Pacifiers: when and how to wean

[ErynneM]

Important facts: my son is 12.5 months old. He is still breastfeeding (we are doing child-led weaning). I like giving him autonomy and choice. I have Lupus and he weighs nearly 30lb.

My son is 12.5 months old, and still gets pacifiers. His Daddy is worse about it than I am, but he gets it when going down for naps (when nursing won't work) and he gets it when upset in the car or out in public in situations where flipping out a boob wouldn't really be workable (babywearing and nursing is pretty much out of the question, lamentably. Carrying him in-arms and nursing is definitely out of the question. Finding someplace comfortable and workable in a store to nurse is nearly impossible.)

I would like to know at what age is it a good idea to wean off the pacifier? I've seen by six months - well, obviously that's well past us.

What is a gentle way to do it? I have zero desire to just take his paci away one day and leave him nothing. He will give himself a pacifier in the car if he needs it, and I like him having the freedom of choice (i.e. if HE feels he wants it, i like him having the option).

So, what is a good time to wean off the pacifier? And what is a gentle way to do it?

- E

[verde]

There are a zillion threads on this exact topic. You will find that the answers fall into two general categories: 1) people who are obsessed with getting rid of the pacifiers and will suggest the binky fairy and cutting off the tip and other tricks or 2) people who say what's the big deal, kids need to suck so why rock the boat and why not just follow the lead of the child.

I fall firmly into category #2. My DD used a binky until she was almost 4 y/o. She weaned herself off bit by bit. She started off 24/7 and slowly moved to naps/bedtime and the car, then just naps/ bedtime, then just bedtime and then she stopped. While she used it she slept beautifully. If you check out the sleep forum you will find people who would LOVE for their child to use a binky if it helped their child sleep.

Your DS is only a year old. Let him have his binky and don't fret. He won't start kindergarten with it.

[ErynneM]

Originally Posted by verde

I fall firmly into category #2. My DD used a binky until she was almost 4 y/o. She weaned herself off bit by bit. She started off 24/7 and slowly moved to naps/bedtime and the car, then just naps/ bedtime, then just bedtime and then she stopped. While she used it she slept beautifully. If you check out the sleep forum you will find people who would LOVE for their child to use a binky if it helped their child sleep.

Your DS is only a year old. Let him have his binky and don't fret. He won't start kindergarten with it.

Thank you for your reply. This is just what I needed to hear. I've been feeling a bit... worried about the pacifier ever since a receptionist at the baby's 12th month WBC said, "You're gonna have to give that thing up soon!" when Jacob was sucking a paci after getting his 2nd Polio shot. SIGH. One stupid comment has bothered me for almost 3 weeks. I just need other mommas to tell me to stop fretting and let my son enjoy himself; at least he's not gorging on chocolate chip cookies to feel better, the way I do. :P

- E

[kcstar]

What I've read about dental problems say it's mostly if he continues until 4 or 5 or later. DS is almost 32 months and still uses his binky. We try to restrict it to naptime and bedtime, but occasionally he needs it to calm down. We just try to monitor, take it if he lets us, and keep it out of sight when he's not upset or tired.

[betsyj]

Eh what does a receptionist know about your baby and his binky. One of the best things i have learned to do is ignore unsolicited advice-especially advice that seems ungentle and contrary to what I feel in my heart.

My son is 23 mos and still uses a paci and still nurses (imagine what the receptionist would say about that!!). I am not even worried about it. Once he is a little older we may gently start to encourage him to use it only for naps and car rides.

Like verde I fall firmly into the second camp. He needs it, and it bothers everyone else way more than it bothers me and dh.