Just need to talk about it

[OJazzy1]

OK. I have a 22 1/2 month old son who was conceived right after I got married so no "trying" involved unless you call honeymooning trying. Even though I EBF'd for over a year I still had the return of my period at 6 weeks pp. I am not sure that I was having full ovulatory cycles at that point or not. We did trying to avoid for the first year though we were not actually using full on birth control just either avoiding those times or pulling out (which I know is not reliable for most ppl but DH is pretty good for what it is worth) anyway when DS was about 14 months old we decided to quit avoiding and when we didn't get prego we decided to start charting and really trying, that was in January. Now I also had some really crazy cycles going on and didn't get things regulated until about January as well, I was on vitex per my midwife's instruction as well as evening primrose, I was having TERRIBLE PMS. So just after January it seemed to straighten out. I have now been charting for 3 full cycles (this will be my 4th) and this last cycle I was finally getting up at the exact same time and being really "good" about things and this past month my chart looked great.

So why I am I rambling like this? I am getting nervous. We didn't have to do this the first time around. I keep getting freaked out that there is something wrong. Has anyone else experienced this? I mean we are a healthy active couple... I just guess I want some other people to talk to about it and to get it all written down so that it doesn't have to just rattle around in my brain. It is also very difficult since my sister who has a 11 month old is now 4 months pregnant and she did not want to be pregnant again and her cycles started back at 8 weeks pp even though she was EBFing, and I know we are totally different ppl and I am really glad that I have had this wonderful time with my DS but now I am just plain worried.

Thanks for listening.

[MaerynPearl]

My first three were all babies who scoffed at various methods of avoiding pregnancy (pull out, condoms, birth control, in order)

This one we tried for seven cycles over two years to finally conceive. Was I disheartened? Oh heck yes. By the second cycle I started to question if something was wrong with me.

All of my tests since getting pregnant however show that nope, nothing was wrong. My thyroid was fine, all of my levels of everything are RIGHT where they should be (well my iron was borderline but I am always borderline there even trying to keep it up, wouldnt have kept me from conceiving for so long!)

I am sure DF had no problem either... we just got so unlucky those first six cycles that we werent in that 30% with perfect timing and nothing wrong that were getting pregnant... this time we just happened to be.

It can happen! Really... I understand that you are upset but there's no reason to be just yet, you could just not be getting lucky yet... there is so much involved with conception if you look into it sometimes its amazing that conception ever even happens at all!

[alexsam]

Sleeping baby on my arm, but... 6 mo for #1 and 4 mo for #2. Nothing wrong. Sometimes it just takes a while!

[ZoeJane'sMommy]

Hang In There

First off let me just say I completely understand how stressful and disappointing it can be to try to get pregnant. My first one took 18 months to get pregnant with drugs and charting, so I don't know about my second one I just started charting yesturday.

I do want to tell you about my sister in law. Her first baby she started casually starting in July and got pregnant at the end of august(this was 4 years ago). When they decided to have another one she was trying really hard because she was so ready to have another one. They did everything by the book, all the wives tells all the tracking and vitamins. By the fourth month she was so dissappointed in herself that she gave up...................low and behold she ended up pregnant the following month. I doubt there is anything wrong with you. Your body is just being picking trying to find the swimmer for the right egg. Hang in there and I know its almost impossible not to stress about something you want so bad, but you have to try. As much as you are having sex you probably don't even need to chart. The moment you give up and forget about it will be the moment you get pregnant! Murphies Law(well kinda).

Your doing good hang in there its a tough haul whether its 2 months or 10 years. I will be praying for you and I know your hard work will pay off soon.

[HulaJenn]

my first was an accident, my second we got preggo the first month trying and then my third I got frustrated because it took 3 months of charting. I know that is small in comparison to how long a lot of people TTC- but you just kinda expect it to "happen". Especially when it did so, so easily at first. Like Mae said, it really is a miracle that the population is where it is at because so many things have to be right for conception to happen. So as hard as it is, don't be discouraged and presume something is wrong. I don't even think docs recommend any intervention until you've been trying at least 6 months if not a year (with no known history of problems). It takes the avg "normal" healthy couple 4-6 months. Just keep doing what you are doing!

[OJazzy1]

Thanks ladies for your encouragement. Sometimes it is just nice to talk about all the silly fears, get it out there and have some other people read and understand and let you know that nothing is "wrong" otherwise you have to do the whole battle in your own head. So thanks.

[PhotoJournMama]

We are in much the same situation. The first pregnancy was not exactly planned, but a very healthy one. This time around, we have been trying to over a year and had two losses and are now undergoing a litany of fertility tests. We are healthy, eat well and exercise, and are in our 20s. I guess previous fertility isn't always an indicator of how easily you will get pregnant the second time around. It is definitely discouraging, but I hope that you can hold onto hope and remain positive (most of the time). Isn't it great to have a place to let it all out?

[OJazzy1]

Yes it is a good to have somewhere to go and chat about it that isn't in the immediate circle of people I know. It is discouraging isn't it? I am sorry for your losses, I have not had to deal with that and I can only imagine that it must be difficult. So here's to us getting (and staying!) pregnant!

[AmeliasMum]

2 weeks to get pg with DD. 21 months to get pg with DS while BF'ing but having ovulatory cycles. And then 9 months to get pg with this babe. Yeah, this one was a very excited surprise. I planned on it taking 1+ years again, as I am tandem nursing this time. But alas, this babe was determined!