Autism, sensory seeking, biter, where to go?

[isign]

I have several questions. First, my little guy, is 2 1/2 and was diagnosed with high functioning Autism. He is extremely sensory seeking, and has a severe language delay. First Steps (early intervention) has not been really helpful, but DS has a special instructor through them. He also does ST 2xs a week (not through EI) and I've been pushing for OT. He's had several evals, 2 through EI (said he's 'fine' and improved) then once through another agency.

The OT did a sensory diet but it doesn't seem to be enough. He does not like the brushing - wants to play with the brush himself, so I am going to order another one - compressions worked for a few days, and now he doesn't want to be messed with. He is biting, doesn't like chewy tubes, and I can't keep up with the paci. He woke up biting this morning, before we even got out of bed. I have a huge bruise on my arm from him going to a party and not napping (he didn't eat, no sugar in his system). He's pushing his sister - 17 months - and is starting to throw things when he gets mad. When I say things, I mean his big tonka trucks (plastic) and DD's toy stroller. I have no idea what else to do, or who else to talk to. We are in the process of changing districts - moving tomorrow - and I'm hoping we can get better help. DH is besides himself, and doesn't understand what's going on, or how to help him. This is really damaging their relationship. Help!

[isign]

Anyone?

[SpottedFoxx]

I can email you my son's sensory diet - from what others have told me, it's much more comprehensive than the average diet. Just PM me your email address and I'll send it to you straight away.

Have you thought about seeking parenting help (please don't take that the wrong way)? Parenting is incredibly hard for anyone - add special needs to it and it's damn near impossible for many people (myself for example). We found a behaviorist who is teaching us effective parenting techniques. He's been a godsend! Do you have a developmental pediatrician or neurologist who diagnosed your son? If so, talk to them. Tell them about the challenges you have been experiencing with your son. Remember, these professionals are not only there to diagnose but to guide you down paths you may not be familiar with.

[isign]

Thanks. The first OT did one, but it was a general, not fit to him. The 2nd sensory diet included brushing, but it's not much better. We do have a behavior ped who dx'ed him, and I will email him today. We do see him in the next few weeks as well. I forget about him, I know this sounds bad, because our regular Ped doesn't offer much time or help on much of anything. I'm open to ANY and EVERYTHING. I do not want this to hurt relationships with DH or DD. He's such a sweet boy and I want him to get through this.

I'm PMing you now. Thanks!!

[SpottedFoxx]

For my family, this has been quite a challenge. My husband is incredibly laid back and wants to be the "friend". I'm more parent oriented and end up handling all the discipline. Our goal is to move DH into more of a parent role so that I am not always the bad guy. Our behaviorist has been able to call us both out on our parenting mistakes. The key is to be open to it. You have to own your stuff - if they point out something - you can't get defensive - you just have to work on it. No one is perfect.

If your regular ped isn't helping you - it's time to find a new one. They are not just there for well visits and shots and colds. They are supposed to be a resource as well.

[NightOwlwithowlet]

Okay, so this might sound really silly, but it saved my sanity when DS was two to three years old. We had (still do) a mini trampoline in the living room. He jumped on it constantly, it seemed to redirect a lot of his energy and gave him place to go when he was mad or frustrated. It satisfied his need to jump, crash into things, and seemed to decrease his need to push people.

[Linda on the move]

[QUOTE=isign;15329812] He is extremely sensory seeking, and has a severe language delay. [/QUOTE}

my help is limited because my DD is sensory avoiding rather than sensory seeking.

The OT did a sensory diet but it doesn't seem to be enough.

I think that a sensory diet is largly a matter of trial and error. I don't believe that someone can tell you what will work, you will do it, and it will continue to work forever. That hasn't been my experience anyway!

Get ideas from every place and every one you can, and keep trying. (sorry for the bad news).

What helps my DD is the most is stuff where she feels her body moving through space like swinging, swimming, biking, tumbling, etc. It may be completely different for your child.

DH is besides himself, and doesn't understand what's going on, or how to help him. This is really damaging their relationship. Help!

While working on the sensory diet is VERY important, agreeing on how to handle his behavoir is super important too. I don't believe this is a *discipline* issue in the classic sense, but you and your DH need a plan that you both agree to on how to deal with your son when his behavoir is hurtful to those around him. He can learn not to hurt others and it, although it is difficult now, it's not going to be easier when he is bigger.

My Dh and I have spent time in marriage counseling working through issues related to raising a sn child. This is difficult stuff.

[SpottedFoxx]

I think that a sensory diet is largly a matter of trial and error. I don't believe that someone can tell you what will work, you will do it, and it will continue to work forever. That hasn't been my experience anyway!

I agree 100% Linda! Also - what works in this situation may not work in every situation. As much as you have to give your child their own "toolbox" of tricks and teach them have to self-regulate. You and your SO should also have your own "toolbox" for when your child is unable to help himself.

While working on the sensory diet is VERY important, agreeing on how to handle his behavoir is super important too. I don't believe this is a *discipline* issue in the classic sense, but you and your DH need a plan that you both agree to on how to deal with your son when his behavoir is hurtful to those around him. He can learn not to hurt others and it, although it is difficult now, it's not going to be easier when he is bigger.

My Dh and I have spent time in marriage counseling working through issues related to raising a sn child. This is difficult stuff.

Again, I can't agree more. Most people parent by the seat of their pants. That's because that's how their parents and their parent's parents did it. it works for about 65% of the children in the world. However, not all kids respond well to it and very rarely does a child respond well to that kind of parenting.

DH and I have been through marriage counseling (didn't help us) and now my husband, son and I see a behavioral specialist who is teaching us effective tools to discipline our son together and also teaching us to set our son up for success.