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Maybe moving from TX to NYC lots of questions

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 
My husband has been offered a job in NYC. He will be losing his job in TX in 6 to 10 months. So we are really considering the move to say the least. He would be working in the city so we would probably rent near his work. Haven't quite figured out where we would live just yet.

So things in TX are so different I can hardly even comprehend how we would even get around. I know we would take public trans so how do things like car seats work? DD is about to turn 2yr old. Also would any one recommend a stroller? We have a chico umbrella but we don't use it often and I am guessing we would use a stroller much more.

Right now we have a 1638 square ft house full of furniture and toys. We would probably sell most of our things and buy new/used stuff once we got there and could get things to fit our space better.

Does everyone just take there kids to places like parks to play?
What do people do with the kiddos during the winter? Hard to even imagine walking to buy groceries in the snow.. Speaking of groceries I know this will sound stupid. But are there grocery stores? Or is it more like markets?

Any other tips anyone would have. I know if we turn this new page in our lives I am in for major shock.

Oh and one other thing this might be a little personal for some but for those that are stay at home moms what does DH make and what area of the city/ near the city do you live? DH will probably be making around 80k a year maybe a little more so we are trying to figure out if that would even be possible for me to still be a stay at home mom. I didn't go to college so I wouldn't be a lot of help if I worked.

Oh also we don't vax and have never had any problems. We are planning to home school. Would we run into an issues with this in NY? or just your regular stuff.
post #2 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by TsuaSai View Post
My husband has been offered a job in NYC. He will be losing his job in TX in 6 to 10 months. So we are really considering the move to say the least. He would be working in the city so we would probably rent near his work. Haven't quite figured out where we would live just yet.

So things in TX are so different I can hardly even comprehend how we would even get around. I know we would take public trans so how do things like car seats work? DD is about to turn 2yr old. Also would any one recommend a stroller? We have a chico umbrella but we don't use it often and I am guessing we would use a stroller much more.
I like having 2 strollers--a bigger one for around the neighborhood and lugging groceries, etc. (I have a Phil and Ted, but that's bc I used to have 2 kids in it; anything with big durable tires will do)--and a lightweight fast fold one that can go on the subway, etc. (umbrella or maclaren). You don't want a big stroller for public transit bc it has to be folded to go on the bus, hard to do up and down subway steps. You can do a zipcar membership which lets you rent a car for as short as an hour, which works for shorter trips in the general area.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TsuaSai View Post
Right now we have a 1638 square ft house full of furniture and toys. We would probably sell most of our things and buy new/used stuff once we got there and could get things to fit our space better.

Does everyone just take there kids to places like parks to play?
What do people do with the kiddos during the winter?
Yes, lots of parks. Depending on where you live, if you're in parts of Queens, Brooklyn, Bronx, there will be small backyards as well. In the winter, you can do indoor playgrounds/playspaces at a lot of libraries, ymcas, churches, and private places.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TsuaSai View Post
Hard to even imagine walking to buy groceries in the snow.. Speaking of groceries I know this will sound stupid. But are there grocery stores? Or is it more like markets?
Depends on the neighborhood, and it won't be giant grocery stores like you're likely used to in Texas, but there are decent size grocery-but-not-household-goods store even in Manhattan (household stuff is more often at drug stores). There's also Fresh Direct, which delivers groceries to your door. You can look them up online and look around. They're good for some basics like milk, but really expensive for stuff like baked goods and chocolate. Sometimes people organize a zipcar and 3-4 people to go to Costco or Fairway ("gourmet" grocery store).

Quote:
Originally Posted by TsuaSai View Post
Any other tips anyone would have. I know if we turn this new page in our lives I am in for major shock.

