What led you to the decision not to circ. - Page 3

[Magali]

I never even gave circ a second thought until I watched the Penn and Teller circ video. That was something I could not ever do to my child. But, I didn't become anti-circ until some years later when I started hanging out at MDC.

[Belia]

I read a description of the procedure and saw some of the equipment that is used during the procedure (the board where they strap the LOs down is what sticks out in my mind). I was going to watch the video, because I figured that if I was going to do that to my newborn I should know exactly what "that" is. But I never made it that far because I was so grossed out by the stuff I did see. I've still never seen the video. And DS is intact!

[JessicaS]

My grandmother.

My uncle was damaged by circ. She always told us not to do it.

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

When I was about 6 months pregnant, my mother asked me, "So, have you thought about circumcision?" And that lead to her telling me what she had seen as a maternity nurse. She sent me a book about saying no to circumcision and that was that. All her grandboys are uncirc'd because of her! Go Nana!!

[Friday13th]

My DH is intact and perfectly happy with it. I didn't become passionate about it until joining MDC when I was pregnant with DS1.

[To-Fu]

I think it was when I came to feminism and started thinking about issues of genital integrity in general. RIC just didn't make sense to me! I had an intact boyfriend at the time who really helped educate me, thankfully. Now I have one intact son and another on the way.

[annablue]

It never would have occurred to me to circumcise. The foreskin is there for a reason; no need to mess with something that's not broken, right? My husband is intact, as are my brother and father, so circumcision wasn't really on my radar rather than "nah, seems pointless to me."

I already knew I wouldn't circumcise, but hadn't thought much about it other than that... but I began looking into it a little more just out of curiosity. After learning about the important function of the foreskin, the agony it causes the baby, and complications from circumcision, it only cemented my decision and made me passionately against it.

[Fyrestorm]

Originally Posted by To-Fu

I think it was when I came to feminism and started thinking about issues of genital integrity in general. RIC just didn't make sense to me! I had an intact boyfriend at the time who really helped educate me, thankfully. Now I have one intact son and another on the way.

That's actually very interesting. I have found that within the feminist movement (just in my person experience and what I have seen searching on line) That there is a HUGE disconnect between female genital integrity within the movement and RIC. I have (in my personal experience) never had a feminist agree that RIC is bad. Every one of my militant feminist friends who has a son has them them cut - granted it's only 5 of them...but in my circle, it's a 100% rate.

Can you please expand on your thought process on this?

[MorgnsGrl]

DH and I were in complete agreement that we would never circ a child from the time we started talking about having one. DH is intact, his brothers are intact, his father is as well, so I didn't have to convince him, LOL! My mom just nodded and said it made sense when I told her medical professionals have come around to thinking that circ is unnecessary, and that we didn't want to cause our baby pain for a purely cosmetic surgery. Both of my nephews are/were intact, with the decision being made before DH and I had a chance to give our input.

We have friends who are planning to circ their baby boy when he's born this coming week, and it makes me incredibly sad.

[Arduinna]

Originally Posted by MommytoB

I chose to notcirc because my son father(ex) is not circ'ed so I said well I will just leave him alone not really thinking too much of it . Then when I told mom about it she said he's going to be really sick with all these infections & diseases so I said okay I will look some more researching of what all those potential infection and disease problems which is how i came to find those were flawed studies saw more of the circ stuff which creeped me out totally even after I saw a video ofit I couldn't even get through the beginning wondering how they ever allowed that stuff to happen because i thought it was down right Cruel and twisted .

So then I spout off stuff to mom about it and she's like it's good you have a cause but she gets annoyed because she don't want to hear me talking about it .

My mom tried that "it's so much cleaner" excuse on me. I just told her that X ( my boyfriend at the time ) was intact and it was fine. She never brought it up again.

[Arduinna]

Originally Posted by Fyrestorm

That's actually very interesting. I have found that within the feminist movement (just in my person experience and what I have seen searching on line) That there is a HUGE disconnect between female genital integrity within the movement and RIC. I have (in my personal experience) never had a feminist agree that RIC is bad. Every one of my militant feminist friends who has a son has them them cut - granted it's only 5 of them...but in my circle, it's a 100% rate.

Can you please expand on your thought process on this?

In general, this has been my experience also. There does seem to be a disconnect between what happens to boys and girls genitals. I know quite a few women IRL that wouldn't identify as feminists that are pro intact though.

[annablue]

Originally Posted by Fyrestorm

That's actually very interesting. I have found that within the feminist movement (just in my person experience and what I have seen searching on line) That there is a HUGE disconnect between female genital integrity within the movement and RIC. I have (in my personal experience) never had a feminist agree that RIC is bad. Every one of my militant feminist friends who has a son has them them cut - granted it's only 5 of them...but in my circle, it's a 100% rate.

