do you offer an alternative to what is being served for a picky kid

[Nosy]

DS2 is going through a picky phase, only wants 4 things to eat at all times. Do you offer a standard alternative, e.g. we are having stir fry but you are welcome to have a sandwich instead? Usually it's that he wants me to cook something else and I refuse. We've done the let him help plan the menu, etc. I'd say this is happening about half the nights of the week where he refuses. We have a CSA share so we cook what we get, and I think that is part of the problem. If I were shopping at the farmers' market I could probably get more stuff that he likes.

[Shantimama]

I do offer alternatives but I never ask if someone would prefer something different than what I am planning. I just plan to have a variety on the table so that everyone will have something they will eat.

I present the alternative on the table along with everything else and let people choose what they will eat. I may know darn well that dd will choose the pita and hummus over the stir fry every time but I don't have a problem with that. She does not have the option to go searching through the fridge for something else or to ask me to cook pasta instead.

I don't serve individual plates from the kitchen the way my mother did and that makes it easier. We have a large dining room table and everything is served from there. It isn't unusual for me to make sure there is a bowl of apples and some bread and peanut butter on the table as well as whatever "main" dish I have prepared. It is just part of the meal and allows picky eaters some choice without me feeling like I am a short order cook or some sort of food-fairy-godmother

As my kids get older they are less picky, if that is any comfort. I don't do anything elaborate to accommodate different tastes. I might heat up some leftovers and add that to the table. Pita and hummus are standard options at our table and don't require more than a minute of preparation but they are a healthy option. Moving the fruit bowl to the table isn't a big deal. Putting some bread and peanut butter on the table while I am setting out a pot of soup is fine - in fact my dh often likes to have some of everything that has been put out. Pita bread with melted cheese works too.

Even when the kids have gone months without being willing to try something, they are still exposed to the smells and sights of the dish while they eat their pita, hummus and fruit supper. By the time they are willing to try a bite it is certainly no longer strange and new and they add it to their list of foods-I-like - it just takes a while to get there sometimes!

It takes a little bit of extra planning but not much really. I plan out what we will have for dinner two weeks at a time so I generally have a good idea what will fly with everyone and what will require a little flexibility on my part if I want everyone to eat from the same table.

[425lisamarie]

We do the "family style" too. Sometimes, like on chicken wing night, the kids/dh go ape over it so i literally don't even make a veg with it, but they eat so good other times i don't care. When I make things I put several things ot on the table and everyone serves. Seriously for kids it even makes sandwich night fun! I"ll always make two kinds of soup, which one may be frozen alreayd or pretty much all soups start out the same and it makes it easy, or I'll add a handful of noodles to kids, or something like that. I put out a big platter of cut up meats/cheeses veggies and mayo/mustard and they fix it up the way they like. Usually they will even put a small piece of some veg they normally wouldn't eat but it just looks like fun. I always use a cheapo plastic tablecloth cover thing and let them serve themselves and then just shake out/rinse off after dinner.

[happysmileylady]

I never offered an alternative. But DD was always welcome to get her own. She had her own selection of healthy foods (cheese cubes, fruit, etc) that was just hers. And she had access to it at any time, even dinner if she wanted that instead. The only thing about dinner time was if she was to get her own dinner, she still had to eat it with us.

The only time I ever offered something different was if I was deliberately making something that I knew she didn't like specifically because I did like it and hadn't had it in quite a while because I was avoiding it because she wouldn't eat it.

This seems to have worked out well for us. DD is now 14 and the only two things I can think of that she just won't eat are green peppers and celery. And she is willing to try nearly anything. In fact, we don't do sweet potatos in our house because DH and I don't like them. She noticed them a few years ago at a holiday get together and wanted to try it even though she had never seen or heard of it...and she LOVES them. My ILs have a pretty strong eastern european background and although they eat all the american stuff like hamburgers and steaks and roasts and so on, they also occasionally have a true polish dinner-pirogies and saurkraut, they had something called "Easter Cheese" that just scared me. DD was all over trying all of it.

