since we have no debt and a pretty big savings account. However, I don't want to put all the financial pressure on him, since he has a tendency to stress about money. How did you & your partner figure out that you could make it work, and what kind of lifestyle changes did you make in order to succeed?
The time came for me to return to work, and I couldnt do it. We looked at what DH could make and decided if we eliminated all unnecessary spending and pulled things in really tight, we could do it. FWIW, our GROSS for last year was $24,000 and things have been way more flexible than when I first stopped working. I dont really understand it, but I think we are just used to not spending, and we recognise the flexibility within our budget. IDK.

Our cars have both been paid off for some time. We cashed out my retirement and paid my hospital bills off. We had already paid down any debt before the baby came. The only thing we cant pay is school loans. My husband racked up HUGE loan bills, so we do the income based repayment program now.

DS is on medicaid. We utilize WIC, though we dont get all the food. We will be eligible for food stamps in August, we should be eligible now, but it gets confusing.

I am on medicaid while pregnant. I had a high deductible insurance plan for a while before i got pregnant, but with all the local resources for low income, it just wasnt worth it, so I dropped it and just go without health insurance.

We dont have cable tv. We do pay for internet, and we have cell phones. DH's work pays for his, and mine allows me to talk to my family all I want, so it is completely worth it.

I dont have a big faith based feeling on it. We just decided to make it work. We decided it was more important for me to stay home than to feel more comfortable finacially. We are lucky to have a cars paid off and to have a low morgage payment. If one of our cars dies, we will probably have just one car. We live on a fairly strict budget and really have to stick to it, because the money just isnt there.

I feel bad that we are having another child. We werent planning on it. I feel like I am irresponsible because of it, like we should have been more careful. But, it's done, and I cant take it back although I can say confidently that we will not have any more children.
post #46 of 55
I'm a sahm. I homeschool. I was going to school, but my last day of the semester was Wed. I am planning to return the end of Nov. though.
post #47 of 55
I am a tenured science professor. I run two departments. General science and a degree program in Energy & Science. So I teach a lot and have administrative duties. I am also part-time faculty for another university teaching science, so I can get a tuition discount because I am a full-time doctoral student in Public Health, Epidemiology. It's my third PhD so I'm a bit "over it" right now but I still have to do my clinical trial this summer and finish 2 more classes. Joy. I also am a senior editor for government proposals once a month or so and I run a nutrition consulting business.

Since my due date is August 26th, and classes get out August 21st, I'll be teaching over the summer and hopefully teaching online for fall quarter. I'm not a "stop what I'm doing" kinda gal, so I'm going to try hard to keep life moving as normally as possible, with the addition of a baby girl. We'll see! I am already exhausted and have insomnia so I figure it'll be nothing new in that department
post #48 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by longtallanimal View Post
I have a question for all the SAHMs. Did you figure out budget-wise if you could afford this before you had kids? What was your evolution from working to not after you had a baby? Was it part of the plan? DH and I live pretty frugally, with the exception of travel, which is a shared love, and I feel like we could make it work with his income alone, especially since we have no debt and a pretty big savings account. However, I don't want to put all the financial pressure on him, since he has a tendency to stress about money. How did you & your partner figure out that you could make it work, and what kind of lifestyle changes did you make in order to succeed?
We had decided from very early on (like 5 years before having kids) that I would be staying at home. Before having kids dh worked towards the highest income he could manage (probably lower middle class for the area) and we bought a house that was way under our budget.

Frankly, I couldn't afford to go to work. Between the crappy wage I could pull, daycare, bus fare etc it wouldn't be worth it. Never mind the happiness factor. We are a much, much happier family with someone home full time. The house stays clean, we eat from scratch meals, I manage the finances, grow our garden, homeschool the kids. It just ends up being cheaper for us.
post #49 of 55
I'm a wife to my husband and a mom to my daughter. That keeps me plenty busy.
post #50 of 55
Right now I'm sort of a SAHM, WAHM and have a (very) part time job. I never know what to call myself because I have a pretty good balance of everything. I'd consider myself a SAHM most of all because that's what I spend most of my time doing. I also have 2 etsy shops that are fairly steady and I fill in as a florist at my old job sometimes when they need help (here and there, and I'll be working Mother's Day week. That being said, my husband is definitely the breadwinner. We're not a super traditional couple (he's not afraid to jump in with housework and cooking/taking care of our daughter) but I'd say I do the majority of those things just because I'm home more.
I just finished the book Radical Homemakers and while I'd say I'm not where most of the women featured in the book are *yet*, I'm definitely working towards that lifestyle as a goal. I want to spend my time as a SAHM being more frugal, self sufficient, conscious and earth friendly. I'm just trying to replace some of the behaviors I'm used to right now (line drying instead of using dryer, cooking waaay more instead of eating out, etc.). I'm in awe of a lot of you ladies and how much you've accomplished/how much you tackle in a day.
post #51 of 55
I'm a SAHM and even after 2.5 years I'm still terrible at juggling it all. I spend most of my time outside with my ds letting him learn. We are growing our first small garden this year too. When inside I am usually in the kitchen cooking, but trying to clean up the house too.
post #52 of 55
i'm a sahm and homeschooling. i sew and have an etsy shop, but other than that, i stick to homemaking duties.
post #53 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by graciegal View Post

