any advice? nap problem

[mama_tigress]

My 3.5-year-old son is in preschool five mornings a week, and my just-turned-2-year-old twins go three mornings a week. So every weekday I am picking somebody up at noon, which happens to be the twins' nap time. As a result, I have to admit that since the beginning of the school year last fall, my boys have taken just about every nap in the car. Once they fall asleep in the car, I can't transfer them without waking them (which is unfortunate; at this age my older boy transferred easily, and I always wore/strolled/drove him to sleep for naps). On the weekends we are also generally doing things that involve driving, or they will sleep in a stroller maybe. I've actually deliberately planned the day around assuming they would nap in the car

At this point it is too hot to sleep in the car without it running, though. I had been parking the car in my driveway with the doors open, and then staying either in my front yard or in my dining room with the window open (I could see the car and hear any noise at all). But now it's too hot for that. Over the summer I can arrange things so I won't be driving at their nap time, but now I have to figure out how to get them to sleep somewhere other than the car.

At night they usually sleep in their cribs, but sometimes end up with me. They are no longer nursing. My older son does not generally nap, so I can't just lay down with the twins.

Any suggestions? I feel like it's hopeless! They really desperately need to sleep. They're the type of kids who becoming screamingly unhappy when they are tired

[Llyra]

I struggled with this, actually, when DD1 was in preschool and my twins were young toddlers. They would fall asleep in the car, and I couldn't leave them out there because I have to park in a parking lot, and so I'd have to wake them up, and then they wouldn't sleep again the rest of the day, so they'd be going on this measly five-minute nap, and they really needed more.

I never found a real solution. I wound up rearranging DD's preschool schedule so they'd keep her until 3 pm and she would nap there, so I could get a good nap in for the twins. It was so not ideal, because I really couldn't afford the extra money.

Even now it still sometimes happens that DS will try to fall asleep in the car, and I wind up driving with all the windows of my van wide open, and reaching back and (GENTLY!) pinching DS's legs to keep him awake until we get home.

So probably you first have to work out how to keep them awake in the car. A snack or drink, maybe? The windows rolled down? Nifty toys they only get to play with in the car?

Are they resistant to falling asleep at home-- in bed, or wherever you'd prefer that they sleep? That could take time, and a lot of patience, to start a new nap routine like that, especially if you can't lie down with them. I remember having to leave DD1 alone downstairs when I had to lie down with DS and nurse him to nap, and it was really hard to help her understand that she couldn't come up with me. I know it's not ideal, but will the older child watch TV while you lie down with the younger ones, at least for a little while when they're just getting used to the new routine?

[mama_tigress]

Thanks for the reply! I actually got them to lay down for naps in their cribs on Saturday--amazing. Previously they would just get upset if I tried. Also, they have been transferring more easily, so maybe that will become an option.

I also want to reiterate that when I leave them in the car, I am always within sight of them and can hear every peep they make. I also live on a quiet street with friendly neighbors who are outside almost all the time. Just in case anybody was questioning that ;-)

It's hard to convince my older DS to leave me alone with the little guys to get them to nap, especially on a school day when he's been away from me all morning. He just hates when they have attention without him. But I think if I reserve some kind of great activity that he loves for that time, like playing a computer game, it would work. As far as keeping my twins from falling asleep in the car, I have tried so many things and nothing really works! I can start with a snack, but they just throw it if they are tired, so then I'll start babbling about elephants and iguanas on the roadside to get them to look (lol), and I'll act insane singing crazy songs really loudly, etc. Once in a while it actually works...Hopefully in the summer I can rearrange schedules to just avoid driving at nap time. The fact that they happily fell asleep in their cribs, even just that one time, is really promising to me.

thanks!

[Llyra]

You'll laugh, I'm sure, and think I'm nuts, but my favorite ways to keep them awake in the car are: 1. rolling all the windows down on the freeway, so the van is like a wind tunnel, 2. keeping a light piece of cardboard in my hand, and putting their car seats in the middle seat of my van right behind me, so I can periodically reach back and bop each of them in the head, 3. putting DD1 between them, and giving her the job of hassling them a lot, and 4. reaching back to tickle and pinch their legs.

Good luck. It's really trying, to change sleep routines that have become ingrained. It takes patience that I personally find it HARD to muster up. Having them fall asleep in the cribs is a BIG step!