How to celebrate the big brother/sister

[jennmiller]

I would like to have some sort of recognition for my DD on the new baby's birthday for her new role as big sister. Later, we may have a party for her with a few of her friends, but I'd like to do something special for her on the day of the birth. Any ideas?

[porcelina]

I think it is a great idea to celebrate your DD! However, I have heard that there can be very ambivalent feelings about the new role of big sibling. Maybe you should just frame it as celebrating how special she is and how much you love her, which is never going to change. Many people have talked about gifts for the older child (either "from the baby" or from the parent), which seems like it could be a good idea.

[MaerynPearl]

With DS when DD was born... and with both this time... rather than single them out and celebrate them we involve them with everything to do with baby, from the baby shower (DS did not get gifts at the shower, but he did get to be mommy's special helper and that was better than a gift to him) to the ultrasound, to helping mommy prepare for birth (DD and I are going out garage saling this weekend to find a bunch of receiving blankets and neutral onesies. Ive also promised to let her pick out one boy outfit and one girl outfit for the baby.) to the birth itself (they will both be present within an hour of the birth if they are not present at the actual birth... depending on how comfortable they are with it)

So rather than basically saying... don't worry we wont forget you exist... then subsequently possibly putting TOO much attention on the older child and make them expect the increased attention (depending on age of course, but this happened with my older brother when I was born and caused trouble)... they are integrated very smoothly into the role of sibling and shown that their part in the family is still very important.

After all, the older siblings still have THEIR birthday to celebrate them and not have the baby overshadow them... why overshadow the babys birthday by celebrating their sibling?

[McMandy]

I think it's a great idea to give the older sibling a little recognition and bit of celebration as she (he?) enters her new role as big sibling. Afterall, this is a big deal, big occasion....

Of course, like others have mentioned, you don't want to go overboard.

I think a t-shirt announcing the sibling as the big sister or big brother is a great way to start it out... even better if the two of you can make it together before the birth (we used felt letters to make my daughter's).

Celebrate your child's role as SIBLING, not just your child herself, so that she will see she is an important figure in this baby's life and that she is wanted and needed in the process.

Discussing what will happen, even if they seem to young to understand, helps. Maybe get him or her a special bag to carry a few diapers and wipes.

While having a few gifts centered on her (a coloring book, a doll, whatever) is great, having gifts that center on her role as sibling are even better.

-A special little diaper bag (which could be a canvas bag with his or her name on it).
-A special blanket to wrap the baby in.
-A book about being a sibling or about babies.


Get your child as involved as possible in the whole process. Let him or her help decorate the room. The more involved she is, the more she'll anticipate baby's arrival.. which will make the adjustment easier.

Purchasing a "life size" baby would be a great way to show her how to hold and cuddle the baby properly as well.

[fyrwmn]

we involved dd in everything with ds's pregnancy. she came to all the appointments, was there at the ultrasound where we found out gender, etc. we let her be the one to call the grandparents to tell them the gender. she wasn't there for the birth because it was in the hospital, but she was the first to be allowed to come visit a few hours after he was born. ds brougth her a present, and dh and i gave her her very own "newborn" doll with an outfit and blanket and such so she could take care of her baby while i took care of ds. while we were at the hospital, we ordered a cake to pick up on the way home that said 'congratulations big sister' on it.

this time around, we'll involve both kids with the appointments, although ds is still way too little to care. they will also be allowed to be present at the birth if they choose (homebirth). dd has already said that she'd like to catch the next baby, lol as well as cut the cord (she knows dh got to catch ds). the cord cutting will absolutely be her honor if she still chooses, but i think we'll leave the catching up to dh and the midwife . the baby will probably bring something special for dd and ds as well. rigth now, i can't wait to tell dd about the pg because she has decided that she's getting a new baby on her bday...this lo's edd is 2 days after her bday, so it's a distinct possibility

[neonalee]

I'm having a little trouble with this as well. Especially since the older sibling is my 11 yr old step daughter. We only have her weekends and she lives an hour away, so I can't even be sure when she will meet her sibling. So far we have racked our brains coming up with ways to involve her now. She picked out the bedding. It's lavender with butterflies and flowers, even though we don't know if it will be a boy or girl I told her it doesn't matter, just pick what she likes. She's going to also add some hats and outfits to the registry. We're considering a gift of some type, but haven't decided the when or what yet.

[HaikuMommy]

neonalee, that is one of the sweetest things I've ever heard! Letting the 11yo pick whatever bedding, regardless of gender, or your personal tastes. Especially since its so easy for preteens to feel a little disconnected in stepfamilies. The baby won't care what the bedding is like. You honoring your stepdaughter like that warms my heart.

[rootzdawta]

Moved from I'm Pregnant to The Childhood Years.

[peaceful_mama]

My dd (3) wants to make a birthday cake for her "baby sister." (*I* didn't start the "baby sister' thing, they did. I guess they have decided through child-logic that another baby would be a girl, because we have 2 boys and one girl now ) I think that would be a fun way to celebrate and give the big kids something to do.

[attached2ethan]

I have been wondering the same thing, as our baby is due in just a few weeks and has two very excited big brothers awaiting her arrival.

I think what I've decided is to have an ice cream sundae party for them to celebrate their upcoming status as "the big brothers". They are thrilled about it and I like the idea of NOT getting a bunch of gifts for them, because it seems like every occasion comes with a gift, and I liked the idea of celebrating without.

Also, having it just before she's due will not overshadow the day of HER birth either- they'll have their day and she'll get hers. And the gift is the addition of a sibling into our house for all of us to love and care for. And that's my goal, we'll see how it pans out!!

I do think that "Big Brother" shirts would be cool for the day of her birth, but I was thinking of having the boys make them in advance and save them to wear for that day.

[pianojazzgirl]

When my ds was born friends who came over to visit "the new baby" were thoughtful enough to bring a little gift for (then 3 yr old) dd if they were also bringing a baby gift. I make a point of doing that too when one of my friends has a new baby. I also try (as excited as I am to meet the baby) to first engage with the older sibling - way hi, have a little chat. Perhaps making that suggestion to any friends and family who are planning on visiting would help ease your dd's transition. (I didn't mean to tell them to bring her a gift though - that would be rude!)

Oh yeah, I just remembered... my best friend just had her 2nd dc a couple of months ago, and before she was born we had a baby shower - but it was more a celebrate the family shower. We had fun games to play that included her ds (7 yrs old). We made mom, dad and ds all wear a funny crown. There were some gifts for the ds as well. Etc. So not exactly a "big sibling" party, but a party that really obviously was for the ds as well to celebrate the fact that the family was gaining a new member.

[limabean]

This wasn't on the day of the birth, but a week or so prior I took DS to a paint-your-own-pottery studio and we painted bowls together (they're our ice cream bowls now), and he also painted a picture frame that he keeps a photo of himself and DD in.

I also packed a stuffed animal in my hospital suitcase and gave it to DS as his gift from his new baby sister when he came to visit us.

[darah7]

We kind of struggled with this too. We involved our DD who is 3 in pretty much everything that we knew she'd be comfortable with - prenatal stuff, etc. A month or so before my EDD I decided to make her a big sister quilt so we went to the fabric store and she picked out all the flannel for it and sat on my lap while we sewed it. (it was a very simple quilt!) I finished it one night after she went to bed and put it away until the night before the baby came. She loves it and it was something special her and mom could do together. A few days after her brother was born we put him down on the quilt with her so she could tell him all about it.

Being an only child myself I think becoming a sibling is a pretty special event that should be commemorated in a meaningful way.

And I'm happy to say that 2 months into being a big sis she's doing great with the transition.