Oh and one other thing this might be a little personal for some but for those that are stay at home moms what does DH make and what area of the city/ near the city do you live? DH will probably be making around 80k a year maybe a little more so we are trying to figure out if that would even be possible for me to still be a stay at home mom. I didn't go to college so I wouldn't be a lot of help if I worked.
I'll pm you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by TsuaSai View Post
Oh also we don't vax and have never had any problems. We are planning to home school. Would we run into an issues with this in NY? or just your regular stuff.
You'll want to look up some of the specifics on vaxes in NY. From what I understand, you do have to be careful, as there is only a religious exemption and it has to be to all vaccines. There's a letter example on some homeschooling/vax websites I believe. Homeschooling it's supposed to be one of the stricter states, but NYC seems to be pretty straightforward. I don't file for homeschooling until next year, though! You don't need to file until the calendar year your child is 6. NYCHEA and http://www.homeschoolnyc.com/ are very useful to see what you need to do.
post #3 of 13
Carseats- we have one but we don't have a car so it's only used on the rare occasion that we rent a car (we keep the seat at DH's office). We uses taxes and they don't require carseats.

Totting a toddler- We wear DD on public transportation, never bother with a stroller much and she's 28 lbs. We've also already started getting her used to walking places by holding our hand but that only works for walking around the block. We have a jogging stroller, which is pretty much just used for jogging.

Space- definitely sell everything. Apts are SMALL here. There's two IKEAS in NJ that I would suggest getting a lot of furniture at. We just rented a van for a day and picked up everything on one shot.

Activities- yes, LOTS of park time. There are parks everywhere (we live in between 3 major parks) and go at least once a day. We also do playgroups. Many moms do stuff like Gymboree, music classes, etc but we don't have the $$. There's an indoor playground near to where we lived that we went to a lot and the children's museum too for the winter. Also book stores are another big hit.

Groceries- everywhere delivers (all for free except for whole foods) so we just wear DD in the store, put her in the shopping cart get everything we need and have them deliver it afterwards. The stores are small except for whole foods.

Income- we make WAY under that. I'm a student (so WAHM) and DH is a postdoc. We live in UWS in university housing. If I had to pick somewhere I'd probably go with WIlliamsburg because I like the area and you can get more for your buck there. UES is going to be the most expensive. Also Inwood/Washington Heights will have more affordable housing too.

I know a good no-vax pro-breastfeeding doc in the UWS if you want the name. Not sure about homeschooling too much because DD is too young but I do know they have some groups that meetup.

That's all i can think of, let me know if you have any other questions.
post #4 of 13
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by physmom View Post
Activities- yes, LOTS of park time. There are parks everywhere (we live in between 3 major parks) and go at least once a day. We also do playgroups. Many moms do stuff like Gymboree, music classes, etc but we don't have the $$. There's an indoor playground near to where we lived that we went to a lot and the children's museum too for the winter. Also book stores are another big hit.
Good to know never heard of an indoor playground really Guessing they cost to get into? We would maybe do something like gymboree later on when we got used to our new budget.







Quote:
Originally Posted by physmom View Post
Groceries- everywhere delivers (all for free except for whole foods) so we just wear DD in the store, put her in the shopping cart get everything we need and have them deliver it afterwards. The stores are small except for whole foods.
Thanks very good to know never heard of places delivering, lol. I feel so country... But I kept wondering how in the world I would get my food home with a 2 year old.

Quote:
Originally Posted by physmom View Post
Income- we make WAY under that. I'm a student (so WAHM) and DH is a postdoc. We live in UWS in university housing. If I had to pick somewhere I'd probably go with WIlliamsburg because I like the area and you can get more for your buck there. UES is going to be the most expensive. Also Inwood/Washington Heights will have more affordable housing too.
Also very good to know. I was really worried that me being a SAHM wouldn't even be possible. Do they have agents or people your can higher and tell them would you want to pay and they help you find it? I am thinking we would come first of course and look for a place to live but I am sure we could only come for a few days.

Quote:
Originally Posted by physmom View Post
I know a good no-vax pro-breastfeeding doc in the UWS if you want the name. Not sure about homeschooling too much because DD is too young but I do know they have some groups that meetup.
I'll be in touch if it really looks like we are going to go. As far as homeschooling goes we could be back in Texas before that happens for all I know. I am hoping if we move I can maybe get into some kind of play group and just hoping I can meet people at parks and such. I figure the best way to learn the area will be by making a friend or two.
post #5 of 13
There are real estate places that will help you find rentals. There are lots of scams too. I don't know what the market is like for rentals right now. It couldn't hurt to call one of the bigger rental agencies like Corcoran or CitiHabitats and let them know that you're looking at moving, a general date, and ask when you should ideally start looking for an apartment. (When we moved here, it was pointless to look if you wanted a start date more than 2 weeks away because landlords wouldn't wait.)

