Can someone help me budget/financial plan? It's a wreck..

[WindyCityMom]

I feel like I am losing my mind. Right now, my husband is the only one working. He is currently working 6 days a week (they gave him more hours) and he works retail and is commission based. He gets paid every other friday, and so far this year the average per check has been $450. So that's $900/mo.

Our rent is $500, due on the 1st of the month. We rent from my MIL so it is flexible (when we give it to her, not the amt.), but she does need it because she is currently unemployed. Included in our rent are our phones and internet, so we're very thankful.

We owe on two different credit cards
CC#1: about $3400
CC#2: about $900

We recently paid off a ton of debt with our tax refund, but this is left over.

My husband pays about $40/mo for gas for his car. We grocery shop pretty much every time he gets paid, and that goes anywhere from $60-$100 per week, so $120-$200 per month.

Aside from C.C payments, we are left with a total of $160. That is barely enough to cover payments.. currently the minimum due on CC#1 is $75.00. CC#2 has 12mos no interest, which is about $75 per month as well. That leaves us with $10- that's it.

And after that, we delve into the negatives. My DH buys lunch at work every.single.day despite the fact that I leave leftovers for dinner for him in the fridge. I don't think he wants his coworkers to know that we're broke. We're both about to turn 20. He works with people in their 20s and there is alot of competition. The 900 on the one credit card is because my DH decided to buy a new computer even though his works fine (just getting old and again, he's been in "competition"). He keeps spending. I don't know how to curb it. He bought a computer, two hard drives, a keyboard and mouse for the new computer, a new monitor, wires and hookups for it... another issue is that he is in constant competition with his friends at work as far as his vehicle goes. He bought two 18" subwoofers from his cousin for $150, speakers and a stereo for $300, and an amplifier for $150. That's $600! That exceeds the value of his car. I fear that this is going to continue, and I know that that is something that is going to have to be between my DH and I. I just had to kind of elaborate on where our debt comes from. I admit that I have contriubted a bit (cloth diapers and such) but that was an investment and has saved us SOO much because I don't know what we'd do if we had to keep buying disposables and wipes.

so.. can anyone help me out? Right now I am not in the position to work, there is nobody I can trust to leave my kids with (seriously). I am nursing my baby full time and that is hard in itself. I would get a night job (baby sleeps 7hrs on a good night) but my DH has sleep apnea and for some reason just does not wake up for anything. He sleeps so heavily and I'm afraid to leave him alone with the children in case of a fire, or a break in...

I have been doing some searching for another job for my husband since he's working 6 days a week and says he's "burned out" and isn't functioning at his job (which is understanable but in our circumstances that just can't happen )

Everything would be just peachy if we hadn't gotten ourselves into debt. My mother died when I was 16, bio-Father (who I moved in with, didn't really know him before my mom died) kicked me out on my 18th birthday, and we had essentially nothing- we got what we needed but went overboard. I worked from 9/08-4/09, when I became pregnant with DD2, got put on bedrest and had to stay home with my older daughter after that because I simply can NOT trust anybody to watch her.

Sorry for rambling... I've just discovered the frugality and finances section so hopefully this will be the blessing I need to get on track.

[Bokonon]

Could DH get a different job? Even making minimum wage, he'd probably be bringing home more than $900/month. Especially since he seems to think money grows on trees!

[zebra15]

Yes your DH needs a job that is paid hourly not commission. It does not sound like he is making his commission numbers with his current paychecks.


You also need to get employed. Childcare is do-able. You just need to interview centers and people. You will find someone to provide care for you. You need to increase you household income.

Both of you may want to continue your education in the future as well but right now you both need to focus on employment. yes that means daycare or serious juggling of schedules.

[TwinMomPlus]

I agree your DH needs a new job!

He is spending more than he is making with his "keeping up with the Joneses."

He could bring lunch and say that he just loves your cooking!

No offense, but he needs to grow up. Yes 20 is very young but if you have kids, it is time to grow up. He is acting like a child who has no responsibilities.

Maybe you and his mom can sit down with him?

He should definitely not have access to a credit/debit card either.

[yeahwhat]

Can you get WIC or food stamps? No one should have to choose between good food for their kids and paying bills.

