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What led you to the decision not to circ. - Page 5

post #81 of 115
It started with Mothering magazine, then the forums and much research through the internet. My first child is almost 8.5 and I am almost sure that if she had been a boy she would have been circ'd. I am so thankful I had my kids in the order I did. Anyway- everyone in my family is circ'd and I think I would have done it because I didn't know anything about the foreskin. Didn't know all the benefits, didn't know anything.

When I was pregnant with my 2nd (also a girl), my eyes started opening about circ. We knew she was a girl, but was still asked in the hospital if we would circ- in case she was actually a boy. My answer was "no", even though my DH had not really talked a lot about it- mainly because we knew she was a girl. I had done enough reading to know it was not something I wanted done, but I still didn't have the realizations at that time that I do now.

I know have a 12 week old intact boy. During this pregnancy is when the research truly started, presenting the facts to my DH. Not only did I become someone who didn't want to circ, but someone who feels ill that this procedure is still routinely done in this country. It makes me ill for those babies. I am SO SO thankful for the journey that led me to leaving my sweet boy intact. I am so thankful that he was not born first.
post #82 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by glongley View Post
Top reason: I had seen unanesthetized circumcisions in nursing school, and my gut level reaction was that it was barbaric, and that I would never do that to my own children. it's been such a long time since we had kids that I don't really remember what other thought processes I had going on about it, but this sticks in my mind as the biggest cause. I think if every parent had to watch a circumcision before making their decision, there would be a lot fewer circumcisions happening.

Gillian
How horrible. I really don't get how that can be considered ok. I just got into an argument on my FB about my stance on circ, someone copied my Intact America stance(why I have no idea, since she then stated she was pro circ). The woman's MIL said that "it really doesn't matter, because it is a painless procedure." Yeah tell that to the baby who's getting his foreskin cut off. Yuck. IDK why people think infants have no pain, WTF is wrong with these people?
post #83 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by Norasmomma View Post
IDK why people think infants have no pain, WTF is wrong with these people?
This has always puzzled me also. It was pretty obvious to me when DS was 2 hours old that he was perfectly capable of feeling pain, so I don't know how anyone can make the statement that newborns are incapable of feeling pain, which was apparently taught to some doctors in med school.
post #84 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by Norasmomma View Post
IDK why people think infants have no pain, WTF is wrong with these people?
Quote:
Originally Posted by NSmomtobe View Post
This has always puzzled me also. It was pretty obvious to me when DS was 2 hours old that he was perfectly capable of feeling pain, so I don't know how anyone can make the statement that newborns are incapable of feeling pain, which was apparently taught to some doctors in med school.
the state of denial is apparently a beautiful place for many people to live, especially when it comes to their helpless children.

sus
post #85 of 115
I live in the UK and don't have boys BUT if I lived in the USA and had boys I still wouldn't have had them circumcised. I mean, its got to hurt, you are born with a fore skin for a reason and I could just go on and on. Circumcision simply doesn't seem like a good, logical choice.
post #86 of 115
I was at a talk where the speaker said "There are 100 million males walking around the US today who were tortured at birth" (i.e. received no anaestethic).

I never liked circ, but that really got him thinking.
post #87 of 115
You can always take it off, but you can't ever put it back on. Before I knew much of anything about circ, that thought entered my head. I happened to read a circ debate online about two years ago, and there was an intactivist mama who posted several times, very eloquently. I googled it immediately, and became very anti-circ. The icing on the cake was when I realized the long-term effects of circ on both men and women. I realized that when a circ went perfectly, it wasn't necessarily the most awful, terrible thing in the world. However, given the extremely high complication rates, that seems like such a crazy gamble to take. If something happened to my DS as a result of his circ, I'd never be able to live with myself telling him "you can't ever have a normal sex life all because of an unnecessary cosmetic surgery. If I'd just left you alone, you'd be completely fine." Over the past two years, I've obviously learned a lot more about it.

I am thankful every day that I became educated on circ at such a young age (eighteen). I'll never have to live with that regret when I do have children someday.
post #88 of 115
When I found out my first baby was a boy, I was started researching on the topic. My husband could have gone either way. My dad said he wished he had been circ'd, and when my brothers were born, no one asked my parents, they just did it. But when really got me, aside from thinking it was unnecessary, was the scars on my husband. When he was a toddler, he had to have his re-done becasue something was wrong with how it was done as a newborn. Then his zipper caught on the stitches and tore them out, leaving permanant scars. There's no way I'd want my child to go through anything like that. Sadly, my son has never seen another boy his age with a foreskin and he asks why I didn't have it done. I say it's not my choice, and when he grows up, it's up to him to leave it or not.
post #89 of 115

What led you to the decision not to circ.

Can anyone provide links to the research that they refer to? Hoping to get some good evidence to convince DH - who is not only of the mind that it is "normal" but also that it prevents STDs, and cuts HIV risk in half (as cited by some studies in Africa).

Thanks!
post #90 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by tfadams View Post
Can anyone provide links to the research that they refer to? Hoping to get some good evidence to convince DH - who is not only of the mind that it is "normal" but also that it prevents STDs, and cuts HIV risk in half (as cited by some studies in Africa).

Thanks!
You might want to do a search for STDs and HIV in the Case Against Circumcision Forum, as they have been discussed over and over again over the past years. Also, you might want to post your request as a separate thread, so this thread doesn't get off track. I'm sure many people would be glad to provide you links there.

Gillian
post #91 of 115
I didn't make a decision not to circ. Inaction doesn't require a decision all the time. You make a decision TO circ. In my mind there is a big difference.

