Toddler twins - seriously, will I survive this?

[4Marmalade]

Is anyone else totally overwhelmed with their toddlesr? I know there are a couple of others here with twins the same age as mine. They will be 2 in June. I keep going back to all those people telling me the first year is the worst. Really?!?! Really?!?!

From the biting, hair pulling, food throwing, cabinet emptying to the temper tantrums.

Getting out with two (and usually more if I include the older ones) seems impossible some days. I feel like I am constantly bribing to get them in the carseat, stroller, hold hands, come in the house, etc... Even the offer of mama milk doesn't work anymore.

There is no point to this post. Just tired of being in survival mode .

[childsplay]

Oh no doubt you'll survive! Mine are turning 6 next month and things have drastically improved. (meaning I know longer want to run into the woods and hide, survivorman-style for about two years) Seriosly, by the time they were three, things were running pretty smooth. So that's something to look forward to?

When mine were in their twos I had, in one weekend, permanent red ink marker scribbled all over my 2 week old hardwood floor, three pairs of poopy undies (left soaking in the toilet until I had time to deal with them) from toilet training kids that weren't quite as trained as I thought, flushed down the toilet blocking the pipe which just so happened to be located UNDER our freshly paved driveway. (enter the Excavator, the pipe cutter, the repaving and about $2000) The passenger side door of my truck covered with 'lovely' swirly scribbly 'pictures' . Not in marker though. But gravel. Etched with gravel. And that's not even touching on the biting, pushing, screaming, shrieking, hair pulling and bolting that just went on ALL. THE. TIME. The only saving grace was that they all slept well and went to bed early, plus we had a liquor store nearby. No kidding, I remember DH and I sitting outside with a case of beer, on the lawn, getting absolutely devoured by mosquitos. But it was quiet, and peaceful, and not a child to be seen or heard for 50 feet. Sigh, I guess that sounds pretty awful.

I feel I came out unscathed but perhaps not as now I run a home daycare with 3 two year olds and 2 19 month olds.

Do you have anyone to help you out? Summer's coming, are there any teenagers in your area that might work out as a Mom's Helper? Just to give you some time to yourself?

Good luck to you : )

[hergrace]

You will survive.

My triplets will be three next week and it has been a long time since we had the full on biting, hair-pulling, food throwing. We still have some of the outrageous behaviour, but we also have long periods where everybody plays well together and reasonably safely. It is particularly nice that they are starting to engage in pretend play with their older brother.

I spent from 18 months until just recently doing a lot more bribing than I ever did with my eldest. I have even been known to describe my techniques for getting out of the house in the past year as "parenting by lollipop." I have hated it. But, they are much better now.

For example, last fall, I needed to strap them into the wagon and feed them snacks when we went to meet DS1 at the bus stop after school. I spent the winter driving to the bus stop because I couldn't deal with waiting in the cold with toddlers. Now, we walk together without the wagon. I have DS1's scooter and we play games when we are waiting on the street corner. It is a whole new world and I hardly believed we would make it.

[mamaof5boys]

Originally Posted by childsplay

Oh no doubt you'll survive! Mine are turning 6 next month and things have drastically improved. (meaning I know longer want to run into the woods and hide, survivorman-style for about two years) Seriosly, by the time they were three, things were running pretty smooth. So that's something to look forward to?

When mine were in their twos I had, in one weekend, permanent red ink marker scribbled all over my 2 week old hardwood floor, three pairs of poopy undies (left soaking in the toilet until I had time to deal with them) from toilet training kids that weren't quite as trained as I thought, flushed down the toilet blocking the pipe which just so happened to be located UNDER our freshly paved driveway. (enter the Excavator, the pipe cutter, the repaving and about $2000) The passenger side door of my truck covered with 'lovely' swirly scribbly 'pictures' . Not in marker though. But gravel. Etched with gravel. And that's not even touching on the biting, pushing, screaming, shrieking, hair pulling and bolting that just went on ALL. THE. TIME. The only saving grace was that they all slept well and went to bed early, plus we had a liquor store nearby. No kidding, I remember DH and I sitting outside with a case of beer, on the lawn, getting absolutely devoured by mosquitos. But it was quiet, and peaceful, and not a child to be seen or heard for 50 feet. Sigh, I guess that sounds pretty awful.

I feel I came out unscathed but perhaps not as now I run a home daycare with 3 two year olds and 2 19 month olds.

Do you have anyone to help you out? Summer's coming, are there any teenagers in your area that might work out as a Mom's Helper? Just to give you some time to yourself?

Good luck to you : )

Oh, thank you for the laugh!!!! It always makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one!!

Mine just turned three and some days seem slightly easier, although they still have sleep issues. Last night I had to go in and lay with them 4 times. My husband passed away last summer so I am doing this on my own. Some days I think a trip far, far, away would be Heaven. Luckily I have lots of friends to help, but it's just not the same when you are the sole parent of five kids.