When you're really looking, it might be better to find a smaller rental agency that knows the neighborhood you're looking to rent in, as the big places seem to have the more expensive listings, but it's a place to start.
post #6 of 13
Welcome to NYC! You have gotten some excellent tips, but I just wanted to say that in general, I think this is the best place in the world to have kids...you just have to get used to it.

For me, life revolves around my stroller. It pays to invest in a good one with plenty of room for your shopping, and one that can fit down narrow aisles, like a Phil and Ted's. Its sort of like your car when you live in the city, so don't feel too bad about paying for a good one. A big consideration is whether you will have an elevator or stairs at your apartment/house. It is difficult to haul a stroller, kids and bags up a staircase, so you will probably need to find a first floor apt or one with an elevator.

Shopping-wise, I order everything that's too big to carry -- water bottles, paper towels and toilet paper, olive oil (all from fresh direct) and diapers (from diapers.com). Everything else (like fresh veg, meat and fish) I buy either from local supermarkets (yes, we have them) or smaller vendors like the local fish market or butcher. LOTS of markets/stores will also deliver if you don't like to shop online...you just go in and shop, and then they bring your stuff.

Transportation-wise, try to find a neighborhood that you don't need to leave on a daily basis with the kids. Yes, I take my kids on the bus/subway, but no, it is not fun when you have more than one small child per adult. But in my daily life, I can walk everywhere I need to go, and take the subway or a car only for special trips. I love my neighborhood and rarely need to leave to go anywhere that I can't walk to. For getting out of the city to visit friends in the suburbs or taking trips to the countryside, you just rent a car.

There are so many wonderful, kid-centered neighborhoods here, so picking one that fits your needs and personality will be key. And many of the kid-friendly neighborhoods have amazing online parenting groups that are just so helpful when getting settled or just living as a parent. Here's a list of parenting groups.

http://www.parkslopeparents.com/inde...d=140&Itemid=1

Best of luck with your move!

Lauren (Kasper, 2 and Felix, 3 months)
post #7 of 13
Sorry, just wanted to add on rentals. I highly recommend looking on Craigslist, and I recommend starting to look at listings online about three months before moving to get to know the market, but sending one of you to actually go to showings one month before the move date. Things move FAST in the NY rental market, and I think 90% of people find their place in days 1-5 of the month before they move. You should come to showings with a folder of documents to show the landlord, including last year's tax return, pay check stubs for the last few months, a letter from DH's employer saying what his salary is/will be, and bank statements showing your assets. You will need these for your application, and may lose a good place to someone else who has them at the ready if you take a few days to out them together.

So basically one of you should plan to spend about 5 days hitting the streets, spending all day looking at apartments and applying for ones you like, and then reading Craigslist at night and doing it all over again the next morning. Yes, it sucks, but for several reasons using a "dedicated broker" is a really crappy way of finding rentals in New York.

One way to avoid broker fees and general crap is to check the "apartments by owner" listings on Craigslisr. Especially in my area (Park Slope, Brooklyn) a lot of families have an extra apartment in their house and rent them using Craigslist. Personally, I think this is nicer and cheaper than dealing with large, corporate landlords.

GOOD LUCK!

Lauren
post #8 of 13
You've gotten some great advice! NYC can be a fabulous place to live and it can also be very overwhelming at times, but overall I think the good really outweighs the bad.

Even if DH is working in Manhattan, you may want to consider other parts of the city - even in some of the outer boroughs you will find more space for better prices than in Manhattan. I lived in Manhattan when I moved to NYC and finally moved to Brooklyn (Park Slope) where we got a bigger apartment for about the same price as in Manhattan. A lot of the neighborhoods in downtown Brooklyn area are very close to a ton a of transportation so getting to work wouldn't be a problem for DH.

There is a huge Fairway (with a parking lot and everything) in Red Hook, Brooklyn - there is also an Ikea there.

