Do you get enough time to spend with dc?

[samy23]

With working and/or studying, the children in school and going to extra curricular activities, do you feel you get enough time to spend with your dc?

I work and study part-time, my dd is in school, plus has 1 extra curricular activity,, Im thinking about getting her involved in some other activities, but am worried if I do that, then during the weekdays we won't have much time together at all.

How do you balance it all and still get enough time together?

[akind1]

I guess the question is how much is "enough"? I WAH 3 days a week, and WOH 2 days. on WAH days I am really fielding DS - 5 months - and my work, which is ok at the moment, the two co-exist pretty well. Days I WOH, DH and I did a trade off; he cooks and I take care of the baby, I can't do both, and frankly I would rather take care of the baby. I think I get "enough" time, but sure, I wish I had more!

How old is your child, I think that has something to do with it too. If DS were school age, and he was in school all day, I think a few hours a day would be "enough" . . .but it is hard to say as each parent-child relationship is different.

[Alyantavid]

I think so. But I get off work at 3:30, so that leaves us 5ish hours a day. We do limit activities to 1 at a time so I do think that helps.

The only thing I feel like I miss out on is not seeing them in the mornings. DH does all the morning drop offs and sometimes no one's even awake when I leave. But after being the only parent every morning for years, it's so nice to not have that stress and dh handles mornings much better so it works out.

[samy23]

Bump. Anyone else, thoughts?

[lunarlady]

I work out of the home long hours. (7-5) So I don't see my DD all that much. But she LOVES her preschool, and I know she gets steller care there, so I don't fret too much about it.

I guess I don't feel like we have to spend hours and hours together to have a good bond. We have a special love that is there regardless of time. Honestly, sometimes when we take a week holiday, I'm ready for some adult time after 24/7 toddler play for days on end. So both of us are happy and healthy with our set up, even though we only get about 4 waking hours a day together (except, of course, for weekends!). I do feel like an odd duck out, however, as I know most parents like more time with their kids.

[lmbjer]

We are and will be a limited organized activity family. Most of that stems from my working FT. It is very, very important to me that my children and I have maximum time together. Even if that time consists of me cleaning our home and watching over our kids. I am there and can drop what I am doing to play.

I don't think that activities outside the home are worthless, just that they should be carefully considered and selectively chosen.

Sometimes I get caught up in the "they miss so much because I am working that I should make it up to them by doing all kinds of super awesome activities and trips." And I have to calm myself down and remind myself that what they really need is to be at home with DH and myself.

In a nutshell that is our parenting philosophy. And it certainly isn't popular with our mainstream family and friends.

[amma_mama]

I WOH on a full-time basis so DD is in school/aftercare for the same length of time. We absolutely do not have enough time together, I feel. If we make any stops on the way home, it seems like we have dinner then it is already time for her to go to bed. While I know that she is playing with friends every afternoon, it saddens me that we cannot have playdates during the week - the weekends are too full of playing catch up that I am reluctant to send her off to activities without us. I am hoping that this coming year I will be able to work at home a couple of days a week so that she can have friends over or go to activities outside of aftercare. I would still jealously guard our weekends though (of course if she is truly interested in an activity that she can only do on weekends, I would let her).

[meemee]

my dd is 7 and enjoys other people now so doesnt need that much time with me. so weekdays i prefer doing all the playdates and stuff. on the days she is with me twice a week i pick her up at 7 and in bed by 9. however she protests home at 7 because she hangs out with my friends and hates going home.

on fridays we usually have something happening. weekends we like to go with the flow. either outdoors stuff or stay at home stuff or drag her with me to go study.

the key is we also cosleep together. that really is the KEY to us getting enough time.

however it really isnt so much about time as much as rushed feeling.

the worst are the mornings. dd is NOT a morning person. our day would go much better if dd had to be in school at 9 or even better still at 10 am.

however i find i hate the school type of life. you bring homework home and i am always struggling between her and homework. usually she wins which means i went from an A premom student to a C postmom student.

[JessieBird]

Easy to answer - nope, not at all. Mornings and evenings are not quality time for me. Too much rushing and things to get done. DS goes to bed very early (6:30 at the latest) by his choice and so that leaves us barely 2 hours together if we get home on time. We really make the most of our weekends as a family but it's not enough. I feel like the weeks are flying by in a blurr and I'm not cherishing parenthood the way I could. I didn't expect it to be quite so extreme. DS is happy, I really like my job, we need the money, and we're not very stressed out (DS going to bed so early means there's plenty of time for our adult chores, etc) but we've decided that I will SAH after #2 comes this fall. I'll go back part time when we're all ready for that but I can't continue on like this hardly seeing my son at all.

[Ceinwen]

Not at all. Mornings are shot here, and usually most evenings are too. I work shift work 7:30 morning/night to 7:30 night/morning.

So, if I'm dayshift I leave before they are up (or within 1/2 hour) and I'm home after they're in bed (or within 1/2 hour).

Days that I'm off (like today) I'm so mentally shot that I have trouble focusing on my toddler, who is 2.5 years old (my 7.5 year old is in school full time)...

It's a huge issue for me, because ostensibly I work 7 our of 14 days - all spread out usually, and on the days off I'd like to be more present mentally... but I'm finding it very difficult.

I also have no time for myself, which may contribute to my short patience and overall crankiness, foggy feeling - but that's another post altogether.