Since my due date is August 26th, and classes get out August 21st, I'll be teaching over the summer and hopefully teaching online for fall quarter. I'm not a "stop what I'm doing" kinda gal, so I'm going to try hard to keep life moving as normally as possible, with the addition of a baby girl. We'll see! I am already exhausted and have insomnia so I figure it'll be nothing new in that department
How many classes are you planning to teach? I'm a distance education librarian and hang out in online courses (about 25-30 each semester) helping students with research, and I'm planning to do that for the fall semester from home, but I'll hopefully have 4 good pp weeks before it starts, and I only plan to be online 1-2 hours each day.

With my first baby, I was totally overwhelmed for the first few weeks, but then I desperately craved some sense of normalcy for the rest of my 16 wk leave. I'm hoping that this will be a good balance for me, and I hope it will for you, too. I would be a little leery about teaching a full load, though.
post #54 of 55
Really great reading about all of you mamas, and such a wide variety of lifestyles here, I love it!! We are a low (one) income family among many mid and high income ex-pat fams here in Paris, who talk about their gardens and houses, and cars and nannies and housecleaners all the time. It makes me feel even more isolated even though they speak english.
We live in the Paris burbs in a small apt. I'm trying desperately to grow a couple strawberries on my windowsill and daydream about one day having a beautiful garden like I once did in Oregon.
I'm a SAHM with a hope of becoming a WAHM sewing cloth diapers or even just finding any job with my horrible level of French. Just seeking motivation and inspiration!!
Living in Paris is not as glamourous as it sounds. Getting around with a stroller and a growing baby belly on pub trans just about brings me to tears everytime I leave the house. The metro is nothing but stairs and more stairs.
Even a simple thing like bringing my DD to the local library isn't an enjoyable activity because everything is in French.
Ugh, I know I sound like I have total culture shock, but I've been in europe for 4 years and used to be independent and active in the states, and here I just feel really isolated and don't have much to do but housework and taking DD to the playground.
I do have to say I am extremely grateful to the 2x a week very high quality child care that is almost free if you don't count that half my DH's pay is taken in taxes.
I look forward to moving back to the states after this baby is born, where things are much more affordable and DH can have a more satisfying job, and my children and I can have more opportunites too.
I used to work in mental health, then worked towards my masters in Forest Science before stopping to move to europe.
I did a half year program/internship on agri-tourism/wine & olive oil production, in Italy 2 years ago. LOVED the field, but no opportunities in it here in the burbs.
In the meantime of all my daydreams and frustrations, I try my best to make the best of what I have, and experience the good things about France. I've learned so much since being here about different culture, acceptance, new languages and food! Working towards using my time more wisely, living simply, getting more housework/ cooking done and to hopefully start up this crazy business idea that may just get me out of the funk.
post #55 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by AmyKT View Post
How many classes are you planning to teach? I'm a distance education librarian and hang out in online courses (about 25-30 each semester) helping students with research, and I'm planning to do that for the fall semester from home, but I'll hopefully have 4 good pp weeks before it starts, and I only plan to be online 1-2 hours each day.

With my first baby, I was totally overwhelmed for the first few weeks, but then I desperately craved some sense of normalcy for the rest of my 16 wk leave. I'm hoping that this will be a good balance for me, and I hope it will for you, too. I would be a little leery about teaching a full load, though.
Over the summer I will have 2 12-week online Nutrition courses and 4 6-week misc courses (enviro sci, nutrition, biology) at my second university teaching job. I too am looking forward to keeping it "normal." Fall quarter I'll have 3 at my tenure college (12 weeks) and then maybe cut back to only 1 "extra" for the 6-week university term. Whenever I have just one day of "nothing" I'm always so ready to get back to work!!

I'm glad you can keep doing what you're doing, too! It keeps the mind sharp, the resume moving forward, and life as fun as possible I think!
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