first time dads

[new york momma]

Just wondering if your partners have changed at all now that they are becoming or have become fathers.

[ivymae]

I think someone's priorities can change, and their habits can change, but who they are - their core values and ways of relating with the world - do not change easily. For those really fundamental things to change, they have to really want to be a better/different type of person, which requires them to see something 'wrong' with how they are now. My husband's habits changed, but because he already have the values and core personality I loved, that didn't change. My dad, on the other hand, changed his habits, but never managed to change how he related to the world, so it's nearly impossible to be close to him (because he doesn't feel the need to be close to other people). I hope this makes sense.