4 yo Won't Let Me Do ANYTHING!!!

[attached2ethan]

I just posted last week about my 4yo babbling nonstop, but it seems to have progressed into babbling/pestering/asking to play/etc... NONSTOP!

I am 35 weeks pregnant with high blood pressure, supposed to be "taking it easy" and am starting to nest, so I have a million things that need done before the baby comes. I'd like to get my house back in order and knock out a few small tasks that need to happen, but my previously docile and self-entertaining child is taking over the entire day with his neediness.

I am torn between enjoying the last few weeks with just he and I at home (older DS is at school, but with summer and baby coming, things are about to be very chaotic) or trying to get all these things done. I know that spending quality time together is important, but I'd like to be able to balance better.

It's really hard because previously I had a lot more energy and ability to get stuff done, but now I have to rest a lot to keep my BP down, and when I do get up and around I'd like to be doing dishes, laundry, and folding baby clothes in addition to playing with my DS.

I specifically planned to be at home all day today so I can tackle some
projects, but the morning went like this:

7am-9am- Get up, get 7yo ready for school, take him to school and come back home, where 4yo immediately expects my full attention even though brain is going in a hundred directions

9am-10:30am- swam in the pool (supposed to be exercising and relaxing for blood pressure, instead DS was hanging all over me, jumping in, splashing, and generally being obnoxious)

10:30am-11:00am- had snack together and read books outside on porch

11:00am-11:30am- tried to check email and organize thoughts while he showed me a thousand things and talked my ear off and i never did get around to thinking myself.

11:30-12:00pm- made lunch together and ate it at the table (he had my full attention)

12:00-12:30 pm- Did some Mad Libs and puzzles together

Currently on MDC trying to get some advice while he babbles about his lego creations and wants me to look at him every second. Naptime coming soon and that is my only quiet time of the whole day (if he naps) but I haven't done anything that needs doing yet, and my house is really a wreck.

Any thoughts or advice are appreciated- and btw I am really trying to get my kids away from electronics, so TV/computer, while it's a good break, is limited to about an hour per day, usually when older DS gets home because dinner time is when I need the break the most, LOL!!! Thanks!

Jessica, Mom of Three
DS #1 (age 7)
DS #2 (age 4)
DD due soon!

[Becken]

Kids can SMELL when you aren't interested in what they're talking about, I swear! I've found that if I give my full and undivided attention to my 3.5 year old for 20 minutes or so - BEFORE she starts pestering me - I can then gently guide her into more independent play for a while.

This is not an age where they like to be independent, though! So you have to work within his limitations. That said, I do think they can be trained into longer periods of independent play, and with that new baby coming, you'll be wise to transition him into not needing your full attention quite so much. That way, when you're busy with the new baby, he won't have to quit you cold turkey!

1. Can you engage him in YOUR daily activities? Not all interaction with your DS has to be playing his games with him. I'll tell Dd1, "It's time to clean up the house a little bit. Would you like to wipe the counters or sweep the floor?" Of course, she's pretty inept, but it keeps her busy and it's good practice for her regardless! Once she's done with her little chores, she's MORE than ready to escape to her room and play by herself so she doesn't have to do anything else! lol

2. Quiet Time. My Dd dropped her nap at age 3 but I was pregnant and HAD TO HAVE PEACE. So I instituted mandatory Quiet Time. Dd goes into her room and can play quietly or read, but may not come out until the little egg timer I've set for her goes off. We started with 15 minutes and gradually increased it to an hour as she's become capable of entertaining herself for that long. It takes a bit of work and consistency at first, but you'll be really grateful for this tool once that baby comes!

3. The Nap Bag. Have a special bag or box of toys and books that ONLY come out during nap time, or quiet time - or whatever time you really really need to have him away from you. This will be especially helpful when you are trying to nurse the new baby to sleep and he is leaping around on your bed being a monkey or some such animal and you want to scream with frustration!


HTH.