I don't understand "show up to the hospital pushing" - Page 3

[Galatea]

When talking to FTMs, I don't say, "Wait until pushing." I say, "If you can still talk/laugh/do anything besides concentrate on the contractions, then it is likely too soon to go. Wait until you have to concentrate on labor and nothing else." This generally works for first-birthers. For my friend, she showed up at 9 cm and it worked. For my 2nd birth, following this rule led to a 40 minute car ride, standing up, at 10 cm, so I don't think it is great advice after the first birth. For my 3rd, we had a HB b/c I apparently can progress quickly!

[CI Mama]

Originally Posted by zoebird

the other thing here is that listing out a group of possible reasons why people are choosing the hospital, and some of those reasons being "less than optimal" such as lack of trust in one's body or in birth, does not mean that every person who chooses a hospital birth will be choosing based on that reason in part or alone.

This is a good point. I want to add that trust or lack of trust in one's body are not polar opposite monolithic qualities.

I trust my body to do all kinds of things...to tell me when I'm hungry or tired, to dance with joy & abandon, to ride my bike to work & home every day, to sleep well when I get the chance, to see & smell & taste & hear, and all kinds of things. Through a long period of TTC I learned to trust that it would conceive a child (or to be OK if it never did), and I feel lucky that I did conceive. Through pregnancy I learned to trust my body to grow a baby, and through breastfeeding I've learned to trust that it can make food for my baby.

And there are things that I don't trust my body to do. I don't trust it to climb Mt. Everest or run a marathon or dance the lead part in Swan Lake. And I don't trust it to get something perfect the very first time that I try it, especially something as big and mysterious as childbirth.

I chose a hospital birth and in spite of my best efforts I had a c-section. I still trust my body. I think it's awesome that women can have swift, painless, unassisted births, I'm just not one of them. I also think it's great that women can scale Mt. Everest and run marathons and dance the lead part in Swan Lake. And I know I'm not one of them either.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that trusting your body doesn't have to mean believing that it can or should do absolutely everything. Part of trust is knowing your own limits and respecting them.

[Magali]

I'm choosing an arrive as late as possible hospital birth because I live 40 mins from a hospital and I guess I find some level of comfort in having emergency care available should I need it. Yes, I realize that an emergency can happen at any stage of labor, but I can't pick exactly how this birth is going to turn out, and I am just trying to do the best I can with what minimal options are available to me. So this is the balance I am planning on...go in late to avoid interventions, but still be somewhere that if I need help I can get it. This certainly doesn't mean that I think the hospital is the best place to have a baby...but in my situation, this is what feels right for me.

[aylaanne]

nak

For my next birth, if I am living near the same hospital, I will likely go to the hospital either pushing or almost pushing. I'm a VBAC, which at most hospitals means continuous monitoring, which I want to avoid. I also don't want to deal again with the aftermath of a homebirth; my midwives and their apprentice, and my son's doula, all used my kitchen, and everything was out of sorts for days afterward. It might have been because we ended up transferring, but I still don't want to deal with it again.

And that's the real kicker for me. I've paid for two homebirths and had two transfers--that means I'm paying for my birth twice. I cannot afford to pay for another homebirth and another hospital admission. So, if I'm living near a natural-birth friendly hospital, especially if it's the same hospital where my first two children were born, I'm going to hire one of my midwives as a doula/monitrice, who can come, monitor my baby's heart rate during my labor, and check my cervix if that's something I want, and then come with me to the hospital when it's time to push the baby out.

If I'm not near a VBAC/Natural Birth-friendly hospital, then I may try another homebirth, but it really depends on the circumstances, and the midwives available in my area.

[Adamsmama]

I'm wondering about this, too. I don't disagree with it at all -- I just haven't done it. With my first I was so excited to be in labor that I went to the hospital and got sent back home before actually starting active labor later that night. With my 2nd I waited at home for 3 hours of very steady contraction. They didn't get really really bad feeling for another 4.5 hours but by the time they did -- I had less than an hour until he was out. My 3rd was an induction but once I felt I couldn't take the pain anymore it was only an hour later that the baby was out (went from 5-10 and pushing baby out in hour both times).