I agree that your dh also needs a relality check. With your income and expenses, even a new dvd is too much, let alone a new computer and stereo equipment.

Is doing childcare for one or two children possible for you to bring a bit of extra cash into the house.

[mtm]

Can you write out a new budget for your dh that shows how much you make and how much you spend in a month so that he can see that there really is no money for lunches out or new computers? His spending is going to get you in real trouble soon. With your baby so small I'd hate to see you need to get a job but if he doesn't get a better paying job and quit spending, it will be tough. Will he listen to Dave Ramsey (radio or hulu) or one of the other financial guys like Clark Howard? It might be a kick in right direction.

[shayinme]

I see you are in Chicago (my hometown) and I am trying to figure out what kind of job does your dh have that he is only bringing home $900 a month working 6 days a week. Since there are no jobs working 6 days a week ft that I can think of that only pay $900 a month. Honestly he needs a better job and like others have stated you may want to consider working. Do a google search but there is an agency in Chicago (name escapes me) that you can get listings for licensed childcare providers from and also look into getting a childcare subsidy. Or if you are interested in becoming a licensed childcare provider they can tell you how to make that happen.

[jeminijad]

$900 a month is not enough. He does need a better job.

But...

With his spending like it is, if the take home pay was $2000, he would probably spend that, too...

Sounds like he needs a reality check, and I am sorry to say I don't have better advice. I would certainly do WHATEVER I had to do to get on WIC. With that little income, even if your bills/living situation are wonky, you will not have a problem.

[WindyCityMom]

Originally Posted by TwinMomPlus

No offense, but he needs to grow up. Yes 20 is very young but if you have kids, it is time to grow up. He is acting like a child who has no responsibilities.

None taken. It's ridiculous.

I'm hoping to get on WIC. I cannot get on food stamps (or become a childcare provider) because we live in an illegal apartment. We told HFS that we were in a shared apartment with MIL to get the medical cards for our children... the caseworker told us that if we wanted food stamps then MIL would have to apply. She would qualify with her unemployment but her husband works a side construction job that isn't exactly legit.. so she won't attempt to go and get the food stamps because they look at bank statements.

shayinme- he works at an Automotive center and he's a sales associate. His income always drops in the spring, peak months are the fall and winter months.

He told me that he's been slacking at work- we're going to give it one mroe pay period and if there's no improvement, he's going to get a second job for the time period after he gets off of work. If that fails, then I need to get a job.

Anyone know what I can get as far as groceries go w/ $50/wk?

[p1gg1e]

Lentils and rice are cheap and basic. Id say after that a little neat ( if you eat it) and some veggies. You can do it . It just wont be the most yummy stuff unless you get creative and dress it up. Have you looked at local church pantries? They often don't look as close as WIC or food stamps at where you live etc. they may help you patch that hole as far as extra food.

And yes your DH needs focus on his family and see that there isnt any money for eating out.

[TwinMomPlus]

Look into Angel Food Ministries.

You can buy food really cheap and there are no income requirements.

[shayinme]

Originally Posted by WindyCityMom

None taken. It's ridiculous.

I'm hoping to get on WIC. I cannot get on food stamps (or become a childcare provider) because we live in an illegal apartment. We told HFS that we were in a shared apartment with MIL to get the medical cards for our children... the caseworker told us that if we wanted food stamps then MIL would have to apply. She would qualify with her unemployment but her husband works a side construction job that isn't exactly legit.. so she won't attempt to go and get the food stamps because they look at bank statements.

shayinme- he works at an Automotive center and he's a sales associate. His income always drops in the spring, peak months are the fall and winter months.

He told me that he's been slacking at work- we're going to give it one mroe pay period and if there's no improvement, he's going to get a second job for the time period after he gets off of work. If that fails, then I need to get a job.

Anyone know what I can get as far as groceries go w/ $50/wk?

I don't know where you live in Chicago but if you are in the city proper in any area with access to more ethnic markets you should be able to shop for $50 or so a week. There is Aldi's where you can get basic staples like flour, etc..then go to the produce markets. I used to live on the northside and I know in areas like Rogers Park there are plenty of produce markets that are cheap.

About the food stamps, can you try to reapply? When you say illegal apt what does that mean? From an income standpoint you definitely should qualify for WIC and once you have an appointment be able to receive it fairly quickly.