I agree with PP who mentioned Craig's List or just looking around in the neighborhoods you are considering - using a broker/agent can be a big pain in the neck. Will the company your husband will be working for assist you with any of the relocation? Rentals in the city move really fast!

We got rid of our car and rent when we need to go someplace - we have a zipcar membership and it works really well for what we need most times.

NYS is pretty tough with vaccines - it's an all or nothing state with only a religious or medical exemption - you can check out this link www.CFIC.us for more info on vaccines. there are a lot of peds who will kick you out of the practice for not vaccinating, but you just have to look around to find one who is supportive.

Good luck!
post #9 of 13
Thread Starter 
Wow thanks lots more great info. I am hoping his company will help us with relocating and finding a place. They are and international company so they deal with this sort of thing all the time. We are suppose to be hearing from them this week to get all the detail so we can figure out if its worth moving for.

Thanks stella.rose on the tips for renting would have never thought of bring all that stuff. This will be my first time to ever rent anything in my whole life. When I was a kid we always owned and as an adult got married and bought a house. So this is all new to me along with the rest of it.

We haven't vaxed at all yet and don't plan too. When it comes time for school it would be something I would be willing to relocate on if it became that much of an issue. For now we still have a few years to thinking about it all...
post #10 of 13
Also, a note on rentals--at most places your annual salary will have to be 40x the rent. Otherwise you will need a guarantor, usually one in the tristate area. Some require 50 times, and some are much more flexible on the 40x rule. I rent off of CraigsList, and I have had great experiences. As a PP mentioned, the market moves fast, so you should be ready to rent when you look at places.

Finding the right neighborhood is key. If it meets your needs, then you will love it. And the beauty of NYC is that there are so many kinds of neighborhoods. You can find an area that has the amenities you want. Yes, you walk in the rain and snow to get groceries and do other things, but you have your gear and you make it happen.

You are going to be able to rent a much bigger apartment in an outer borough, though still small relative to the normal living space in the U.S. of course. The average price of a two-bedroom in Manhattan is around 2-3x+ what I pay for a two-bedroom in Brooklyn (and I am directly next to a market and the train and buses with a tiny backyard). Overall, I also found it hard to rent true 2 bedrooms in Manhattan except with a very high price point and in newer buildings, but I did see some workable 1 bedrooms that had been converted in 2 bedrooms.

If you are considered outside of Manhattan, Astoria and Long Island City in Queens and Fort Greene, Brooklyn Heights, Clinton Hill, Carroll Gardens, Cobble Hill and Boerum Hill in Brooklyn are all very livable neighborhoods and quick commutes into Manhattan.

There are a lot of free options for kids as well so in winter it's not limited to just paid, indoor play spaces.

My son is not vaxed, and he attends public school. It has not been a problem.
post #11 of 13
Another thing to consider is moving to Jersey. The rent is a whole lot less in Jersey. Many people commute. And there are NO homeschooling laws to deal with here. You can get a train easily from most major towns around here. For groceries we love our Peapod man. I am handicapped so I just can't walk around the stores and such. But I can go on my computer, pick out the food I want and then tell them when to deliver it. Cost is only $6.95 if you have an order of over $150. We make that easily. Then they give discounts for using your bank account to pay and for certain delivery times.

Welcome to the area.

Kathi
post #12 of 13
Thread Starter 
Thanks I think to start if we move we would probably like and area like Brooklyn at least until we get the hang of things. We still have three years before we have to think about what school in which case we could move to Jersey then. I hadn't really thought about that I just thought we just move back to Texas some how But that would work real nice. We are still up in the air on what we want to do. Leaving all our friends and family is a lot to consider.
post #13 of 13
i have to put in a plug for washington heights/inwood. though you are better off staying west of broadway, generally speaking. it's quieter. i'm on the northern tip of manhattan and it's pretty easy to get around, half the island up here is parkland and it's full of young families. we have a good sized two bedroom for 1300/month.
if it's an option (6 apartments or more in the building) get a rent stabalized unit. just ask if it is. you have more legal protections that way. and please screen places here first, on the lower right side.
http://www.nyc.gov/html/hpd/html/pr/violation.shtml

our first nyc apt had bedbugs. but if we had looked on that website, we would have been forewarned.
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