So my question is, with baby 4, we live 30 minutes from the hospital my midwives/OBs deliver at -- there is a closer hospital, but it doesn't have as good a reputation and my practice doesn't go there, another one does. So -- what happens if I wait it out like I'm planning to -- if I wait too long I guess I have the chance of making it there 20 min before the birth -- 10-15 min before pushing. I'm afraid of having the baby in the car. I have very long early labor and prodominal labor but very short active labors -- I'm not sure if it is wise for me to wait.

Number 1 was a long labor with complications but number 2 and 3 followed the exact same pattern -- number 2 was 9 hours ... but took 8 hours to get to 5cm. With number 3 the labor was 7 hours with a 6 hour early labor.

[dogretro]

I did not read all of the responses, so this is just my data point.

I REALLY wanted a UC, but dh was not comfortable w/ that. Baby number two was my first labor & vaginal delivery, so I understood. I did stay at home as long as possible. I made sure that we left before I got pushy & I walked in at a seven which was perfect.

FOR ME, once it was all said and done, I was very glad that I delivered in the hospital. Having never vaginally birthed before, I only had a mental idea of what would happen. I had NO idea it would truly hurt that badly. DD's heart rate also started to crash at the very very end (truly, down to 60) & it was v nice to have help & encouragement to push her out at the end. Plus, after she was out I was still in a lot of pain & was all shaky, etc etc.. Nothing that I was worried about b/c I knew it was normal, but it was v reassuring to be in the hospital with experts & not just me and dh. I would feel more confident in doing a UC now, but I told dh that IF I ever get pg again, I don't want a UC anymore.

[Kelly1101]

Originally Posted by Adamsmama

I'm wondering about this, too. I don't disagree with it at all -- I just haven't done it. With my first I was so excited to be in labor that I went to the hospital and got sent back home before actually starting active labor later that night. With my 2nd I waited at home for 3 hours of very steady contraction. They didn't get really really bad feeling for another 4.5 hours but by the time they did -- I had less than an hour until he was out. My 3rd was an induction but once I felt I couldn't take the pain anymore it was only an hour later that the baby was out (went from 5-10 and pushing baby out in hour both times).

So my question is, with baby 4, we live 30 minutes from the hospital my midwives/OBs deliver at -- there is a closer hospital, but it doesn't have as good a reputation and my practice doesn't go there, another one does. So -- what happens if I wait it out like I'm planning to -- if I wait too long I guess I have the chance of making it there 20 min before the birth -- 10-15 min before pushing. I'm afraid of having the baby in the car. I have very long early labor and prodominal labor but very short active labors -- I'm not sure if it is wise for me to wait.

Number 1 was a long labor with complications but number 2 and 3 followed the exact same pattern -- number 2 was 9 hours ... but took 8 hours to get to 5cm. With number 3 the labor was 7 hours with a 6 hour early labor.

What is the area like-- urban or pretty/rural? Possible to drive over there in early labor and then walk around for a while until things start getting serious?

[Adamsmama]

Originally Posted by Kelly1101

What is the area like-- urban or pretty/rural? Possible to drive over there in early labor and then walk around for a while until things start getting serious?

City/suburbs ... we have to take the interstate to get the hospital -- if it is in the middle of the night or mid day we should be fine with time ... if it is early morning or rush hour it could take 45 min or more. Good idea about getting there early and hanging around. There is a big mall around there that we could use for walking if need be.

[Quinalla]

Honestly, I don't think folks do recommend to literally show up pushing very often, only in circumstances where someone has been told C-section is their only option when is shouldn't be and the like. I think the more common advice is to show up to the hospital well into active labor, especially for first time moms who often have no clue when to go in.

I ended up going from 5cm in triage to complete as soon as I was checked (at my request as I felt my body starting to push) in the delivery room and I am pretty sure now that I was in transition for the car ride and check-in. I wouldn't recommend waiting as long as I did, but for me, things moved very fast and I don't think I felt the contractions until I was actually in active labor, so I didn't realize where I was in labor. It was pretty hilarious looking back at how frantic the nurses were to get the room ready after they figured out I was complete Though they hadn't seen many painkiller-free births as they kept going on and on about how well I did.

