Anyone else *not* out of diapers early?

[rightkindofme]

We started ECing at 4 months. My daughter is 23 months old. In the past few months she has been ... much less consistent in her pottying. She still has days of dryness but for the past few days she has been hiding to poop. That's brand new. She is completely unwilling to give up diapers. I don't understand how the final 'push' to being diaper free happens. She is truly not interested in going to the potty some days and given that I have never forced her up to now it seems rather counter-intuitive to start forcing her now.

[sapphire_chan]

With diapered babies that's actually a sign of impending potty readiness. Just keep calmly telling her that poop and pee go in her potty and do things like taking her dollies to the potty.

And : that it won't be too long before she just goes on her own!

[sgmom]

*raises hand*

We also started at 4 months. At first we did full time, then switched to part time the more mobile she got. She's now 19 months, and she's definitely not close to being diaper free.

We'll go through periods of days to weeks where she will either signal to us that she's wet or needs to eliminate, and we even went through a 2 week period where if I left her naked from the waist down, she would take herself to the potty.

Prior to that (about 2-3 months ago) she started peeing on cue, which was HUGE considering she's never done that before, so it was easy to keep her dry on most days.

About 1 month ago, I got sick (and lazy) and she had one very messy soft poop miss (on the floor), so her dad put her in a disposable to prevent any more messes (she usually uses gerber training undies or cloth during the day and disposables only at night). That was the end of her communication.

Today I'd be lucky if she signalled to me in ANY way that she was wet, needed to use the potty. We're back to nothing but misses, complaining when I offer the potty, and forget peeing on cue. If I leave her naked or in a gerber undie, she'll refuse the potty and pee on the floor. I do this anyway to keep communication open, but I'm 36 weeks pregnant and recently had an pneumonia and septicemia, so I've gotten REALLY lazy at keeping an eye on her. She's been back in a cloth diaper, or sometimes disposables if I'm feeling exhausted.

We have the occasional catch, but not for lack of consistant offering. I still offer at regular times (immediately after waking, eating, if she's had a lot to drink and is still dry after a certain period of time, etc), and most of the time she shakes her head no and screams to get off. No problem.

Keeping the communication open for us right now is something I don't want to lose, so I just deal with it as best I can. SOMEDAY she'll decide that she doesn't want to be wet anymore. I hope. LOL!

Hang in there!!

[yamilee21]

My son started EC at 6 weeks; was mostly accident-free by 30 months... then baby sister arrived and he began having bowel movements regularly in his pants for the next nine months. So he "graduated" for good at 3 years and 9 months, although almost a year later, he still "dribbles" a bit when he doesn't care to bother with the bathroom.

The aforementioned baby sister began EC at 9 days old. After being a dream EC baby her first year, she decided that being wet and/or dirty no longer bothered her. She simultaneously decided that she no longer wished to initiate potty/toilet use, and also decided to exercise the right of refusal most times when offered the potty/toilet. At 21 months, she apparently intends to remain diapered for some time to come. She also "hides" to poop, as did my son at that age. I have no intention of "pushing" her to become diaper-free; I think I got too caught up with "pushing" my son out of diapers (from reading too many stories and posts about early "graduates"), and the super-late "graduation" was my reward. So I am being extra cautious about not pushing my daughter at all, even though I had expected it turn out differently with her since the first year was so promising.

[lisavark]

We started at 2 weeks, and DD is 26 months now. At 12 months I switched to underwear during the day, and I was able to keep her dry all day if I took initiative. I was planning on really getting nighttime down when she turned two, but instead she decided that she no longer wanted to be reminded to go potty and started peeing on the floor all the time. Now I'm using bribes to try to get her back into it. I'm really not into bribes, but I'm not into diapers either, especially when I know she can stay dry all day with a little help. So...yeah. I'm really glad you started this thread. It's very encouraging. I never expected to be using diapers or trainers after age two. But, you know, we've saved a lot of diapers along the way, and I really think there's a point at which you just have to let them do their thing and have control of their bodies, you know?

[lexmas]

Originally Posted by yamilee21

I think I got too caught up with "pushing" my son out of diapers (from reading too many stories and posts about early "graduates"), and the super-late "graduation" was my reward.

Us too. DS was full time EC-d from birth until 2.5 when I finally laid back and just pottied him when I changed his diaper. I made it his. He finally "graduated" 10 days short of his 3rd birthday. And it had to be all about him...we actually let him wear undies if he wanted, but if he peed in them, he would have to wear a diaper. It wasn't about ability, he had the ability since he was tiny. It was about desire. And he just had to want it badly enough and be in complete control.

I won't make the same mistakes with DD...I potty her when I change her diaper, or if I can tell she has to poop. I'm too type A to resist the "competition" and I had unrealistic expectations. Add that to the fact that everyone else thought EC was crazy and I wanted to prove them wrong, and that I had convinced myself that not keeping DS dry and clean every second of the day (and using diapers as diapers) was cruel, and you ended up with a Mama feeling guilty and ashamed all the time for not wanting to do this anymore, and continuing to do it anyway. Once I gave up on that, let go of all my expectations, and continued as I should have begun (laid-back, part time, and only as long as it made me and DS happy), I was happier, DS was happier, and life was better. It was crazy to make such a little issue so important, but it really seemed just so important. I wanted so badly to be a good mom, and I thought I couldn't be a good mom if I didn't EC full-time. So we both suffered for it. And I regret that.

Sorry to ramble, but I found a lot of support in this forum when DS was little, and every once and awhile I check in and try to share just so people don't feel like they're alone. I felt very alone for realizing it wasn't completely for me, and for not wanting to continue. So, yes, not every kid is done early. I expect DD will be over 3 by the time she's done, maybe older. With expectations like that, I figure I can't fail.

[dogretro]

DD1 (just turned 2) has been poop trained since 4 months old & will still poop in the potty & sometimes tells you she needs to poop, but as for pee, forget it! She never did care about being wet & still doesn't. We have tried a couple of times to make the move to graduation, but it didn't happen. We are pretty much down to offering the potty every 2 hours or so; basically when we would change her diaper anyway. She actually now wears a Snappi'd flat diaper under a cover. A Snappi ~ I know! Basically the most non-EC friendly tool you'll ever meet! But, whatever, we are just starting the EC journey w/ dd2, so dd1 can graduate when she is ready as long as she keeps pooping in the toilet, lol!!!

Really, I am just looking forward to being able to use pull-up trainers or diapers on her again. She does not like to lay down to have her diaper put back on & I really really wish we could afford a stash of Antsy Pants at this point. We have waterproof trainers but she is not ready for them right now.