Confession time:
I was NOT very happy to find out I was pregnant this time. There.... I said it.... I feel so guilty admitting it. This is our first unplanned pregnancy and well, it has came at a really bad time. I am very good at putting on the face so I was trying to convince myself that everything would get better. I knew I had a serious problem on my hands when I went to have a clinical pregnancy test, just to be sure, and found myself hoping that it would be negative and that I had been missing my periods because I had formed cancer or something. The second I had that thought was a major WOW moment in my mind. I immediately started telling my dh what I was going through and my 2 closest friends irl. One friend suggested that I tell my midwife everything at my next appointment and to be put on medication the second my baby is born. I was at a loss. I have never been through anything like this.
So today dh and I had a long talk and we are setting up a consultation visit with a local urologist for him to get a vasectomy. It is like someone has breathed new life into me! I have sat around this afternoon finding myself daydreaming about my new baby for the first time since I found out I was pregnant. I am genuinely excited!
The only thing I can figure is that deep down I was terrified that if we had one oopsie that we would just keep on having oopsies and I saw my life just flashing by with no end in site. Now that I know this will be my last baby I think I have become more attached to this child than I ever imagined possible.
So should I still be on alert? Should I still bring it up to my midwife? My next appointment is tomorrow. Am I at higher risk now once our baby is born?
Thank you to anyone that can help me with this. It was harder to confess this than you can imagine.
I was NOT very happy to find out I was pregnant this time. There.... I said it.... I feel so guilty admitting it. This is our first unplanned pregnancy and well, it has came at a really bad time. I am very good at putting on the face so I was trying to convince myself that everything would get better. I knew I had a serious problem on my hands when I went to have a clinical pregnancy test, just to be sure, and found myself hoping that it would be negative and that I had been missing my periods because I had formed cancer or something. The second I had that thought was a major WOW moment in my mind. I immediately started telling my dh what I was going through and my 2 closest friends irl. One friend suggested that I tell my midwife everything at my next appointment and to be put on medication the second my baby is born. I was at a loss. I have never been through anything like this.
So today dh and I had a long talk and we are setting up a consultation visit with a local urologist for him to get a vasectomy. It is like someone has breathed new life into me! I have sat around this afternoon finding myself daydreaming about my new baby for the first time since I found out I was pregnant. I am genuinely excited!
The only thing I can figure is that deep down I was terrified that if we had one oopsie that we would just keep on having oopsies and I saw my life just flashing by with no end in site. Now that I know this will be my last baby I think I have become more attached to this child than I ever imagined possible.
So should I still be on alert? Should I still bring it up to my midwife? My next appointment is tomorrow. Am I at higher risk now once our baby is born?
Thank you to anyone that can help me with this. It was harder to confess this than you can imagine.