[philomom]

I humored my kids a tad when they were small. However, once they were physically capable of making a bowl of cereal or a PB and J.... I offered one meal. If you don't like it.. make your own. Funny how this led to them trying my food more often.

[kittywitty]

Originally Posted by philomom

I humored my kids a tad when they were small. However, once they were physically capable of making a bowl of cereal or a PB and J.... I offered one meal. If you don't like it.. make your own. Funny how this led to them trying my food more often.

This is what we do, too. One of my brothers always insisted on a seperate meal and was SO insanely picky that we never got to eat anything but what he liked or he'd have a meltdown and then we'd have to eat what he wanted anyways. So I don't do this with my kids. I make one meal taking into consideration severe aversions and what my kids like and if, say, they don't like collards, I'll make a second veggie to go with that they can pick instead. Otherwise they can always make a sandwich.

[lil_earthmomma]

Originally Posted by kittywitty

make one meal taking into consideration severe aversions and what my kids like and if, say, they don't like collards, I'll make a second veggie to go with that they can pick instead. Otherwise they can always make a sandwich.

We serve meals family style, and I always try to make sure there is something the boys will eat, but it's served as part of the meal. Right now they are on a huge broccoli kick, so broccoli graces the table almost every evening, in some form or another!

[mamadelbosque]

Nope. DS1 will almost always eat at least some part of the meal - even if its just brown rice or whole wheat noodles. But, no, as a rule I don't offer an alternative to what we're eating. He's welcome to not eat, but I'm not a short order cook, available to make eggs/sandwhiches at his whim. He always eats a decent breakfast & lunch and usually gets a snack between lunch and dinner. If he's hungry before bed he can have a piece of fruit or a cheese stick.

[junipermuse]

If I'm planning on us all sitting down to eat as a family, I expect dd to eat whichever main dish her father and I are eating, but often I'll make different sides for everyone. I might make a baked potato for dh because he likes them, but I'm eating low carb. I might make broccoli or put raw carrots out for dd because she doesn't really like salad yet and I prefer she gets some vegetable rather than none. I often will make a peice of (ezekiel bread) toast with butter for dd as an additional side. Likewise I love brussel sprouts and dh doesn't and dd hasn't really tried them yet. So I make them for myself even if no one else eats them. I kind of feel like everyone should enjoy their food so it's worth it to make things that each person likes. We're a small family though and for a lot of foods only one person will eat them, so I can't just make a bunch of different things and throw them on the table. It's less wasteful just to make small individual servings of things for the person who likes them.

Also a couple nights a week I will just make dd whatever she wants -- a grilled cheese sandwich or a hotdog or whatever. I do this on nights when I plan on eating with dh after the kids go to bed (like when I want to enjoy a 20 dollar steak with a glass of wine, instead of scarfing my food so I can put the kids to bed) or if dh and I are just going to have some leftovers.

Honestly dinner isn't a problem for me, it's the rest of the day when I feel like a short order cook. Dd is always hungry it seems like. And we don't do premade snacks so it seems like it takes effort on my part to prepare any snack or meal for her. Even a peice of fruit requires me to cut or peel it for her.

[JamieCatheryn]

I'll give him a quick salad or carrots in place of a veggie he doesn't like such as peas. If we're having burritos I'll give him a quesadilla, no beans. I usually can get by without resorting to PB&J for dinner.

[wife&mommy]

No I do not make an alternative meal and I don't let them make an alternative meal. However, I always serve at least 1, most of the time 2 or 3 things that they like with the whole meal. They are welcome to eat more of those things and less of what they don't like. I also always let them have fruit after a meal if they ask for it.

[Rosehip]

No alternatives here for dinner. They don't have to eat what is served, but they are not going to have something else. For breakfast & lunch, they can choose from a couple of pretty standard choices.