Spending enough time with your dc

[samy23]

With school and extra curricular activities, plus if you work, do you feel you get enough time to spend with your dc?

My dd is 7 and has school, plus 1 extra curricular activity currently, Im thinking about getting her involved in some other activities, but am worried if I do that, then during the weekdays we won't have much time together at all.

Anyone else found this or worry about this? Im not sure what to do regarding signing her up for a few more extra activities such as after school sports clubs etc, which I feel she would benefit from, but then our relationship might suffer as we might not have enough time to spend together....?

[AllisonR]

Same boat. Mine are younger, so I can avoid the extra-curricular stuff at the moment. But I am with you. I think, like everything else, you have to weigh in the pros and cons, and make a case by case decision. Is your DC in love with gymnstics, her best friend is doing it, you'd love her to have the extra exercise... then maybe it's worth more than the family time. If it's just an extra thing, then maybe family time should over rule it. KWIM?

[Owen'nZoe]

This is definitely something we struggle with, too. My son is a year younger than yours, but so far we've allowed 1 after-school activity at a time. We've been tempted to break this rule a few times, but in the end I've decided that learning to make choices between several things you'd really like to do and learning to find balance in one's life is just as beneficial as the extra-currics.

If you really want your child in more than one activity, maybe you could find activities that don't cut into family time? For example, if your child goes to a before- or after-school program while you're at work, maybe they have (or could add) some extra programming. I know our after-school care center just added a once-a-week Spanish class that interested kids could sign up for.

[cjam]

I let my kids do more than one active activity in the winter. It's hard enough to get physical activity around here in the winter time, so they do a few different activities to help keep them fit and healthy. In the summer, we do only soccer. We do a family movie night each weekend and a family weekend outing each weekend. It seems to be working for us.

[annethcz]

I go for quality more than quantity, at least during the school year. I have four kids who all go to school and are all involved in at least one extra-curricular activity. I don't get to spend as much one-on-one time as I'd like sometimes, but we've tweaked our schedule so that we can spend quality time together often. We eat dinner together every night. We still read books together as a family before the kids go to bed. I've noticed that we're all happier when I plan family activities on the weekend, so I try to do that on a regular basis.

[meemee]

i have my dd on m, w, f and weekends. on m and w i have class so dd spends time with my friends till i get out of class at 6. so we get friday and one weekend day together.

that is enough for my 7 1/2 year old. like pp said its quality not quantity that matters. once we get home on m and w we do everything we need to together. we cuddle at night and cosleep too.

however at this age i think there is something called 'too much time' with parents. and dd definitely shows that. at least 2 or 3 fridays a month she has playdates with friends and she DOES NOT want me there. even then the time we get - about 2 hours before bedtime we spend together truly connecting.

[nina_yyc]

Totally not in this boat since I'm currently SAHM to much younger kids, but wanted to share that in my family we have a weekly meeting and plan an activity together at the meeting. Seems like even though I have nothing but time on my hands, but all it takes is an activity, a playdate, and each parent wanting a couple hours "off" and the weekend can go by without all of us really connecting together. Since we've been doing the meetings/activities it hasn't been a problem. We are also very careful about having family meals when possible and rituals like books at bedtime. Just some thoughts...interested to hear what everyone has to say since I'll probably be there in a couple years.

[LynnS6]

Be careful. We were fine until ds wanted to do baseball this year. Since it's the first team sport he's EVER expressed interest in, dh and I were all for it. But then, his sister wanted to join t-ball, and why not? It's just one sport, right?

Apparently it's more than that - it's a lifestyle. This week we've had:
Monday - baseball game for ds
Tuesday - practice scheduled for dd, but canceled (Hallelujah!)
Wednesday - game for ds
Thursday - game for dd, practice for ds (we skipped this as I couldn't be in 2 places at one time)
Friday - practice schedule for ds
Saturday - game at 10:30 am for dd, 12 noon for ds (at two different fields about 5 miles apart and dh's out of town -- this should be interesting)

We've barely had dinner together since baseball season started, we haven't been able to fit in chores at all, and we're all getting to bed far too late. Do these people not have families? school? I'm seriously thinking of keeping ds home from practice tomorrow if he doesn't feel like going. And I'm DEFINITELY praying for rain. If it does, I'll need to put a happy face on this icon:

My point (aside from my vent) is that this one thing has tipped me over the edge. It's too much stuff. Being gone more than 2x a week is too much for us.

Update:
Practice tomorrow for ds has been canceled. We'll have an evening at home!!!!

[samy23]

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