2 year old refuses to get dressed!

[tracyjean1016]

I know this is probably normal...but some advice from parents who have been there (even if it's just to tell me that it will pass!) is welcome.

For the past month or so, it has been a huge battle getting DS (27 months) dressed and out the door. I think part of this has been my fault, as I don't force getting dressed in the morning, so pretty much when he wakes up he takes off his diaper and spends the rest of the day naked until we need to go somewhere. I initially started giving him lots of naked time because he seemed really interested in the potty, and the good thing is, he will go about 75% of the time when we are at home. Plus, I don't see any reason for him to wear clothes in the privacy of our own home, as long as he's not cold and it doesn't bother him. However, I think this might have set the stage for some epic battles regarding getting dressed - he simply WILL NOT get dressed without a fight. I have tried the following:

- having him pick out his own clothes - even if it means he wears pajamas, I don't care at this point
- giving him plenty of warning before we need to begin getting dressed...everything from "ok we can read one book / watch one video / have a snack / draw a picture / play with toys until the timer beeps" (I will set it for 5 minutes) / etc
- give him plenty of choices, i.e. "do you want to get dressed in the bedroom or in the living room? lying down or sitting up? do you want to put your pants on or do you want me to do it for you?" etc
- if the errand is something that I need to do that might not necessarily be fun for him, like going to the post office or something, letting him know that we will also do something fun for him, like go to the park (and I keep my promise so it's not like I just say it to try and get him out the door!)

...and it STILL doesn't work. For example, last week I had to take my husband to the airport (an essential trip as he couldn't miss his flight, obviously) and I had to literally wrestle a diaper and a shirt on him at the last minute (didn't even bother with pants). I felt awful, but what could I do?
Even getting dressed to go play outside our own home is an issue. He always is asking to go play outside, but when I tell him that he needs to get dressed in order to do so (it is still not warm enough here to run around naked), it's no go.

He seems happy to just play at home all day, and I am respectful of that so I have backed off of most fun things that he used to like to go do (the indoor play park, playing a friends' houses, going to the library) but there are still some times when I simply need to leave the house and I don't want there to be an hour of crying and possible emotional trauma every time.

Any advice? I know that it's not an uncommon problem, but does it ever just go away on its own? Will he magically want to get dressed and go places again or are we going to be prisoners in our house forever? Thanks!

[malayasmommy]

There must be something "special" about that 27 month mark, as that's where my daughter is with SO many things! And unfortunately I don't have much advice, I'm more here to tell you you're not alone!

One thing I HAVE found that speeds things up is if I ask her to put on clothes and she refuses, then I say "OK, mommy is going to go in the kitchen and do dishes (vacuum, listen to music, etc.) and you can tell me when you are ready to put on clothes". As much as I hate to admit it, I think she gets something out of me getting upset--then it becomes a bit of a power struggle. I pretty much do my own thing and while I don't ignore her, we don't play until she gets dressed. She usually chooses that she wants my attention and she knows she needs to put on clothes if she wants to play with me.

I know that it will probably take a good 20-30 min to get her PJ's off, diaper changed, and go through this little routine to get her clothes on so I try to allow for that.

But it doesn't always work. Sometimes I just have to do what you did, and force clothes on her if we *have* to be somewhere. It stinks, but I'm a little bit lost just like you are...

[almadianna]

my three and a half year old still does this.

[ElsieLC]

We are in your parallel universe! I have tried all those gentle respectful parenting things also and nothing has worked...in fact, all the options/negotiating/understanding attempts just seem to prolong it. DD is like this with meals, using the toilet, and all the other necessary things in life BUT once they are under way, she is fine.

What works is for me to power through it. I have started telling DD "we're going not going to fuss during clothes time" and I just wrestle into her clothes as fast as possible. And when there's a lull in the caterwauling, I say, "Thank you for cooperating! That makes getting dressed go faster!" as if she were being gracious the whole time. That seems to change her focus.

[LindsC]

Yep. Totally normal. DS was the same way and he still has some days now at almost 3 years old, where he does not want to get dressed. I'm sure it is something that will pass. I just always gave him the option to choose his clothes and if he still refused, I picked something out and quickly got him dressed so that we could do whatever we needed to do.

[puddle]

When DD went through that phase, I dressed her in her day clothes at night after her bath the night before we had to go somewhere and kept them on her until we were home the next day.

[anudi01]

Btdt

1.) I def. did (and still do at times) the dress at night after bath for the next day.

2.) I used to get into this whole thing about okay, time to get dressed, we need to leave, yadda, yadda, but that's when I got the resistance. I realized after a long time, that if I just started to engage them in another activity, like sing an interactive song, or do a silly dance, and then just started putting the clothes on...I didn't get the resistance as much. It didn't (doesn't) always work...but it works most of the time.