In shock at my Preschool's behavior today...overeacting? - Page 2

[GearGirl]

Nope, not OK even if there was a kick. You are so NOT over reacting!

[Llyra]

Originally Posted by oceanbaby

I don't think you are overreacting at all. I would be seriously pissed, and would have to think long and hard about sending my kid back there. You know your kid, and your gut is telling you that this story just doesn't add up. Plus, even if she did kick, I don't see how a "kick" results in holding someone's arms down. If a kid was trying to smack me, yes, I might grab their arms. But it would be momentary until I could move away. What does holding her arms have to do with kicking?

If nothing else, if the situation has escalated to the point where she needs to be physically restrained at naptime, then it is not the right place to have her at naptime.

Personally, I think they were trying to hold her down to get her to nap and were busted when you walked in, thus making up the lame "she kicked me" story and quickly getting out of the room.

This is basically what I was going to say.

[JL83]

I wonder if you coming at lunch time for awhile has set up a bad pattern.

And then when you stopped it was really hard on your DD.

I think you need to make some choices about what you want. If you want your DD in full day care, then you need to just do that. Although, I probably wouldn't continue at that school unless they have a very good explanation for what happened and are able to resolve it to your satisfaction.

[sosurreal09]

i would get a new preschool

[myorianna]

Update

Thanks for everyone's feedback on the situation. I wanted to post an update.
I spoke with the director and she spoke with everyone involved and I have since spoken to her again. The preschool does not have a policy of restraint and she was surprised at what I told her, though she kept suggesting that maybe I didn't actually see what I "saw" and that it was a misunderstanding. I stood my ground to what I saw- that and my DD's reaction- I still have flash backs to that moment as I was in shock and actually stood there for a good half minute before reacting...

Some reasoning from her- the assistant had her lunch break at that time which is why she left quickly, and that they couldn't remove her from the room before 1:30pm as they don't have enough people to watch her until then. So that basically meant that she would have to stay in the room from 12:30pm-1:30pm. She agreed with me that it is not acceptable to use force like that on a child, but I could see that she didn't really believe me... She talked with the assistant who denied everything- she said that she didn't use force and was simply holding my daughter to try and calm her down.

I told the director I was not ok with this assistant being with my daughter. She proposed a new plan to put DD down for nap a little later (1pm) so that she would only have a half hour max before she would be able to leave the room if she didn't nap. Also, I was asked not to come during lunch break- not exactly that, I was welcome to come but just don't let DD see me... We did this yesterday and she did not nap at all, but there was no crying according to the director. And DD actually wanted to go to school this morning. Trying it again today. But I am still very hesitant. I have started searching for another nanny to cover the afternoon hours that I need for those 3 days a week.

Everything else that I have seen at this school as been positive- their approach to discipline, to other difficulties, etc. So I am still surprised that this happened- but all it takes is one person, one time...is this enough to move on? I have to just gauge DD's happiness and see if she is happy going to school everyday again. The head teacher who is there in the morning is fantastic- no complaints there. It seems it is just their afternoon program that has minimal supervision...is that true for most schools?

[Kirsten]

Originally Posted by JL83

I think you need to make some choices about what you want. If you want your DD in full day care, then you need to just do that.

I agree. Coming in the middle of her day then leaving again sounds like it is making things harder for her, though it may be what is better for you (to see her during the day). I think she will adjust quicker if you let her adjust instead of going in mid-day.

And part of having her in a group situation as opposed to home with you or home with a nanny is that it is a group. She can't play outside when it is lunch; there aren't enough staff to take each kid in every different direction. They aren't understaffed; they have the people it takes to do what the group of kids is scheduled to be doing at that point in the day.

If you aren't happy with that child care, find another. But nothing is 100% perfect. The only person who will do EXACTLY what you want, how you want, when you want is YOU. Anyone else and you are working with another person or group of people to try to get as close to what you want as possible. But remember that each child there has parents who may want different things. It isn't possible to make everyone happy all the time.

If you trust them, stop going in mid-day. If you don't trust them, find another situation. Maybe an in-home daycare would work better?