[Greenlea]

What is UC?? I'm guessing something like an unassisted birth at home? Not sure but I can tell you why I feel that way, as I've considered both home birth (assited and unassisted) and I've had a hospital birth. I had no bad experiences with my hospital birth - including my midwife, nurses, and staff. I loved having my baby at the hospital - the nurses did everything for you, all cleanup, I could call down to get food and not have to make it myself, I didn't change my son once while in the hospital, I felt taken care of and well rested. And I did not have continuous monitoring of the baby, I didn't want it.

While I didn't go to the hospital ready to push, I did labor at home for a while with my son. But my shower quickly ran out of hot water and I was making a mess leaking amniotic fluid everywhere. At the hospital they had plenty of hot water and I didn't have to worry about the mess. But I still wanted a low intervention birth.

[Paige, CPM]

In regards to the statistical safety of going to the hospital later in labor and the whole idea that fetal monitoring is all it is cracked up to be (which I am sure many of you are well aware of)...

http://www.philly.com/philly/health_...-sections.html

[veryhappydog]

Originally Posted by CI Mama

This is a good point. I want to add that trust or lack of trust in one's body are not polar opposite monolithic qualities.

I trust my body to do all kinds of things...to tell me when I'm hungry or tired, to dance with joy & abandon, to ride my bike to work & home every day, to sleep well when I get the chance, to see & smell & taste & hear, and all kinds of things. Through a long period of TTC I learned to trust that it would conceive a child (or to be OK if it never did), and I feel lucky that I did conceive. Through pregnancy I learned to trust my body to grow a baby, and through breastfeeding I've learned to trust that it can make food for my baby.

And there are things that I don't trust my body to do. I don't trust it to climb Mt. Everest or run a marathon or dance the lead part in Swan Lake. And I don't trust it to get something perfect the very first time that I try it, especially something as big and mysterious as childbirth.

I chose a hospital birth and in spite of my best efforts I had a c-section. I still trust my body. I think it's awesome that women can have swift, painless, unassisted births, I'm just not one of them. I also think it's great that women can scale Mt. Everest and run marathons and dance the lead part in Swan Lake. And I know I'm not one of them either.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that trusting your body doesn't have to mean believing that it can or should do absolutely everything. Part of trust is knowing your own limits and respecting them.

This is one of my favorite posts I've read on here so far!

To further clarify, yes I'm interested in other women's choices because I'm curious about them, and we're on a public discussion forum, which is probably a good place to ask questions.

I keep reading birth stories describing a birth in which the baby couldn't descend well because of a short cord, or some other factor interfering with labor before the woman is complete. I know it's not literally "show up pushing", but I was curious as to what makes the risk of something happening during a longer active labor but before going to the hospital feel okay to you personally, but the risks of something happening after the birth seem greater than those during earlier labor.

[accountclosed3]

fwiw, i did have an unassisted birth at home and didn't make myself any food, or have to do anything but enjoy the process of labor and birth. after the birth, i didn't do any cleaning up either. i was supported, loved, and well cared for. so, it is possible to have a UC and experience those "hospital benefits" right there at home.

likewise, i did birth my first (and currently only) baby UC. i chose it for a variety of reasons--and i wouldn't necessarily say that trusting my body was one of them per se. it just seemed like the safest, and deeply right, method for us. that, of course, simplifies it, but it is true.

i believe that i can trust my body to run a marathon or climb mt everest if i prepare for it. preparing for it may be physical, mental, or spiritual. could be all of those things. and there is risk inherent.

i don't think i could do the lead in swan lake, not because my body isn't inherently capable, but because i do not have the requisite training.

but they are good examples of what we are willing to do and not willing to do, and how far we understand our own body's capacities. I think it's an important *very important* part of how, where, and with whom we choose to birth.

it requires us to have self-knowledge. that self knowledge will not lead astray. Choosing a hospital based on self knowledge is perfect. choosing a UC based on self knowledge is perfect. it's the foundation of good decision making, even with mountain climbing and marathons.

[Kelly1101]

Originally Posted by zoebird

i don't think i could do the lead in swan lake, not because my body isn't inherently capable, but because i do not have the requisite training.

You can't train your baby to be perfectly healthy.

[CherryBomb]

Originally Posted by Kelly1101

You can't train your baby to be perfectly healthy.

Yes. A "low-risk" mom DOES NOT mean a low-risk baby. And even women who appear to be incredibly low-risk can have catastrophic complications come out of nowhere (yes, even during an intervention free hb or uc).

