i HATE the hours between 11 PM and 300 AM: life with BFing almost 1 year olds

[jaxma]

me and my twins have had a rough go of the bedtime to 3 AM hours for the past month or so and I am at wit's end (broke down crying last night because I am so exhausted) wondering what I am doing wrong...

a brief background, they will be 1 next week and were born a month early. they are eating a few meals a day and still only getting breastmilk for liquid. i express milk 2-3 times a week depending on school requirements...but otherwise nurse on demand...i have noticed that i am producing less milk when i express but try to tell myself they get more when they do it themselves...

they are happy during the day and take 1 2-4 hour nap.

we had this issue early on and I changed my diet which helped...now, I probably have something with cow's milk protein 1-2x's a week and soy 4x's a week...

when bedtime hits, i nurse them on my throne in dim light - they both fall asleep at the breast, I can feel and hear that they got milk in their bellies, and when we attempt to transfer them to bed they wake up start crying and I begin a flip-flop routine for the next 4 hours of trying to nurse them back to sleep. i've tried nursing them both in bed to minimize the transfer disruption and nursing one at a time while the other hangs out with DH....but still end up non-stop nursing until the wee hours of the AM. my breasts feel totally deflated by 1 AM.

I am desperate for 4 straight hours of sleep.

am I not making enough milk? do they need to eat more solid food? is it just developmental? is it my mirena IUD? teething? food allergies?

any thoughts wise MoMs?

[shahjehan]

It is so hard s. I could have written this post so many times between ages one and two. It was totally normal and developmental with my kids. I had the Mirena and got it out, ate dairy or didn't, drank coffee or drank wine, and it made no difference. Which doesn't make it any easier. They may be going through a growth spurt, teething, or about to hit some new developmental milestone. Either way, you are meeting their needs perfectly right now by nursing them when they ask to.

Be gentle with yourself. Relax you expectations for everything. Eat what you want. Complain to anyone that will listen and support you (including DH). It will change soon, just like everything.

You know your babies better than anybody. If there were something really wrong, you would know. They are probably just wakeful right now, and there are two of them so you get half as much sleep as the average momma. FWIW, my babies nurse to sleep now at 8:00 and sleep through until 4:00 almost every night. I'm sure it will change soon .

[verycozy]

This is just a shot in the dark, but is it possible that they're overtired? What you're describing (nursing happily to sleep, then waking up upset when put in the crib/bed, repeat, repeat, repeat) is exactly what my kids do when they're overtired.

Around this age a bedtime routine (bath-book-boob) kind of helped with my oldest but it took a few weeks for it to sink into his head . I don't know how that works with twins.

If they're happy during the day, then it doesn't sound to me like food allergies or your IUD or even low supply, but other mamas here might know better.

Good luck!

[dividedsky]

this sounds oh so familiar! mine are almost 15mos, it's gotten better, but they still do it sometimes. it definitely peaked around 1yr.

i found that they actually needed a touch more awake time if they were doing that. so instead of trying to nurse them down a billion times over and over (and making myself insane in the process) i try twice tops. often, the second go does the job. if not, i let whoever is not staying down stay up to hang out. if he's pleasant and playing ok, then i wait until he seems a little more sleepy and then try again. if he's awful (overtired), then i'll take him to nurse laying down in bed. for some reason, it seems to get them to sleep better than football style with the pillows and etc. then i transfer to the crib.

it is getting better for me. i know it sucks. hang in there!! are they teething really bad? that could definitely be it. i know one of my sons tends to get several teeth in at a time and he's absolutely miserable often because of it... tylenol before bed helps.

[f&p'smama]

Originally Posted by verycozy

This is just a shot in the dark, but is it possible that they're overtired? What you're describing (nursing happily to sleep, then waking up upset when put in the crib/bed, repeat, repeat, repeat) is exactly what my kids do when they're overtired.

Around this age a bedtime routine (bath-book-boob) kind of helped with my oldest but it took a few weeks for it to sink into his head . I don't know how that works with twins.

If they're happy during the day, then it doesn't sound to me like food allergies or your IUD or even low supply, but other mamas here might know better.

Good luck!

That's what I was thinking, too. I don't remember with my twins, but that's what my singleton does when he is over-tired at bedtime. I nurse him lying down, because there's only one of him, but he wakes up a gazillion times looking for mama. Perhaps you could try an earlier bedtime and see how it goes?

[lilysmama1124]

Oh mama I could have written this. The flip flop nurse to sleep is making me nuts. I got 2 hours of combined sleep in 15 minute increments last night. I have found my babies sleep better some nights if they co-sleep with my Dh and I am in another room because if they see, hear, or smell me they want to nurse. I will say that they have improved since we had them allergy tested and they tested positive for dairy, eggs, and peanuts. Since we eliminated those things from my diet and theirs they are sleeping better. Fortunately my DH will take them for 4 hours occasionally and give them bottles or hold them off so I get some sleep when I get to the point that I am losing it! s:

[lilysmama1124]

Just wanted to clarify that I do nurse on demand but sometimes hte girls will fuss in Dh's arms for 2-3 minutes and then pass out which tells me they aren't hungry just want to comfort nurse which I am not against but sometimes I just have to go to sleep. If they stay upset I nurse them back down. Sometimes we also do divide and conquer nad each take one so they don't wake each other up. DH just brings me the one he has when she wakes to nurse and then takes them back with him we she is done.

[cdahlgrd]

I know exactly what you are going through. For us, I finally had to night wean them and as an above poster said, set up a bedtime routine. It wasn't an overnight solution, but it helped, especially because someone else could comfort them back to sleep.

Our boys were still waking up TONS at 4, so we had them checked, and it turned out their adnoids were obstructing their sleep. So after surgery, life has been a little better. So, sometimes it is a physical thing without any "symptoms" besides constant waking.

I would try to cut back on the nap (3 hours max) then work on a very regular bedtime routine (write it down) that maybe Dad is in charge of. And work on getting them to sleep without nursing and through the night without nursing. I waited until 15 months to do this, and it was BAD for my health (I ended up with pneumonia).

And GET SOME HELP during the day, so you can nap.!! I found the year between 1-2 harder than the first year, and with NO HELP. Everyone loved holding the babies, but a tantruming toddler. . . not so much, sigh.

[dividedsky]

^^mine are 15mos. how on earth do you night wean them? if i deny them the boob at night they completely freak out. and they are not interested in dh at night, in the slightest.

i'd love to nightwean (which would have them weaned completely) but honestly don't know how. is it easier to wait until ~18mos?