Need help reminding myself HB ok...

[turnquia]

Ok let me start off by saying I know HB is safe. And that its normal in a LOT of places.

however as a nurse... my head ALWAYS goes to the what ifs and the worst case scenarios. Lets face it... thats how I've been trained to think.

I planned a homebirth with DS however it didn't happen. Somewhat due to fear and some financial because of some preterm labor issues we paid a huge deductible already so just went with a natural hospital birth.

I really want a homebirth, this time. It feels so normal to me. However... then the nurse brain kicks in. And I doubt myself. Not to mention once the family finds out... ugh. They totally think I'm nutso. But oh well

Anyways just need some help remembering i'm not crazy. Maybe some good articles to read or soemthing I don't know.

[DaniMama]

Have you read the birth stories in Ina May's Guide to Childbith? They're very inspiring.

[S.Elise]

I think the same way as you do, so before my HB I had to keep reminding myself that by doing what I was doing, I was doing better than just preparing for the worst -- I was minimizing the chances that something bad would happen in the first place, and also creating a contingency plan in case the worst happens.

It would be wonderful if hospitals were designed around the needs of women in labor (privacy, quiet, midwives attending, freedom of movement and general relaxed tone, use of interventions only when truly needed or wanted), and also had operating rooms hidden away, too. The sad fact is, the hospital environment as it currently is causes many of the problems that we fear. By staying away unless needed, you have made the chance of something bad occurring much less!

Good luck achieving your HB, if that's what you decide to do.

[turnquia]

Danielle I have read both of the Ina May books. I love the stories and they are inspiring... some of them truely made me chuckle... (especially the spiritual midwifery book... as a nurse the terms Ina May used made it hard to read, because it made me instantly feel like it was very much "lay" written.) However the guide to childbirth was wonderful. I much more love the awesomely detailed birth stories here.

Lauren, Your right I have to keep remembering many of the reasons I am choosing a homebirth is because a hospital can create more issues sometimes. Let alone the staff are sometimes total PITA to deal with. (Not all, I've had good and bad experiences from different people).

I'm thinking I need to just keep watching homebirth videos, BOBB, and a few others just to keep reminding myself.

[phillychiquita]

For me....

I had my first at home. Go to the prenatal appointments with a homebirth midwife and then go to an OB and it reminds you why you are choosing homebirth - its drastically different.
During the birth, its a private, respectful event, and you'll be thankful for the peace of having chosen homebirth.

I will also tell you that the postpartum experience of having my baby, being tucked into bed with her and my husband and being LEFT ALONE, with no fear mongering, lots of "beautiful healthy baby" energy with lots of visits, attention, etc.. after to make sure all was going well, was well worth the choice and the aggravation of judging family and friends who thought I was crazy.

be confident mama. Homebirth is a wonderful, warm, healthy experience and you will be thankful for having chosen it.z

[cileag]

Been there! I'm a L & D nurse so it was really a challenge to try to keep my nurse hat off while preparing for my home birth. I found the most encouragement by just reading birth stories---I would read one or two a night from either something online, or in Ina May, or other birth prep books. It was also very reassuring that the Canadian study came during my pregnancy--so I could surrepticiously leave it out at work and give the gals at work something to think about.

Do you have a real life community of folks you can get support from? There's a very active home birth community near me, but I also got lots of encouragement from a prenatal yoga series.

And lastly, I did spend some serious time creating parameters for myself about under what circumstances I'd consider transfer. Focusing on positive stories was important for the last month or so, but prior to that I needed to confront some of my fears and figure out some action plans. Discussing those things with my midwife was really important--and she was great at recognizing that I probably was more conservative than other clients and more likely to transfer.

And all that worry was for nothing--I had a lovely textbook waterbirth at 41 and 3 days pregnant lasting approx. 14 hours with 25 minutes of pushing. 7 lbs 8 oz and apgars of 9 and 10. Stay strong and optimistic!

[***edgar]

You know, it doesn't have to be either/or..Well, except there is only 1 place you can give birth!
But if accepting a few interventions helps to ease your mind and make you feel better than consider it. For example, it may make you feel better to ask you m/w to put a heplock in.
I myself am in the medical field, and planned a homebirth and transported due to PPROM. I had minimal intervention during my pregnancy.
For my next pregnancy, I plan to ask my midwife to have cytotec on hand for PPH (which I had last time), and I am considering asking for a heplock (hey if it is irritating me, we can always take it out).
I will also test for GDM using a home monitor, and I might even have a triple screen because of my age!
I CAN have it my way!

[onlyboys]

I found it helpful to list the scary scenarios that were most present in my mind, and then speak to my midwife about them. I won't list my fears here (so as not to freak you out more) but just giving them a name, and discussing them made me feel so much better. In the end, I had a gorgeous home waterbirth.

[nashvillemidwife]

Cold hard facts.

[morgainesmama]

Remind yourself that most of the horror stories we hear about birth are iatrogenic. You are far more likely to have "complications" in a hospital.

That many hospitals (including my local hospitals) don't have obstetricians in-house 24 hours -- that after hours, they are on-call, as are the anesthesiologists. So, for me, even if I were giving birth in a hospital, a medically emergent c-section would still involve transportation and pagers for the docs, anesthesiologists, and surgical nurses.

That you minimize your risks through education, nutrition, and mindfulness, and that the risk is so close to naught -- that most emergencies come with warning.

That you will probably labor shorter and far more efficiently at home, with less risk to your baby.

And, that you can change your mind if you decide to. If it comes time to have the baby, and you are feeling a lot of anxiety/fear or have intuition that tells you you are not safe, you can go to the hospital.

Fear is so normal -- if you can get your hands on Dick Grantley-Read's "Childbirth Without Fear," it's old but wonderful.