[GuildJenn]

Check out food banks too. When you guys are more stable (and you will be) you can give back to the community. Meanwhile don't be shy in looking for help.

I would approach the partner issues by asking him to leave his credit cards at home and really lay it out for him about the lunch. Tell him to say he's on the MDC diet and he can't eat out because of the potassium-sodium balance or something like that. He'll get cool points for knowing what the in diet is. I think it might be important to acknowledge his feelings about all this - of course he wants to do what his coworkers do. And he is working hard. But the reality is it is not working. It is not forever- but it is your right now.

I'm also wondering what you have lying around that you could sell. And yes, I'm looking at your husband's things. It would really help you to knock down your debt, and if you could toss some craigslist or eBay money at it that would go a long way.

[laohaire]

He works 2 hours a day just to pay for his LUNCH. Maybe putting it in those terms would open his eyes.

[doubledutch]

it's simple. he needs to earn more money and stop shopping. however, you can't control what he does, so you need to decide what you're going to do about it.

since financial security is important to you (and rightly so), this would be a good time to enroll in school (college or a trade). you'll qualify for financial aid, your kids would spend a lot less time in daycare compared to if you were working full time, or you could do online school without putting the kids in dc if you think you can swing it. maybe mil would help entertain the little ones so you could study. by the time you finish, your older child will be in school, so chlid care costs would only be for the younger one.

depending on where you go to school, there may be married student housing for as cheap or cheaper than your current rent, and then you'd qualify for all that other assistance. plus just being enrolled in school can improve your financial picture (if you can keep dh's hands off your financial aid). i know when i was a young married student, financial aid covered more than just tuition. i got a check at the beginning of each semester to cover books and other materials and to go toward living expenses. some grants, some loans - but you know what, paying back my student loans isn't really a big deal. it's a lot better than having no student loans and less earning potential.

"begin with the end in mind." where do you want to end up? what changes can you make now to get there?

[doubledutch]

oh, one other long-term, big-picture thing to think about . . . don't let dh rack up debt in your name. if those cards are in your name and he's an authorized user, remove him. if they are his cards and your name is on them too, get your name off those cards if at all possible. you don't want to end up a single mama of two, paying for his immature shopping sprees.

[happysmileylady]

So you guys are 19? Yeah, he sounds like a typical 19 year old guy. The problem is, he can't be that guy any more. He has a family that he is responsible for. And buying a $900 computer and a $600 car sound system is NOT being responsible for his family when your household income is less than $1k a month.

Regardless of his spending, $900 a month is simply not enough. As Dave Ramsey would say, you have an income crisis. You need more money coming into your family. Whether he gets a better paying job, a second job, you get a job outside the home, you start doing some work from home, whatever. Your family has to have more money coming in. A family of four cannot survive long term on that income.

I think what you need to do is sit down and have a serious "come to Jesus" talk about your financial situation. At the moment, the two of you are not on the same page, and you need to get there.

[WindyCityMom]

Thank you all so much. Cooking is tough because I have no stove in my apartment, but I'm working with MIL to see if I can cook in her house. She has offered to let us eat with her, but my daughter cannot eat what she makes (it is all very, very spicy and even I have to choke it down). Maybe DH and I could eat MILs food and I could make something for my DD.

With $50/wk... that's about $7/day for three meals for the three of us. I am giving up most of my meat and replacing it with beans- I love em but I don't exactly know how to cook them.

About the illegal apartment.. we have on exit and are required by law to have two exits. The caseworker said that we would need a notarized letter stating that we have two exits in our apartment, signed by MIL and us.

[Alyantavid]

I think he needs to look for a better job and you need to see if you can find one as well. Yes, it's hard to leave your children in daycare and work while bfing, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

Get whatever assistance you can, shop around, check out the nutrition forum for ideas on cheap meals.

[Denvergirlie]

Originally Posted by WindyCityMom

Cooking is tough because I have no stove in my apartment,

Toaster oven, crockpot, hot plate, microwave and then who really needs an oven/ stove.

You should be able to fdind most of these appliances at a thrift store for $5 or so. Might have to buy the hot plate at Wal-mart for $20 or so worse case.

best of luck