I had a discussion about RIC with several women who identified as feminists, and they actually became quite upset with me, saying that male and female circumcision are "not even close to being comparable" and to compare them was "an insult to the victims of female genital mutilation."

[Fyrestorm]

Originally Posted by annablue

I had a discussion about RIC with several women who identified as feminists, and they actually became quite upset with me, saying that male and female circumcision are "not even close to being comparable" and to compare them was "an insult to the victims of female genital mutilation."

That has pretty much been my experience as well - I'm hoping To-Fu comes back to elaborate

[Crunchy Frog]

Originally Posted by annablue

I had a discussion about RIC with several women who identified as feminists, and they actually became quite upset with me, saying that male and female circumcision are "not even close to being comparable" and to compare them was "an insult to the victims of female genital mutilation."

I'm kind of mystified by this. I think of myself as a feminist, though not particularly militant, and I am totally opposed to surgically modifying childrens' genitals without a medical indication regardless of gender.

I always thought that feminist meant that you believed in gender equality. Maybe for some militant feminists it's more about hating men on some level, and thinking that circ will "even the score".

As to not being comparable to female circ, well, female circ isn't even comparable to female circ there are so many different kinds and levels of severity. Really, some are much, much worse than what we do to baby boys, but some are quite a bit less severe. I've never understood this need for one-upmanship "my gender's suffering is worse than your gender's".

Maybe I don't fit in with the feminist mindset, even though I think of myself as a feminist.

I certainly want to teach my sons that women are their equal, and that they must always respect them and their rights to bodily autonomy. I feel that my decision to respect their bodily autonomy is their first lesson in learning to respect others.

Anyway, it's late and I'm sort of babbling, but I don't see how circ can really be consistent with true feminist ideals. If we want sons who will respect women we have to start out as women who respect our sons. JMHO.

[PuppyFluffer]

"If we want sons who will respect women we have to start out as women who respect our sons."

Crunchy, I hope you don't mind, but I just took this and posted it to FaceBook on my wall. What a powerful statement! (And yes, I gave you credit for it. I wonder how many people will ask me who Crunchy Frog is? )

[mum4boys]

Originally Posted by laohaire

I don't think that comment was helpful at all. Obviously the culture in the USA supports circumcision as being a good choice. There are threads that ask "Why did you decide to home birth" and I could say "What a weird question. I never had the desire to go to the hospital when I wasn't sick." But I wouldn't want to be that judgemental toward people who had been told all their lives that the hospital is the only safe place to have a baby - just like we've all been told that circumcision is necessary, cleaner and safer.

It was not about being judgemental. I have always found it a weird question always when asked if I am going to cut off part of my child's body. My first 4 children are males oldest being in his 20's. He was born in part of the country where midwives were illegal and the hospital at 95% formula fed upon leaving the hospital and routine circumcision was done without permission (my second son was circumcised without consent). First time I held my son, he was no longer intact. So I stand by my orginal statement. It is a weird question and it is a shame in this country we have to ask are you cutting off part of your kids body?

[Carrie Posey]

I was just out of High school, so maybe 19, and a friend had a son, she wanted someone the baby knew to be there when he was circed. I went. It was so horrible there is NO WAY I would let anyone do THAT to my child, and no one did.

[glongley]

Originally Posted by annablue

I had a discussion about RIC with several women who identified as feminists, and they actually became quite upset with me, saying that male and female circumcision are "not even close to being comparable" and to compare them was "an insult to the victims of female genital mutilation."

At the NOCIRC Symposium in Keele, UK, in 2008 a coalition of groups working against female genital mutilation and male genital mutilation was formed, a positive sign for overcoming the disconnect that is being discussed here.

http://genitalautonomy.com/

Gillian

[fruitful womb]

I watched one.

That did it!

[2xy]

Originally Posted by Crunchy Frog

I always thought that feminist meant that you believed in gender equality.

I think the word "feminist" has been distorted and twisted by the media and by those who equate feminism with women wanting to be men. Hence the qualifier "militant".

I think a lot of people hear the word "feminist" and think of man-hating, career-minded women who leave their kids with nannies and drink martinis.

Feminism is nothing more than the belief that women should have the same rights that men have....politically, socially, and economically. I don't know any women who don't believe that, to be honest. Really, I wouldn't want to know any women who don't believe that.

I am a feminist and find RIC to be a disturbing and horrific practice. I have several friends whose sons are intact, and they are all feminists, too.