Just wanted to say it will get easier- and then they'll be teenagers!!!

[f&p'smama]

I thought toddlers were so much harder than babies. Not that twin babies are easy, but my twin babies didn't run from me, refuse to keep clothes on, have ridiculous tantrums or bite each other. I got pregnant when my twins were 2 and there were lots of times that I just cried and wondered how on Earth I would do it. My singleton is 2 and there are times I find him so frustrating that I truly cannot believe I managed two monkeys.

My experience was similar to hergrace's -- the closer they got to 3 the easier they got. They started engaging in pretend play with each other, and that made a huge difference. Everyone said age 3 was harder than age 2, but that really wasn't the case for us. It's all been downhill since 2-1/2.

You'll survive. I took advantage of having DH around on the weekend and would sneak out for a movie or shopping or something I wanted to do while he took the girls to a park. Taking time for yourself really helps.

[f&p'smama]

Originally Posted by mamaof5boys

Oh, thank you for the laugh!!!! It always makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one!!

Mine just turned three and some days seem slightly easier, although they still have sleep issues. Last night I had to go in and lay with them 4 times. My husband passed away last summer so I am doing this on my own. Some days I think a trip far, far, away would be Heaven. Luckily I have lots of friends to help, but it's just not the same when you are the sole parent of five kids.

Just wanted to say it will get easier- and then they'll be teenagers!!!

Oh mama! I am so sorry for the loss of your DH.

[Intertwined]

Originally Posted by f&p'smama

Oh mama! I am so sorry for the loss of your DH.

Me, too. So, so sorry.

My twins will be two in May and I am RIGHT there with you. They've learned how to break out of the playroom AGAIN. Ben bolts every chance he gets while Claire lolligags behind. Add in a very sneaky, very SMART big sister who's three and I'm about ready to pull my hair out most days. They beat each other, bite each other, pull hair, scream....

but thank GOD at least they sleep.

[mamaof5boys]

Thank you for your kind words! I haven't been posting on MDC- life is just too busy right now, but I sure miss talking to you gals!! The past 10 months have helped put things into perspective- makes the little things seem so trivial! I don't mean to make light of all of the stresses with LOs! I certainly know how difficult and exhausting it can be, but it makes me stop and reframe all the challenges.

[mama_tigress]

I haven't posted on MDC in *ages*, but I came to this forum looking for some advice/info/support about this very thing. My twins just turned two on Monday, and my older boy is 3.5 (hmm, 3.75? lol), and between the 3 of them there is just so much fighting. One of my twins is a huge biter, and they both pull hair. Their older brother grabs everything out of their hands and terrorizes them. It's really constant chaos whenever we are home. This morning I asked the grandmother of some twins in my older son's preschool class whether they fight all the time, and she said, "oh no, they get almost always get along," as if it was an unusual question!

Sometimes (a lot of the time) I feel like I'm just going crazy trying to handle the chaos and strife. Siblings Without Rivalry is practically my bible, but when things get totally out of hand I usually resort to pure bribery (or even, when it's really bad, threats like "if you don't x, I will x"), which I just hate to do.

I'm also doing this all on my own. I hate to complain because I know there are women out there with triplets, quads, etc., but my daily reality is just so draining.

[voicegrrl]

Hang in there, it gets different! At least you forget the craziness. My twins are 6 and its a whole new set of crazy these days. I had truly forgotten how hard the 2's were with them (probably because I was in the middle of a divorce) and now that my youngest singleton is turning 2 I'm all caught up in her craziness and feel like she's the only one out of the 4 of them that's behaved this way but I know that's totally false. I just can't remember! I do think everyone is right in saying that by 3 it gets a lot more manageable.


Mamatigress, mine still fight daily. My oldest is almost 3 years older than the twins and between the three of them there's more competition than the olympics. Positive Discipline is pretty helpful, but one of the twins has sensory processing disorder and it affects their dynamic. I've always been so jealous of my friends with twins who don't fight or siblings for that matter.

[4Marmalade]

Awww...I knew you guys would get it. I know I will survive. I guess it's just that sometimes in the moment I think "is this really my life?" or "this is crazy!"

childsplay - Ummmm...that was a bad day . Only laughing because I can see how it is possible.

mamaof5boys - Thanks for helping me reframe my challenges. The sleep issue is something we're working on here too.

f&p'smama - don't even get me started on the clothes issue. They are obsessed with zippers and I spend so much time each day doing up sweaters only so they can unzip them immediately and take them off. Then I listen to them cry until I do it again. Over and over and over again.