I don't believe you can train your body to have a perfect birth. You can do things to help improve your chances of a positive outcome, like exercising regularly so your body has stamina for birth, but there's just not a magic formula that guarantees you anything.

I don't agree that self-knowledge won't lead you astray. I've seen many times on this board womens intuition/self-knowledge blow up in their faces.

[jeminijad]

Originally Posted by CherryBomb

I don't agree that self-knowledge won't lead you astray. I've seen many times on this board womens intuition/self-knowledge blow up in their faces.

You are right. Intuition is not infallible. In fact, I don't give it much credence as a diagnostic tool at all.

But getting to the hospital early (most hospitals, with most doctors & nurses) means you ARE going to be subjected to monitoring, poor positioning, restrictions on eating, increased risk of major abdominal surgery, and the usual laundry list that we are trying to avoid.

It is a trade off. No one ever argues that going in late, or homebirth, or UCing, is risk free. We are just trying to trade the nearly guaranteed evils of the maternity machine for the possible evils of avoiding it.

[Mountaingirl79]

I labored at home until transition with my second birth for many reasons. The main one being that I didnt know how dialated I was and how close he was to coming until I got there. ( I was in labor for 22 hours at the hospital with my first, my second came in 4 hours, from start to finish. )

Also, I didnt want to be in the hospital any longer than I had to, because of my long hospital stay with baby # 1..and I wasnt quite ready for the home water birth I have planned for my next baby.

Anyway, I arrived at the hospital at 8 cms and he was born 30 minutes later. It was perfect for me at that time.

[CherryBomb]

Originally Posted by Mountaingirl79

I labored at home until transition with my second birth for many reasons. The main one being that I didnt know how dialated I was and how close he was to coming until I got there. ( I was in labor for 22 hours at the hospital with my first, my second came in 4 hours, from start to finish. )

Also, I didnt want to be in the hospital any longer than I had to, because of my long hospital stay with baby # 1..and I wasnt quite ready for the home water birth I have planned for my next baby.

Anyway, I arrived at the hospital at 8 cms and he was born 30 minutes later. It was perfect for me at that time.

Absolutely! Though I like being in the hospital after birth, it's nice to have some quiet time with the new baby

But yeah, I don't want to get there too early in labor. With my vba2c, I had steady, regular contractions coming every 5-7 minutes for over 12 hours that petered out. Same thing the next day. It wasn't till the third day I went into full on labor. I was so glad I didn't go to the hospital that first day! As it was I showed up at 7cm, which was a little later than I would have liked, but it worked well

[CI Mama]

Originally Posted by jeminijad

But getting to the hospital early (most hospitals, with most doctors & nurses) means you ARE going to be subjected to monitoring, poor positioning, restrictions on eating, increased risk of major abdominal surgery, and the usual laundry list that we are trying to avoid.

And if you know ahead of time that your hospital is one of the rare exceptions that does limit monitoring, allow you to labor in whatever position you want, eat whenever you want, etc., then obviously that's good information to consider when deciding when to show up.

[Comtessa]

Originally Posted by zoebird

my first birth was really exciting. from the moment i thought "ooh, this is it" i didn't know that i probably should have just tried to get comfortable and sleep for as long as i could.

i was so excited, i just wanted to feel and experience everything, that i stayed up to do that, and then meditated (and napped a bit) throughout the day, and by the time transition hit, i was like "i just want to go to bed." and guess what? you never "just go to bed" again.

This was me, too!!!
If I had been planning a hospital birth, I probably would have gone in about 12 hours into my labor, when my contractions started ramping up, assuming the baby was on her way out. It's a good thing I planned a home birth, because my labor was 52 hours from start to finish and I never would have avoided interventions in the hospital if I had been there for 2 days.

As it was, I transferred, so I actually did "show up pushing" - or, at least, fully dilated. I was too exhausted to push, so I went in to request an epidural to slow my labor (for once, that was a GOOD thing). I slept for 5 hours (yes... 5 hrs sleep at 10 cm... unbelievable...) and then pushed for four hours to get the poor child out. Besides that 11th-hour epidural, no other interventions... which was a miracle that I attribute fully to my home birth plans.