It was never a question or a decision to be made in my household. Just as so many other "big decisions" such as bf weren't ever decisions but just were.
post #92 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Amy~ View Post
That's interesting that the culture surrounding RIC in so different out West. And people talk about the Maritimes as being backward No one in my family is circ'd either. In fact the only circ'd man I've ever seen or heard of is my DH (he was born in the States).
This is sad, but true. My doctor tells me that there are a lot fewer circumcisions being performed now than five years ago, but they do still happen - I know of two.

On another note, I have twice written to The College of Physicians and Surgeons of Alberta asking what their official policy is regarding infant circumcision. They huffily replied that they expect their members "to use good judgement".
post #93 of 115
I haven´t read the whole thread, but will reply to the OP´s question...

We live in Peru where it is not as common to circ. - although many still do. DH is not circumsized and the pediatrician we chose, who is pretty straight-laced about most things and who studied and practiced in the States for years - is very anti-circumsicion. Also, one of my closest friends is a licensed naturopath - we were both raised in a reform Jewish households - and I asked her about the subject when I was pregnant. She had already done the research (religious and medical) when she had been pregnant with DD1 (which they didn´t know was going to be a DD) and informed me of what she found. That was enough for me - for me the religious reasons were bogus and outdated (I am not even religious, so why would it matter) - and we had encouragement from the Pedi. that there is almost NEVER any valid medical reason to circumsize. It was pretty simple and that was enough for us. I have also always been wary of altering the natural body permanently and coupled with the fact that DH is intact, we were both very comfortable and happy with our decision not to do it.
post #94 of 115
I have 2 boys and they are both circed. I did not realize at the time that it was so controversial or had such a lasting impact on them. I just thought it was the "normal" thing to do. I guess my thinking on that subject had never been challenged before. I thought I would just ask my DH because he would know more about it than me. Since he is circed that's what we did. Thinking back on it now I wish we had dug into the subject more thoroughly . I guess we just didn't know what we didn't know.
post #95 of 115
I watched some videos. I presumed the first one was an exaggeration or a propaganda thing. I watched a few more. Then I learned that it makes sex more pleasurable for a male to have the foreskin. Then I learned that it was not unsanitary and not likely to be a contributor to STDs.

Then I gave a lot of thought to why I thought I would circ and whether I was really going to do what I saw in the videos to my son to protect him from potential locker room banter. And I thought about the source of strength and pride in a young boy and decided I could try to equip him with tools to accept and be proud of himself in the event he does turn out to be the kid who gets teased, and gets teased about being intact.

I thought about what I wanted to teach him. I want him to learn to be his own person, to be able to be proud of himself. How can I teach him to be his own man if I surrender his body to accommodate useless cultural norms that hinder his sexual pleasure?

Finally, I decided that for me to be proud of myself as a mother, I had to let go of my inclination to cling to the mainstream, and make the best decision for him. No health reason to do it; less pleasurable sex; pain to a newborn baby v. what?
post #96 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by Norasmomma View Post
she then stated she was pro circ
you know, it´s funny...I never thought of anyone as being, particualrly "pro-circ" - as if that were something to fight for - to try to convince everyone to circumsize their boys...I mean, if you do it, I don´t agree but ultimately it´s not my decision to make for you...it seems silly and odd to me that someone to take a position to try to convince me to circumsize...I know the woman was defending her decision more than trying to make others do it (I guess), but someone labeling his/herself as "pro-circ" just seems odd to me...
post #97 of 115
When I was pregnant with my first I assumed I would circ if she had been a boy, just because that's what everyone does (and I live in an area that still has a circ rate of like 80%). Then I started actually learning about it. Watching circ videos clinched it for me. No way would I ever do that to my baby. This is our first boy and I'm glad it's not a conversation dh and I even need to have now, he'll absolutely be intact
post #98 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahdavida View Post
you know, it´s funny...I never thought of anyone as being, particualrly "pro-circ" - as if that were something to fight for - to try to convince everyone to circumsize their boys...I mean, if you do it, I don´t agree but ultimately it´s not my decision to make for you...it seems silly and odd to me that someone to take a position to try to convince me to circumsize...I know the woman was defending her decision more than trying to make others do it (I guess), but someone labeling his/herself as "pro-circ" just seems odd to me...
The main reason the need to educate about the harm of circumcision exists is because of the well funded and active work of a handful of people who are PRO circumcision. Edgar Schoen, and Brian Morris come to mind.

Two years ago at the Genital Integrity Awareness Week demonstration in Washington DC, John Geisheker from Doctors Opposing Circumcision, made the statement that if you put all the pro circumcision people in one place - they would fit into a minivan. He was referring to those in places of influence and not the misled general public. The point being that the pro circ movement is well funded (Bill and Melinda Gates funding of circ in Africa for example) but conducted by a few very PRO circ people.
post #99 of 115
I agree with PF - I think a lot of the people in the general public that come off as pro circ are just defending their decision or status.

In my circles (I live in a very high circ area) people that have cut their sons are very defensive of the decision...especially in light of the truth. Their defensiveness makes them come off as pro circ.

People need to believe that they made the best choice for their child. They need to keep on believing it.

Many men who defend circ are cut - they come off as pro as well, they need to know that what was done to them was better then being left intact. Their defensiveness makes them appear pro.
post #100 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahdavida View Post
you know, it´s funny...I never thought of anyone as being, particualrly "pro-circ" - as if that were something to fight for - to try to convince everyone to circumsize their boys...I mean, if you do it, I don´t agree but ultimately it´s not my decision to make for you...it seems silly and odd to me that someone to take a position to try to convince me to circumsize...I know the woman was defending her decision more than trying to make others do it (I guess), but someone labeling his/herself as "pro-circ" just seems odd to me...
Oh, some people are definitely pro-circumcision, and label themselves as such. I agree that most people are just defending themselves, but pro-circers do exist.
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