Originally Posted by blessedwithboys
i think it may be helpful for you to talk to someone IRL that you really trust so that you will have accountability.
i agree with this poster.
i went through this when my son was around 4months. he was absolutely inconsolable - just miserable to be held/rocked/everything. i was REALLY struggling with feelings of anger. i felt my energy intensify often and felt i was always so close to the brink of doing something i would regret - i'd leave him in his crib and just cry.
i found confiding in my husband was extremely helpful. the more i talked about those awful feelings the less alone and scared and MONSTERLIKE i felt.
and then - we made the decision to slowly back out of the circus act we were running around my son b/c it seemed he was miserable with or without us. and the 'with' part was making me crazy and feeling inadequate to be a mother.
once we did that. literally the clouds parted. there are still tough days - especially since he has been teething lately - days when that frustration revisits, mainly because he is so whiney and annoyed ALL DAY LONG. but its different. and i manage.
really threw me for a loop though. i didn't grow up in an abusive home or have ever had to struggle with that sort of feeling - ever. its scary.
my sympathy!!! hang in there - and TALK to someone. figure out methods/techniques you can start to practice that may help you decompress before you get to that boiling point.
i would imagine most mamas have been there at some point or another.