Intertwined - I think of you often as I know your username and know your two are around the same age as mine.

mama_tigress - I can only imagine that grandmother is not around during the stressful moments. At least that's what we'll tell ourselves

voicegrrl - I know I went through toddlerhood with my older dc's and I remember it as being not great. I think maybe it's just not my favorite age. I love the newborn age. It's just crazy when you think of all the normal toddler issues and it's x2 (or 3 or 4). My two copy each other all the time right down to playtime in the toilet


I went for a long walk after dinner tonight (alone!) while dh took the 4 kids for a walk. I was listening to some music and a They Might Be Giants song was on and a verse of one song struck home. It went something like this "let it go, let it go, this is smaller than you know. It's no bigger than a pebble lying on a gravel road". I know it's not much but it reminded me to work on letting that small stuff go.

[~bookcase~]

it's nice to see familiar faces

i'm so sorry your husband passed away mamaof5boys - it totally reframes things to survive such loss. life is so bitter/sweet.

4Marmalade: toddlers are completely throwing me. it's hard in an on the move constantly, can't catch up kinda way, right

[DiannaK]

Originally Posted by childsplay

The only saving grace was that they all slept well and went to bed early, plus we had a liquor store nearby. No kidding, I remember DH and I sitting outside with a case of beer, on the lawn, getting absolutely devoured by mosquitos. But it was quiet, and peaceful, and not a child to be seen or heard for 50 feet. Sigh, I guess that sounds pretty awful.


Good luck to you : )

Doesn't sound awful ..... Brett and I talk all the time about how much our liquor bill has increased since the boys arrived.

I hear you, sister ..... as I drink a glass of wine.

[DiannaK]

Originally Posted by 4Marmalade

Is anyone else totally overwhelmed with their toddlesr? I know there are a couple of others here with twins the same age as mine. They will be 2 in June. I keep going back to all those people telling me the first year is the worst. Really?!?! Really?!?!

From the biting, hair pulling, food throwing, cabinet emptying to the temper tantrums.

Getting out with two (and usually more if I include the older ones) seems impossible some days. I feel like I am constantly bribing to get them in the carseat, stroller, hold hands, come in the house, etc... Even the offer of mama milk doesn't work anymore.

There is no point to this post. Just tired of being in survival mode .

Our lives are comical, except when you're living it! People laugh at my blog posts and Facebook updates, as well as my husbands, since we are always talking about poop, Sharpie marker on the wall, bite marks on the boys (from each other), and kids climbing on the kitchen counter to eat molasses!! (That was actually worse than the Sharpie!)

I drink about 5 glasses of wine a week, have a housekeeper twice a month, and have lowered my standards to sub-soil levels.

We'll make it --- what other choice do we have?? I tell my children it's a good thing they are so beautiful, since it keeps me from giving them away!

[lilysmama1124]

Couldn't even finish reading your post because I am hanging on by a thread with my 8 month old twins and every one say it gets easier....I am sorry you are struggling but I have no advices. s:

[dknees]

UGH, I am there with you, too. Mine will be 2 in August, and have been hell on wheels for almost the past year. My dd is the worst.

We had a day here a couple of months ago where my ds2 dumped a glass of water on the wii. While I was cleaning it up, I noticed it was way too quiet in our house. Turns out my then 4yo and dd were in the bathroom, loading up the toilet with toilet paper. I told ds1 not to touch anything and to just leave the bathroom. He flushed, of course. While I was laying down towels and shutting off the water, the twins somehow (I still suspect big brother) got ahold of pens and drew a lovely mural on my kitchen wall. This was all in the span of 20 minutes or less. Typical day at our house. On weekends, I clean from the time I get up until I go to bed, and the house is still much messier when I go to bed than when I had gotten up. I just stopped caring.

I am sick of the fighting, the jealousy and my dd torturing both of her brothers every chance she gets. I hope that someday I can look back on this and laugh. Right now, I'd really just like to take a nap and wave a wand to magically clean my house!

[4Marmalade]

bookcase - that's it exactly, on the move and can't catch up.

DiannaK - comical, yah...that's it . We just started with the climbing and it's throwing me. Out house is pretty kid-proof so I've always felt comfortable in letting them free range and out of sight a bit but one day last week I found them both standing on the computer table downstairs, then Claire stood on the kitchen counter to get the phone and later I found her in older ds's room on a storage unit about to hang off a shelf. IN ONE DAY! Molasses though, I can only imagine

lilysmama1124 - I know lots of people told me the first year is the hardest and it gets easier so I imagine that's true for some people. I hope it is for you and if not, well, you'll be in good company

dknees - . I'm sure you'll laugh about it one day or at the very least be able to tell some great horror stories . Last week I had to remind myself to take out the camera and take a picture of my two monkeys who, at 6am had grabbed a full box of cereal, dumped the entire thing on the floor, plopped themselves down in the middle of it and started eating.

[Intertwined]

Karen, they were just helping you out by getting their own breakfast!

Did I tell you about the time I found Izzy (3) and the twins sitting in the middle of a brand new chocolate silk pie? I could have KILLED them! I WANTED some of that pie!